Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and pronunciation errors, avoid filler words, and add one specific detail (e.g., a memory or an animal) using a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My parents often took me there to explore the trees and watch birds, especially sparrows and kingfishers, which I found fascinating.

提案: Answer directly and avoid vague phrasing. Use one or two supporting details with linking words to explain why you miss parks and what you plan to do. Fix grammatical errors like 'appreciate their'.

例: Yes, I still like going to parks. However, I am very busy at the moment, so I miss the peace there; once my schedule eases, I plan to visit the lakeside area to relax and read.

提案: This answer is clear and relevant but can be improved by avoiding repetition and adding a consequence or specific suggestion. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and precise vocabulary like 'green spaces' or 'public parks'.

例: Absolutely. My city is dominated by tall buildings with limited green space, so I hope the local government will create more public parks to improve residents' quality of life.

提案: Be specific about which parks interest you and avoid repetition. Start with a direct response, give one concrete example (name or type of national park) and a reason using a linking word like 'because'.

例: Yes. As a busy high school senior I have little free time now, but in the future I would love to visit a nearby national park, such as a mountain reserve, because I enjoy hiking and observing wildlife.

× Yes, as a try I really love exploring na the nature and watching birds or different kinds of animals.

✓ Yes, as a child I really loved exploring nature and watching birds and different kinds of animals.

Problems: 'as a try' is incorrect phrase — should be 'as a child' for time reference; 'na the nature' contains extra letters and wrong article — use 'nature' without 'the'; tense should be past ('loved') because the question asks about childhood. Use 'and' instead of 'or' to list activities. Suggestion: use simple past for past habits and clean up collocations: 'as a child I really loved exploring nature and watching birds and different kinds of animals.'

× So occasionally my parents took me there to appreciate and teach me about animals and nature.

✓ So occasionally my parents took me there to appreciate and learn about animals and nature.

Problems: 'teach me about animals and nature' is grammatical but collocationally 'learn about' fits better when describing what the student gained; 'appreciate' is fine. Tense is correct (past). Suggestion: prefer 'learn about' to show the student's experience rather than parents' action teaching directly.

× I'll say yes, I really miss them and I really hope that this busy period would pass quickly so in the foreseeable future I can figure out which parts I would like to visit and appreciate their.

✓ I'd say yes; I really miss them and I hope this busy period will pass quickly, so in the foreseeable future I can figure out which parts I would like to visit and appreciate.

Problems: 'I'll say' is acceptable but 'I'd say' is more natural. 'Would pass' should be 'will pass' for a hopeful future event; mixing modals causes inconsistency. 'Appreciate their' is incorrect: 'their' is a pronoun without noun — remove it or use 'them' referring to 'parks.' Suggestion: keep consistent future modal 'will' for hope and use complete object 'appreciate them' or just 'appreciate.'

× Currently my city is dominated by tall buildings and other commercial facilities, so spaces for parks is really limited.

✓ Currently my city is dominated by tall buildings and other commercial facilities, so space for parks is really limited.

Problems: 'spaces for parks is' has subject-verb agreement error: 'spaces' plural requires 'are' but more natural is uncountable 'space' singular with 'is'. Also 'for parks' is acceptable, but 'space for parks' is the usual collocation. Suggestion: use 'space' (uncountable) to describe limited area: 'space for parks is really limited.'

× So I really hope that in the foreseeable future there will be more parks.

✓ So I really hope that in the foreseeable future there will be more parks.

Sentence is correct. 'There will be' construction is appropriate to express future existence; no changes needed.

× Actually, currently as a senior in high school, I don't have much spare time, so I really hope that in the foreseeable future I could figure out which which parks I would like to visit.

✓ Actually, as a senior in high school I don't have much spare time, so I really hope that in the foreseeable future I can figure out which parks I would like to visit.

Problems: 'could figure out' is inconsistent with present hope — use 'can' to express ability in the future; double 'which which' is a typo; 'currently' is redundant with 'as a senior' so removed for concision. Suggestion: use 'can' for future ability and remove duplicate word: 'I can figure out which parks I would like to visit.'

× And I think that a case in point, a National Park, is really interesting.

✓ And I think, for example, a national park would be really interesting to visit.

Problems: 'a case in point' is a formal idiom but awkward here; 'a National Park' capitalized unnecessarily — common noun should be lowercase 'national park' unless a specific name is given; sentence structure is slightly awkward. Suggestion: rephrase to 'for example, a national park would be really interesting to visit' to sound natural and match intent.