Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural by using correct tense and a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one or two specific details. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, "because" and "so").

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were a place to play and meet friends. For example, we often played tag and football every Saturday, which helped me make close friends in my neighborhood. I especially enjoyed the swings and the picnic area where our families would gather.

提案: Use correct tense and a clear topic sentence ("Yes, I still enjoy going to parks"). Reduce repetition and provide a specific example or routine, using linking words like "because" and "for example."

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are a convenient place to relax and meet friends. For example, after school I usually play football with neighbors or sit on a bench and chat for an hour. These visits help me unwind and keep in touch with people in my community.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then explain with specific reasons and suggestions. Correct grammar ("there are few parks" not "less park") and avoid wordy repetition. Mention consequences or a specific improvement you want.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are currently very few green spaces nearby. As a result, people must travel far to relax, which is inconvenient. Building small pocket parks in residential areas would make it easier for families and children to enjoy outdoor activities.

提案: Answer directly and concisely, correct grammar and give a clear reason with a brief future plan if possible. Avoid fragmented sentences and redundancy; use linking words like "because" and "so".

例: Not at the moment, because I need to focus on my studies to get good grades. However, once exams are over I plan to visit new parks nearby to relax and catch up with friends.

× Yes, I like going to the park as a child because I can play and I have so many friends in my society so I can meet them all and we all can enjoy together.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park as a child because I could play and I had many friends in my neighborhood, so I could meet them all and we could all enjoy time together.

The student uses present tense when referring to past childhood activities. Change present verbs (like/ can/ have) to past tense (liked/ could/ had) to match the time frame 'as a child'. Also replace 'society' with 'neighborhood' for natural English and rephrase 'enjoy together' to 'enjoy time together' for clarity.

× We can go out and that's the thing that I love to go to the park as it has so much fun.

✓ We used to go out, and that's why I loved going to the park because it was so much fun.

The sentence mixes present forms with past meaning. Use past habitual 'used to' and past verbs ('loved', 'was') to refer to childhood. Also 'it has so much fun' is ungrammatical; use 'it was so much fun'.

× Yes, I still like going to the park as in my neighborhood there are many friends as to talk with them and after school we can play football or just chat.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park because there are many friends in my neighborhood to talk with, and after school we can play football or just chat.

The main issue is awkward connector and word order. 'As' used twice is incorrect; replace with 'because' for reason. Word order should be 'friends in my neighborhood' and 'to talk with them' becomes 'to talk with'. The present tense 'still like' is correct here because it refers to now.

× So I always had a great time and I spend time with my friends also.

✓ So I always had a great time and I spent time with my friends as well.

'Had' indicates past; therefore 'spend' must be past 'spent' to agree. Use 'as well' or 'also' at end for natural placement.

× Yes, I like to see more parks in my city as now in my city there is also less park so I can not find any park in my surrounding so I have to go very long to see and park and enjoying it.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are few parks now, so I cannot find any park in my surroundings and I have to travel a long way to visit a park and enjoy it.

Errors: 'less park' is incorrect—use 'few parks' (plural). 'Can not' should be 'cannot'. 'Surrounding' should be plural 'surroundings'. 'Go very long' is unidiomatic; use 'travel a long way'. Also fix verb forms and sentence flow.

× No, I have not decided any park to go to in the future as because I have to focus in my studies and.

✓ No, I have not decided on any park to go to in the future because I have to focus on my studies.

Remove extra 'as' and final stray conjunction. Use 'decided on' for the correct verb+preposition. Use 'focus on' not 'focus in'. The sentence ended abruptly; complete it properly.

× And I want to pass with a good grades so that I don't have any plan for the future for going to any park.

✓ I want to pass with good grades, so I don't have any plans to go to a park in the future.

Use plural 'grades' without 'a'. 'A good grades' is incorrect. 'Don't have any plan' should be 'don't have any plans'. Reorder 'for going to any park' to 'to go to a park' for correct infinitive form.