Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and confident. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one brief specific example and a linking phrase. Avoid hesitations and repetition (e.g., "when I'm when I'm"). Also keep to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I usually like to keep things tidy. For example, I clean my desk every evening so I can focus the next day. However, when I’m very tired after a long day, I sometimes leave a few things out and tidy them the next morning.

提案: Answer directly, then add a specific supporting detail and a linking word to make it coherent. Avoid absolute phrases like "all the time" unless accurate. Keep it natural and under five sentences.

例: No, I didn’t keep my room tidy as a child. For instance, I often left toys and books on the floor because I preferred playing to cleaning, but my parents would tidy it up on weekends.

× Umm, of course I try my best to keep everything neat, but sometimes when I'm when I'm tired I just leave everything.

✓ Umm, of course I try my best to keep everything neat, but sometimes when I'm tired I just leave everything.

The sentence repeats 'when I'm' causing redundancy and awkwardness. This is a sentence structure issue and relates to present continuous contraction use. Remove the duplicate 'when I'm' to make the present-tense meaning clear and fluent. Suggestion: proofread to avoid repeated fragments and keep the tense consistent (present simple for habitual actions and present continuous for current states).

× Actually not, I'm not very good at tidying everything so my room is like a mess all the time.

✓ Actually not, I wasn't very good at tidying everything, so my room was a mess all the time.

The examiner asked about childhood (past), so the student should use past tense. The original uses present tense ('I'm', 'is') which is a tense mismatch. Change verbs to past tense ('wasn't', 'was') to match the time frame. Also replace 'is like a mess' with 'was a mess' for natural past description.