Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer grammatically correct, concise and more natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds like “uh” and correct verb tenses (use past simple for past habits).

例: Yes, I loved going to the park near my home with my close friends. We usually spent hours there playing on the swings and having picnics, which made those afternoons very memorable.

提案: Use present simple for habits and be more precise. Combine ideas into one or two sentences and use linking words to explain reasons. Replace vague phrases like “laundry walk” with clearer expressions.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially at the weekend. I often jog there to relax and clear my mind after a busy week.

提案: Provide a direct answer and then one or two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use natural expressions such as “recharge my batteries” and check singular/plural forms.

例: Yes, I would. New parks would be great because they offer more places to exercise and relax, and they help me recharge my batteries after work.

提案: Answer directly and give specific reasons. Use correct grammar and clearer phrasing for facts (e.g., “where the Olympics were held”). Keep it to two sentences maximum and avoid unnecessary words.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Olympic Park in Beijing because it is very large and famous for hosting the Olympics. I think it would be interesting to see the sports venues and the landscaped areas there.

× Yes, uh, I remember when I was a child, I usually go to a park near my home with my close friends and we spend hours there, have some, uh, enjoying time.

✓ Yes, uh, I remember when I was a child, I usually went to a park near my home with my close friends and we spent hours there, having an enjoyable time.

The sentence mixes past context ('when I was a child') with present tense verbs ('go', 'spend'). Use past tense for actions that happened in the past. Also 'have some enjoying time' is ungrammatical: use 'having an enjoyable time' or 'having fun'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and use the adjective 'enjoyable' with 'time' or the phrase 'having fun'.

× Definitely when I have free time, especially at the weekend, I would like to go to the park, have some jogging and running. Just help me relax from the laundry walk.

✓ Definitely, when I have free time, especially at the weekend, I like to go to the park to jog and run. It helps me relax from household chores.

Mixed modal and habitual tense: 'would like' implies a conditional desire while the question asks about present habits. Use present simple 'I like' or 'I usually like' for habitual actions. 'have some jogging and running' is unnatural; use 'to jog and run' or 'go jogging'. 'Just help me relax from the laundry walk' is unclear and ungrammatical; replace with 'It helps me relax from household chores' or 'It helps me unwind after doing laundry.' Suggestion: use simple present for habits and natural verb structures (go jogging; it helps me relax).

× Yes, I would explore some new park in my city and I think park. It's a, a good place for me to help me recharge my battery and on the yes, so I think uh it's a good uh experience uh to explore some new park.

✓ Yes, I would explore some new parks in my city. I think parks are good places for me to recharge my batteries, so I think it's a good experience to explore new parks.

Number agreement errors: 'some new park' should be plural 'some new parks' or 'a new park'. 'I think park' is incomplete. 'Recharge my battery' is idiomatic but usually plural as 'recharge my batteries'. The sentence is also repetitive and disfluent; split into clearer sentences. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches quantifiers (some -> plural) and use standard idiom 'recharge my batteries'.

× Yes, I would like to visit the Olympic Park in Beijing as I know it's a large park and especially it has a hold the Olympic Games. So if I have chance I would like to visit there.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Olympic Park in Beijing because I know it's a large park and it hosted the Olympic Games. If I have a chance, I would like to visit it.

Incorrect verb tense and phrasing: 'has a hold the Olympic Games' is ungrammatical; the correct past form is 'it hosted the Olympic Games' or 'it was the site of the Olympic Games'. Also 'visit there' should be 'visit it' or 'visit there' can be improved to 'visit it'. Add article 'a' in 'have a chance'. Suggestion: use past tense 'hosted' for events that occurred in the past and correct pronoun/object references ('visit it').