Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: give a direct topic sentence, then one brief supporting detail. Remove hesitations and filler words, and keep within 2–3 sentences. Use a linking word if adding detail.

例: Yes, I do. I tidy my things once a week, usually on weekends, so my room stays organized and I can find things easily.

提案: Answer directly about the past, then contrast with the present. Use past tense for childhood and avoid repetition and hesitations. Provide one clear supporting detail with a linking word (e.g., but, however).

例: I didn’t have my own room when I was a child, so I couldn’t keep one tidy. However, as a teenager I have my own room and I clean it once a week to keep it orderly.

提案: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and then specific steps. Use linking words (first, then, finally) and avoid repeating words. Give concrete examples of what you do during minor and major cleaning.

例: I keep my study space tidy by doing a quick tidy-up before each study session. First I clear papers and put pens back in a holder, and then once a week I do a deeper clean, dusting and organizing my books.

提案: Give a direct opinion and support it with a clear reason and an example. Use correct grammar (e.g., ‘it affects your performance’) and one linking word to connect opinion and reason.

例: Yes, I think being tidy is necessary because it affects your concentration. For example, when my desk is organized I can focus better and finish tasks faster.

× Yes, of course. I, I usually, uh, every once a week I will uh. Tidy up all my things.

✓ Yes, of course. I usually tidy up all my things once a week.

The original sentence misuses 'will' for a habitual action. Habitual actions use the simple present (I tidy up) not 'will'. Also remove filler pauses and reorder 'once a week' to a natural position. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and place time expressions appropriately.

× In during my childhood I don't have a room, but right now in my teenagers age I have, I got a room and I will keep it tidy, uh, once a week.

✓ During my childhood I did not have a room, but now, in my teenage years, I have a room and I keep it tidy once a week.

Multiple issues: tense and incorrect constructions. Use 'during my childhood' (not 'in during') and the past simple 'did not have' to describe a past state. 'Right now in my teenagers age' is ungrammatical; use 'now' and 'in my teenage years'. Replace 'I got a room and I will keep it tidy' with present simple 'I have a room and I keep it tidy' because keeping it tidy once a week is a habitual present action. Remove fillers.

× Usually before I start to study, I will do a minor, minor cleaning and then after that once a week I will do a major cleaning.

✓ Usually before I start studying, I do a minor cleaning, and once a week I do a major cleaning afterwards.

Using 'will' for routine actions is incorrect; use simple present for habitual behaviour. Also use the gerund 'start studying' rather than 'start to study' for naturalness. Reorder 'once a week' and 'afterwards' for clarity. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and gerunds after 'start'.

× Yes, of course it effect on your uh. Performance while you studying.

✓ Yes, of course it affects your performance while you are studying.

'Effect' is a noun; the correct verb is 'affect'. Subject-verb agreement requires 'it affects'. Also use the progressive 'you are studying' to indicate an action in progress. Remove filler and unnecessary preposition 'on'. Suggestion: use 'affect' as verb and match subject-verb agreement, and use 'you are studying' for ongoing actions.