Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and avoid repetitions and pronunciation errors. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give two concise supporting details using linking words. Correct word choice (parks, worried→word unclear) and remove repeated words. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my mother, school friends, and my cousins, and we enjoyed playing on the swings and slides. After playing, we usually treated ourselves to ice cream, which made those visits very memorable.

提案: Organize the answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Remove fillers (umm) and redundant phrases. Use accurate collocations (ride bikes, cycle around) and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. On weekends my partner and I usually cycle around the park to see the river and the bridge, and we relax outdoors to enjoy the fresh air. Afterwards we often buy ice cream or a light snack and sit on a bench.

提案: Be concise and avoid hesitations. Give a clear stance and support it with one or two specific reasons, using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Correct word choice (parking→parks) and grammar (to enjoy→to enjoy).

例: No, I don't think we need more parks. Our city already has many parks on nearly every street, so people have easy access to green space. Because of that, adding more is not necessary right now.

提案: Be specific about which park and avoid vague phrases. Use correct terms (United States, national park?), avoid slang (wanna), and structure: state the park name, explain why you want to visit, and mention one planned activity. Keep to 2–3 clear sentences.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Yellowstone National Park in the United States because it is famous for its geysers and wildlife. I want to walk the trails, see the geothermal features, and share the experience with friends while trying local food at nearby towns.

× Yes I did. I worried. I went a lot of perks as a child with my mother and with some friends in the school as well.

✓ Yes, I did. I was excited. I went to a lot of parks as a child with my mother and with some friends from school.

The original contains incorrect verb use and word choice. 'I worried' is incorrect contextually; likely intended 'I was excited' or 'I enjoyed it'. 'Went a lot of perks' has wrong noun and missing preposition; correct is 'went to a lot of parks'. Also 'in the school' should be 'from school' or 'at school' depending on meaning. Use past simple consistently for past habits. Grammar_problem_type_id:5

× Also with my sister and cousins.

✓ I also went with my sister and cousins.

This fragment lacks a finite verb and subject structure. Adding 'I also went' completes the sentence and matches past tense used previously. Grammar_problem_type_id:26

× Wishes Wishes was really fun and then after going parks we usually ate ice creams and then that was really fun.

✓ It was really fun, and after going to parks we usually ate ice cream, which was enjoyable.

'Wishes Wishes' is unclear and likely a mispronunciation; replace with 'It was'. 'After going parks' needs preposition 'to'. 'Ice creams' is acceptable but 'ice cream' as an uncountable noun is more natural. The sentence was run-on; split and use relative clause for clarity. Grammar_problem_type_id:26

× Yes I do, I usually go to the parks on the weekends with my partner because we like to ride a bike song around the parks and see the river, the bridge and then just enjoy the fresh air in the parks and then just eat umm, some ice cream or any food.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually go to parks on the weekends with my partner because we like to ride a bike around the parks, see the river and the bridge, enjoy the fresh air, and then eat some ice cream or other food.

Overuse of the definite article 'the' is unnatural here; 'to parks' or 'to the park' depends on meaning. 'Ride a bike song' is incorrect; likely 'ride a bike' or 'go for a bike ride'. Removed repetitions and tightened phrasing. Use parallel structure for list of activities. Grammar_problem_type_id:17

× Umm no, in my city actually we have a lot of parks which is really nice because when you go out you can see parking every corner in every street.

✓ Umm no. Actually, in my city we have a lot of parks, which is really nice because when you go out you can see parks on every corner and street.

'See parking every corner' is incorrect; should be 'see parks on every corner'. 'Every corner in every street' is redundant; 'on every corner and street' is clearer. Also adjust article and word forms. Grammar_problem_type_id:14

× Sorry. Which is really good. Sorry. I don't think we need more because we have a lot of parks to enjoying in.

✓ Sorry. That is really good. I don't think we need more because we already have a lot of parks to enjoy.

Fragment 'Which is really good' should be 'That is really good'. 'A lot of parks to enjoying in' uses incorrect verb form and preposition; correct is 'parks to enjoy' or 'parks to enjoy in', but 'to enjoy' is preferable. Also remove redundant apologies. Grammar_problem_type_id:26

× Yes, I would like to go to United States uh, to have a principal uh, parking there, which is really popular and really nice.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to the United States to visit a famous park there, which is very popular and beautiful.

'To have a principal parking' is incorrect word choice; likely 'a principal park' or 'a famous park'. 'United States' requires the definite article 'the United States'. Use 'visit' rather than 'have' for going to a place. Adjust adjectives for natural English. Grammar_problem_type_id:4

× I love it. I wanna see go and walk around and see if I can buy some food or I wanna share with friends.

✓ I love it. I want to go and walk around, buy some food, and share it with friends.

Use formal 'want to' rather than colloquial 'wanna' in test responses. 'See go and walk around' is ungrammatical; restructure to 'go and walk around'. Combine actions with parallel infinitives: 'go and walk around, buy some food, and share it with friends.' This keeps tense and modality consistent. Grammar_problem_type_id:8