Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 직접 답한 점은 좋지만, “quiet outgoing”처럼 서로 반대되는 형용사를 함께 사용했고, “went to the went to the park”처럼 반복이 있습니다. 또한 “I riding”, “going for a learn”은 문법적으로 부정확하므로 “I rode my bike”와 “went for a walk”으로 고쳐야 합니다. 어린 시절 공원에서 무엇을 했는지 구체적인 활동과 그 이유를 연결어로 설명하면 더 자연스럽고 효과적인 답변이 됩니다.

例: Yes, I really enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often rode my bike, went for walks, and played with my friends there. Since I was quite sociable, I loved spending time outdoors with them. Those afternoons were always fun and relaxing.

提案: 현재도 공원을 좋아하는지 명확하게 답했고 이유도 제시했지만, “I ride a bike and going”은 동사 형태를 일치시켜 “ride a bike and go for a run”으로 수정해야 합니다. “going for a lung”은 의미가 불분명하므로 의도에 따라 “go for a run” 또는 “go for a walk”을 사용하세요. “This time made me feel happy and improve my energy”도 “It makes me feel happy and re-energized”처럼 자연스럽게 표현하고, 공원에서 하는 구체적인 활동을 한 가지 더 추가하면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially when I have some free time. I usually ride my bike or go for a run there. Being outdoors helps me clear my mind and feel re-energized after a busy day. That is why parks are one of my favorite places to relax.

提案: 더 많은 공원을 원하는지에 대한 답변이 반복되고 문장 구조가 불명확합니다. “Of course I like I really like...”와 “park”의 반복을 줄이고, “I’d like to see more parks”처럼 정확한 표현을 사용하세요. 공원마다 “different personality”가 있다는 생각은 좋지만, 그 의미를 시설, 분위기, 자연환경 등의 구체적인 예로 설명해야 합니다. “Although my city already has many parks, I’d like to see more of them because...”와 같이 연결어를 사용하면 논리성이 향상됩니다.

例: Yes, I’d definitely like to see more parks in my city. Although there are already several parks, each one could offer a different atmosphere and purpose. For example, some could have sports facilities, while others could be designed for quiet walks and relaxation. More parks would give residents more ways to enjoy nature.

提案: 가고 싶은 공원의 이름과 이유를 제시하려고 한 점은 좋지만, 공원 이름을 일관되게 사용해야 하며 “is very known for a beautiful park”는 “is well known for its beautiful scenery”로 고쳐야 합니다. “I like I really like”와 “a greatest park” 같은 반복 및 관사·최상급 오류도 수정하세요. 아직 가 보지 않은 공원이라면 “I have heard that...” 또는 “I would like to visit...”을 사용해 시제를 명확히 하고, 어떤 경치나 활동을 기대하는지 구체적으로 설명하면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, I’d like to visit Grand Central Park in the future. I’ve heard that it is well known for its beautiful scenery and spacious walking paths. I’d love to take a long walk there and enjoy the atmosphere. It seems like a great place to relax and spend time outdoors.

× So I usually went to the went to the park.

✓ So I usually went to the park.

The phrase went to the park is repeated. Repeating the same verb phrase makes the sentence structurally incorrect. Check your sentence once for unnecessary repeated words before continuing.

× When I went to the park, I riding a bike or going for a learn and hang out with my friends.

✓ When I went to the park, I rode a bike, went for a walk, and hung out with my friends.

The sentence describes past activities, so the verbs should be in the past tense: rode, went, and hung out. Also, walk is the correct noun in the expression go for a walk. When talking about past habits, use the past form consistently.

× When I go to the park, I ride a bike and going for a lung.

✓ When I go to the park, I ride a bike and go for a walk.

The two activities should have parallel verb forms. Because the sentence uses ride, the second verb should also be in the base form, go, not the -ing form going. Use go for a walk, not go for a lung.

× This time made me feel happy and improve my energy.

✓ This makes me feel happy and improves my energy.

The answer is about your current experience, so the present tense is needed. The subject this takes makes and improves. Keep both coordinated verbs in the same tense.

× Of course I like I really like the park there are many parks in my city but I'd like to more see the park because park its park have a different personality, so I want to enjoy its personality.

✓ Of course, I really like parks. There are many parks in my city, but I would like to see more parks because each park has a different personality, so I want to enjoy their different features.

The original sentence contains repeated words and several independent clauses joined without appropriate punctuation. Separate long ideas into shorter sentences and use conjunctions correctly. This makes your answer clearer and easier to follow.

× I'd like to more see the park.

✓ I'd like to see more parks.

More should be placed before the plural noun parks, not between to and the verb see. The natural structure is would like to see more parks. In addition, parks should be plural because you are talking about more than one park.

× Because park its park have a different personality.

✓ Because each park has a different personality.

The singular subject each park requires the singular verb has, not have. The phrase park its park is also structurally incorrect. Use each park when referring to the parks individually.

× Of course Grand Center park.

✓ Of course, I want to go to Grand Central Park.

The original phrase does not contain a complete verb phrase, so it is a sentence fragment. Add the subject I and the verb phrase want to go. Also, the park name is Grand Central Park.

× Grand Central Park is very known for a beautiful park.

✓ Grand Central Park is well known as a beautiful park.

Well known is the natural adjective phrase used to describe something that many people know. Very known is not normally used in this context. Use well known as or well known for being when explaining why a place is famous.

× I went to a greatest park of the world.

✓ I went to one of the greatest parks in the world.

The superlative greatest must be used in the structure one of the greatest parks. Because you are referring to a group of parks, park must be plural. Use in the world, not of the world, in this expression.

× I went to a greatest park of the world.

✓ I went to one of the greatest parks in the world.

The superlative form greatest normally requires the definite article the in the phrase one of the greatest parks. Do not use a directly before greatest in this structure. Practise the fixed pattern one of the + superlative adjective + plural noun.