Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details connected by linking words. Avoid vague words and correct tense and article use (e.g., "when I was a child").

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. For example, I often visited a small park near my home because it helped me relax and reduce stress after school.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence and then specific activities with linking words. Fix grammar (use plural/singular correctly) and avoid filler words like "uh."

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are my favorite places to unwind. For instance, I often go for picnics, short walks, or to meet friends for a relaxed chat.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with one specific detail. Remove fillers and improve sentence structure (use relative clauses correctly).

例: Absolutely. I would like more parks because a new, popular park has just opened in my city, and I want to visit it to compare its design and facilities with the small neighborhood park I usually go to.

提案: Clarify your meaning and organize your answer: state the park you want to visit, explain why, and provide a specific cultural detail you expect to learn. Correct vocabulary ("park" vs "pub" and "other country").

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks in other countries, especially botanical gardens in Japan, because they have different landscaping and cultural gardening traditions that I could learn from.

× Yes I did when I was a shy I was going to back because it's helped me relax and reduce stresses.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was shy, I used to go back to parks because they helped me relax and reduce stress.

Errors: incorrect past tense and awkward phrasing. 'I was a shy' is ungrammatical—use adjective without article ('shy') or 'a shy child'. 'I was going to back' is incorrect; use 'used to go' for habitual past. 'it's helped' mixes present perfect with past context; use past 'helped'. 'stresses' should be uncountable 'stress'. Suggestion: use 'used to' for past habits, match verb tense consistently, and use uncountable nouns correctly.

× Yes, of course, uh, because park is the is my favorite place that can, that we can do a lot of thing, for example, uh, camping or relaxing and meeting.

✓ Yes, of course. Parks are my favorite places because we can do a lot of things there, for example camping, relaxing, or meeting friends.

Errors: missing articles and number agreement. 'park is the is my favorite place' should be plural or specified with an article ('the park is my favorite place') depending on meaning; here plural generalization works better. 'a lot of thing' should be 'a lot of things'. Also add 'there' for location and parallel list items with commas. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements about parks, include articles when referring to a specific noun, and ensure countable nouns are plural when using 'a lot of'.

× Absolutely. Uh, because in my city they have a new park that, uh, famous in my city. So I wanna go there to see how it's different from the park that I always go.

✓ Absolutely. In my city there is a new park that is famous. I want to go there to see how it's different from the park I always go to.

Errors: incorrect word order and missing verb 'is' in 'that ... famous'. 'they have a new park' is awkward; use 'there is a new park' or 'my city has a new park'. 'wanna' is informal—use 'want to'. 'the park that I always go' needs the preposition 'to' at the end or rephrase. Suggestion: use 'there is' for existence, include linking verbs for adjectives, and include correct prepositions.

× Yes, I want to go to see the pub from others county uh because I think it's might be different and I can't learn any culture from other park so I wanna if I have.

✓ Yes, I want to go see parks in other counties because I think they might be different and I can learn about other cultures from those parks if I have the chance.

Errors: incorrect prepositions and nouns. 'go to see the pub from others county' is unclear: 'parks in other counties' fits context. 'it's might be' combines contractions incorrectly; use 'they might be'. 'I can't learn any culture from other park' should be 'I can learn about other cultures from those parks'. Final fragment 'so I wanna if I have' is incomplete; replace with 'if I have the chance'. Suggestion: use 'in other counties', pluralize nouns properly, use 'might' without 'it's', use 'learn about' for cultural learning, and complete conditional clauses.