Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 시제 일관성이 필요합니다. 과거 경험을 말할 때는 과거형을 사용하고 문장을 간결하게 정리하세요. 또한 활동을 나열할 때 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 자연스럽게 만드세요. 예: 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 제한하고, 'because' 대신 'which'나 'so'로 간결히 연결하거나 이유와 감정을 분리해서 표현하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because I could spend time with my family. We often played games such as hide-and-seek and ran around, which was really fun.

提案: 표현을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 정리하세요. 콤마나 접속사를 사용해 문장을 연결하고 'refreshing' 같은 형용사는 올바른 형태로 사용하세요. 또한 반복적인 표현('I like')을 줄이고 구체적인 이유를 하나 또는 두 개로 압축하세요.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because walking there helps me relieve stress and feel refreshed. For that reason, I often spend time in parks after work.

提案: 응답에 더 명확한 구조를 주고 이유와 계획을 구분하세요. 반복되는 내용은 줄이고 'try to visit all' 같은 표현을 구체화하면 좋습니다. 또한 관사와 관용구 사용을 다듬으세요 ('a big city', 'I've visited many parks').

例: Yes, I would. I live in Seoul, which is a big city, and although I've visited many parks, there are still plenty I haven't seen. I actually plan to visit as many parks as I can in the coming months.

提案: 장소 설명을 더 정확하고 자연스럽게 표현하세요. 모호한 단어('Cote', 'grace field')를 정리하고 형용사의 중복을 피하세요. 이유(경치가 아름다워서 등)와 감정을 간단히 연결하고 문장 수는 2~3문장으로 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I'd love to visit a park I saw on YouTube in a place called Cote. It featured a large windmill and wide grassy fields, and the scenery looked very fresh and beautiful, so I'd like to see it in person.

× Yes, I like going to parks when I was a child because I could spend time with my family there and we played such as hide and seek running and it was fun.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because I could spend time with my family there and we played games such as hide-and-seek and tag; it was fun.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with past context 'when I was a child'; use past tense 'liked'. 'played such as hide and seek running' is incorrect word order and missing noun for the games; use 'played games such as hide-and-seek and tag'. Hyphenate compound noun 'hide-and-seek'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to link clauses for clarity.

× Yes, I still like it because when I go to parks I can take a walk at the same time I can relieve stress.

✓ Yes, I still like it because when I go to parks I can take a walk and at the same time relieve stress.

The original repeats 'I can' awkwardly; combine actions with 'and' and use base verb 'relieve' after 'can'. Tense remains present, so keep verbs in present simple.

× It helps me refreshing.

✓ It helps me feel refreshed.

'Helps me refreshing' incorrectly uses a gerund; after 'help' use the object plus past participle or the base verb: 'helps me feel refreshed' or 'helps refresh me'. This corrects form and meaning.

× So I usually spend time a lot in parks.

✓ So I usually spend a lot of time in parks.

Word order is incorrect; the quantifier phrase 'a lot of time' should come before the prepositional phrase 'in parks'. This produces a natural English sentence.

× Yes, because now I'm living in Seoul and it's quite big city.

✓ Yes, because now I'm living in Seoul and it's quite a big city.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'big city'. This is an article/pronoun-related error affecting noun phrase correctness.

× Even though I've visited a lot of parks, there are still so many parks I've never been to.

✓ Even though I've visited a lot of parks, there are still many parks I haven't been to.

Use present perfect negative 'haven't been to' for consistency. 'so many parks' is acceptable but 'many parks' is more natural with 'still'. This fixes tense and style.

× I really want to try to visit all the parks in Seoul.

✓ I really want to try to visit all the parks in Seoul.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; 'try to visit' is correct. No change needed.

× I want to go to a park in Cote.

✓ I want to go to a park in Cote.

Assuming 'Cote' is a place name, preposition 'in' is acceptable. No change needed; if intended 'Côte' (e.g., Côte d'Azur) spelling is different but that is not a grammar issue.

× I don't remember the name of the park but I watched a YouTube video about the place.

✓ I don't remember the name of the park, but I watched a YouTube video about the place.

Add a comma before 'but' to join two independent clauses. Tense usage is consistent: present for remembering, past for watching.

× There is a big windmill and big large grace field and it looked really fresh and the scenery was beautiful.

✓ There is a big windmill and a large grassy field; it looked very fresh and the scenery was beautiful.

'big large' is redundant; choose one adjective. 'grace field' is incorrect; likely 'grassy field'. Add article 'a' before 'large grassy field'. Use 'very' instead of 'really' for formality; maintain past tense 'looked' to match having watched the video.

× I want to see.

✓ I want to see it.

The verb 'see' needs an object here; add 'it' to refer to the place. This completes the sentence structure.