Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn và ngắn gọn; tránh lặp từ và tiếng ngập (uh). Hãy mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, cung cấp lý do cụ thể hơn (kỷ niệm, hoạt động) và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Ví dụ: nêu thời điểm chính xác (khi còn nhỏ), tại sao thích (giảm căng thẳng, ngắm cảnh, chơi với bạn bè) và một chi tiết minh hoạ.

例: Yes, I did. When I was in seventh grade I often went to the park because it helped me relax and enjoy nature. For example, I used to sit by the pond and watch birds, which made me feel calm after school.

提案: Câu trả lời đúng hướng nhưng hơi lặp và nhiều tiếng ngập; cần dùng câu ngắn rõ ràng và dùng liên từ (for example, such as) để liệt kê hoạt động. Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể (khi nào, với ai, tần suất) để phong phú hơn.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often meet friends there on weekends to walk, jog or play games. For example, last Saturday we played football for an hour and then had coffee nearby.

提案: Ý chính rõ nhưng có lỗi ngữ pháp và từ sai ('line minded' nên 'like-minded'). Cần cấu trúc câu tốt hơn: phát biểu quan điểm, đưa lý do cụ thể và kết luận ngắn. Sử dụng linking words như 'because' hoặc 'so' để mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I would. I think having more parks would be beneficial because they provide space for people to meet and socialise. For instance, a new park could host weekend markets or exercise classes where like-minded people can connect.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu chính xác và có nhiều lỗi (ví dụ 'tomato parks', 'midnight minded' không rõ nghĩa). Cần nêu rõ tên địa điểm nếu biết, lý do cụ thể (loài động vật, hoạt động) và tránh tiếng ngập. Nếu không chắc tên hãy mô tả đặc điểm hấp dẫn của công viên.

例: Yes, there are several parks I want to visit. For example, I would like to visit a famous wildlife park in Vietnam to see native animals and join guided nature walks. I think it would be a great chance to learn about local wildlife and take photos.

× Yes, definitely I would like to go to the park, uh, when I was in the seventh because, uh, when I go to the park, I used to really stress and then see the view of the, uh, natural view.

✓ Yes, definitely. I liked going to the park when I was in seventh grade because when I went to the park I used to relax and enjoy the natural scenery.

The original mixes tenses incorrectly: 'would like to go' (present conditional) conflicts with 'when I was' (past). 'When I go to the park' uses present instead of past. 'Really stress' is incorrect verb choice and form; 'used to relax' fits habit in the past. Also 'natural view' is awkward; use 'natural scenery'. Suggest using consistent past tense for childhood habits and choose appropriate verbs (liked, went, used to relax).

× Yes, definitely. Uh, I really like to go into the park to meet some friends or going there to do some activities like uh, walking or doing things like uh, jogging, playing with friends in the park.

✓ Yes, definitely. I really like going to the park to meet friends or to do activities like walking, jogging, or playing with friends.

The sentence mixes infinitive and -ing forms inconsistently: 'like to go' and 'going there' should be unified. Use 'like going' or 'like to go' consistently. Also remove redundant words ('into', 'some') and streamline the list of activities. Use parallel structure for activities (walking, jogging, playing).

× Yes eventually the park in the in my cities are a lot and I want to see more of it because it have the space for me to meet line minded people and then make friends with them and also have some social activities there.

✓ Yes. Eventually there are many parks in my city and I want to see more of them because they have space for me to meet like-minded people, make friends, and take part in social activities there.

Problems: subject-verb agreement and singular/plural: 'the park in the in my cities are a lot' is incorrect. Use 'there are many parks in my city'. 'It have' should be 'they have' to match plural 'parks'. 'Line minded' is a wrong phrase; correct is 'like-minded'. Also use plural pronoun 'them' for 'parks'.

× Uh, yes, of course there are a lot of parks I would like to go in the future. For example, the, uh, tomato parks in Vietnam. I would like to go there because I want to see the animals and then, uh, have some spaces for midnight minded people and some activities there too.

✓ Yes, of course there are many parks I would like to visit in the future. For example, the botanical parks in Vietnam. I would like to go there because I want to see the animals and there are spaces for like-minded people and activities.

Use 'visit' instead of 'go' for places you plan to see in the future; 'go in the future' is awkward. 'Tomato parks' appears to be a miswording; likely 'botanical parks'. 'Have some spaces for midnight minded people' is unclear; change to 'there are spaces for like-minded people'. Keep tense consistent when speaking about future intentions ('I would like to visit').