Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答基本切题，但没有清楚使用过去时来描述童年经历；“when I'm trying”表达不清，应该说“When I was a child”。句子过长，多个原因和例子之间缺少清晰的连接，且“make me feel enjoying my life”“the them park”等表达不自然。建议先直接回答喜欢，然后说明去公园的频率、原因，并列举一两个具体设施即可。

例: Yes, I did. When I was a child, I went to the park about twice a week with my family. I enjoyed playing there because the park had a playground, a pond, and plenty of open space. It was a great way to have fun and relax.

提案: 回答表达了喜欢去公园的原因，但开头缺少完整结构，应该说“I’m at university”或“When I’m at university”。注意主谓一致和固定搭配，例如“my internship makes me tired”“relieve my stress”。“Paragua”含义不清，可能想表达“park”；最后的“to”是多余的。建议使用两到三句完整句子，并补充在公园做什么。

例: Yes, I do. I’m at university, so I have a lot of homework and an internship, which can be exhausting. I often go to a nearby park to relieve stress and take a quiet walk.

提案: 回答态度明确，但“City have”应改为“My city has”，而“hydride parks”“moving parks”“this unkind of parks”表达不准确，影响理解。建议使用常见且准确的词，如“theme parks”“riverside parks”和“community parks”。此外，“provide”重复了一次，内容可以通过“for example”和“so”连接，并说明不同人群如何受益。

例: Yes, definitely. My city has several parks, but I think we need more community parks and riverside parks. They would give children safe places to play and provide older people with somewhere to walk and exercise. More parks would also make the city less crowded and more pleasant.

提案: 回答切题，并且选择了具体的公园，但“the most impressive”不适合表示未来想去的地方，建议改为“the park I’m most interested in visiting”。“Hyder Park have”应改为“Hyde Park has”，“pounds”可能想表达“ponds”，而“flowers and trees”不是“entertainment”。建议说明想去的具体原因，例如景色、历史或活动，并控制在三到四句内。

例: Yes, I’d like to visit Hyde Park in London. I’m interested in it because it has beautiful gardens, ponds, and plenty of open space. I’d love to take a walk there and enjoy the scenery, as I’ve heard it is a peaceful place for both families and older people.

× Yes, when I'm trying, I often go to park about twice a week because I think park will release my pressure and make me feel enjoying my life make me feel better and the park also has a lot of entertainment such as the them park, the Pond, the river.

✓ Yes. When I was a child, I often went to a park about twice a week because I thought the park would release my pressure and make me feel better. The park also had a lot of entertainment, such as the them park, the pond, and the river.

题目询问童年时期的经历，所以应该使用一般过去时。将“I'm trying”改为“I was a child”，将“go”改为“went”，将“think”改为“thought”，将“has”改为“had”。描述过去的习惯时，动词通常要使用过去式。

× make me feel enjoying my life

✓ make me feel better and enjoy my life

“make + 宾语 + 动词原形”是正确结构，因此应说“make me feel”，而不是使用“feeling”或“enjoying”来表示使某人做某事。这里应使用“enjoy”这一动词原形。

× I often go to park ... because I think park ...

✓ I often went to a park ... because I thought the park ...

“park”是可数名词单数，泛指一个公园时要使用不定冠词“a”。第二次提到同一个公园时，要使用定冠词“the”。

× Of course when I go university because I have a lot of homework and housework need to do and I also have an internship.

✓ Of course, when I go to university, I have a lot of homework and housework to do, and I also have an internship.

“go”后面表示去某个地点时通常需要介词“to”，所以应说“go to university”，不能说“go university”。建议记住常见结构“go to + 地点”。

× when I go university because I have a lot of homework and housework need to do

✓ When I go to university, I have a lot of homework and housework to do.

原句中“because”引导的结构不完整，而且“homework and housework need to do”缺少清晰的主语和正确的动词结构。可以使用“have + 名词 + to do”表示“有某事要做”。

× The internship make me extremely tired

✓ The internship makes me extremely tired.

主语“The internship”是第三人称单数，所以一般现在时中动词“make”要加“-s”，改为“makes”。建议先判断主语是单数还是复数，再决定动词是否加“-s”。

× The internship make me extremely tired, so I often go to Paragua to release my pressure to

✓ The internship makes me extremely tired, so I often go to Paragua to release my pressure.

句末多余的“to”使句子结构不完整。“to release my pressure”已经是完整的不定式目的结构，后面不需要再添加“to”。

× City have a variety of parks

✓ The city has a variety of parks.

“city”是单数名词，因此谓语动词应使用“has”，不能使用“have”。同时，这里指的是特定的城市，使用“the city”更合适。

× this unkind of parks can provide provide entertainment area for children and elderly people and all kinds of people

✓ These kinds of parks can provide entertainment areas for children, elderly people, and all kinds of people.

原句中“provide”重复出现，造成句子结构错误。情态动词“can”后面只能接一个动词原形，因此应使用“can provide”。同时，列举多个服务对象时，可以使用逗号使结构更清晰。

× Hyder Park have a variety of entertainment

✓ Hyde Park has a variety of entertainment.

“Hyde Park”是单数专有名词，所以一般现在时中应使用“has”，不能使用“have”。第三人称单数主语后，动词通常需要加“-s”或使用相应的单数形式。

× Hyder Park have a variety of entertainment such as pounds, flowers, trees, and they are provided for children and elderly people.

✓ Hyde Park has a variety of entertainment such as pounds, flowers, and trees, and it provides entertainment for children and elderly people.

“they”没有清晰的指代对象，而且前面的“a variety of entertainment”通常被视为不可数概念。此处用“it”指代单数的“Hyde Park”更清楚。建议使用代词时，确保读者能够明确判断代词指代谁。