Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear, correct sentences and precise vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct common word errors (bark → park; I ever got lost → I once got lost). Avoid repeating ideas and long run-on sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often went there to play and exercise, but I sometimes felt nervous because the parks were crowded and I once got lost while exploring. Despite that, I enjoyed the fresh air and playing with other children.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then add a concise reason with correct vocabulary and linking words. Replace incorrect words (bug → parks) and simplify phrasing (we are the human → people). Use one or two supporting details about when and why you go.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I believe people should exercise regularly. For instance, I often walk in the park every evening to improve my health and relax after work.

提案: Answer directly and provide a specific reason with an example. Correct grammar (have the park → parks are; I'm live → I live) and reduce repetition (nowadays). Mention where parks are needed and one benefit they would bring.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I live in a small town with few public facilities. For example, new parks would give children safe places to play and provide more opportunities for exercise and community events.

提案: Start with a direct reply naming the park, then give two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words for coherence. Correct names (Sirikit Bag → Queen Sirikit Park or Queen Sirikit Botanical Garden?) and fix small mistakes (Bak → park). Provide a short personal reason or plan.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Queen Sirikit Park in Bangkok. It is a beautiful and peaceful park, and I want to see its gardens and relax there; furthermore, I have heard it hosts interesting flower displays, so I would go when I visit the capital.

× 'Definitely when I was a child, I always went to bark to exercise.'

✓ 'Definitely, when I was a child, I always went to the park to exercise.'

'Singular and plural issue: "bark" is a misspelling and should be "park" (singular). Use of the correct noun fixes meaning. Also add a comma after "Definitely" for clarity.'

× 'I was nervous and excited at the same time because there are many people in the bark and I don't know and I ever got lost.'

✓ 'I was nervous and excited at the same time because there were many people in the park, and I once got lost.'

'Subject-verb agreement and sentence structure issues: "are" should be past tense "were" to match "I was". "Bark" is corrected to "park". "I don't know and I ever got lost" is ungrammatical; "I once got lost" conveys the intended meaning in past context. Also add a comma and conjunction for readability.'

× 'Yes, I still like going to bug quite clearly because it is very significant that we are the human that should exercise every day or every evening to make real are good health.'

✓ 'Yes, I still like going to the park very much because it is important that we humans should exercise every day or every evening to stay healthy.'

'Singular and plural issue and word choice: "bug" is a wrong word; replace with "park". "we are the human" is incorrect—use plural noun "we humans". "to make real are good health" is ungrammatical; use "to stay healthy". Overall adjust wording to fit present tense and natural English.'

× 'Of course nowadays have the park is very essential or powerful for humans in nowadays.'

✓ 'Of course, parks are very essential for people nowadays.'

'Article and sentence structure issues: The original repeats "nowadays" and misorders words. Use plural "parks" to match general statement and "people" instead of "humans" for naturalness. Add a comma after "Of course".'

× 'So I like to see more park in my city because I'm live in local city that not have many facilities in my city.'

✓ 'So I would like to see more parks in my city because I live in a small town that does not have many facilities.'

'Singular and plural, subject-verb agreement and article errors: "more park" should be plural "more parks". "I'm live" is incorrect; use "I live". "local city" is awkward; "a small town" or "my town" is clearer. "that not have" needs auxiliary: "that does not have".'

× 'In my opinion, I think it is Sirikit Bag.'

✓ 'In my opinion, I think it is Sirikit Park.'

'Present tense and word choice: "Bag" is a wrong word; correct to "Park". The structure "In my opinion, I think" is redundant but acceptable; correction focuses on the noun.'

× 'It is the Bak in my capital city of Thailand.'

✓ 'It is the park in my capital city, Bangkok.'

'Singular and plural and word choice: "Bak" is incorrect; correct to "Bangkok" as the city name and clarify that it is a park in the capital. Add a comma for readability.'

× 'It is in Bangkok city.'

✓ 'It is in Bangkok.'

'Incorrect use of prepositions/wording: "Bangkok city" is redundant in English; simply say "in Bangkok".'

× 'It is very very nice and the place is very quiet.'

✓ 'It is very nice, and the place is very quiet.'

'Incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs: Repeating "very" twice is informal and redundant; use one "very" and add a comma before the conjunction for correct coordination.'

× 'I love it and I want to go there if I have a chance.'

✓ 'I love it, and I would like to go there if I have the chance.'

'Present tense and modal verb nuance: "I want to go there if I have a chance" is understandable but "I would like to go there if I have the chance" is more natural and polite. Add a comma before the conjunction.'