Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 句子结构不够清晰，有时态混用和重复词（like / liked, don't / didn't），并且句子较冗长。建议：1) 用正确的一致时态（过去式），2) 开始用一句话直接回答，然后用一到两句补充具体原因，3) 减少填充词如 uh, um。示例性练习：先说“Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child.” 然后补充原因和具体细节，例如父母重视学习导致机会少。

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. However, I didn’t have many chances to visit them because my father always encouraged me to study hard, so I spent most of my free time doing homework.

提案: 表达多处不自然（例如“came on going to parks”、“compared to the parks”），语法和搭配错误，句子冗长且逻辑不够连贯。建议：1) 直接回答并使用正确短语（I still enjoy going to parks），2) 用连接词（because, so）并给出具体例子（和朋友散步、野餐等），3) 控制长度不超过三到四句。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Since I now have more free time, I often go there with friends to walk or have a picnic, which helps me relax and enjoy the outdoors.

提案: 总体意思清楚但有重复（observe the nature closely / immerse myself in the nature），搭配稍有问题（observe nature, not observe the nature closely）。建议：1) 用更自然的词组（more parks, enjoy nature）, 2) 提供具体理由（exercise, clean air, family activities），3) 避免重复表达。

例: Yes, I would love more parks in my city because there are few green spaces in Zhuhai. More parks would give people places to exercise, breathe fresh air and spend time with family.

提案: 回答含糊且句子未完成（最后“and also hang out with.”缺少宾语），重复使用填充词，表达不够具体。建议：1) 明确列举想去的公园类型或具体活动（botanical gardens, national parks, hiking trails），2) 用一两句说明原因并给出例子，3) 避免重复词和口头禅。

例: Yes, I’d like to visit more botanical gardens and national parks in the future. Being surrounded by plants and trees improves my mood, and I also enjoy going there to walk, take photos and relax with friends.

× Yes, I like going to parks when I was a child, uh, but I don't, I didn't have lots of opportunities to go there because my father always asked me to, uh, study hard and work hard and focus on my studying and I lack of the chances to go there.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child, but I didn't have many opportunities to go because my father always asked me to study hard and focus on my studies, so I lacked the chance to go there.

问题类型：现在时态与过去时态混用（属于“Present tense issue”）。原句中“I like going to parks when I was a child”将现在时“like”与过去时间状语“when I was a child”搭配，时态不一致；之后还混用了“don't, I didn't”，不明确。建议把关于过去经历的动词都用一般过去时；改正细节：many 比较常用；focus on my studies 比 focus on my studying 更地道；lacked the chance 更符合表达。

× Yes, I came on going to parks. Now compared to the parks, I have more leisure times and have a more positive attitude towards the lifestyle. So I prefer to go out and have with my friends in the park and this can offer me some enjoyment and relaxation.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Compared to before, I now have more leisure time and a more positive attitude toward life. So I prefer to go out and spend time with my friends in the park, which gives me enjoyment and relaxation.

问题类型：句子结构错误（Sentence structure errors）。原句“came on going to parks”是不正确的短语；“compared to the parks”用法不当，应表达“相比以前”；“have more leisure times”中time不可数应为“leisure time”；“have with my friends”缺少动词，需用“spend time with”。建议使用常见搭配：enjoy going to parks, compared to before, leisure time, spend time with, which 引导定语从句。

× Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city and although there are not enough parks and gardens in Zhuhai, I prefer to hang out and observe the nature closely and it offers me fresh air and I can immerse myself in the nature.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city. Although there are not enough parks and gardens in Zhuhai, I like to hang out and observe nature closely; it offers me fresh air and allows me to immerse myself in nature.

问题类型：量词/不可数名词使用错误（Incorrect use of quantifiers）。原句中“observe the nature / in the nature”中 nature 为不可数名词，不需要定冠词“the”；此外句子太长、连接词使用不当。建议拆分句子，使用“observe nature”“immerse myself in nature”“allows me”更自然。

× Yes, there are many parks and gardens I want to go to in the future because uh, I'm a big fan of nature and uh, if I am surrounded by the nature, I feel I have a good mood and it can improve my, umm, daily moods and also hang out with.

✓ Yes, there are many parks and gardens I want to visit in the future because I'm a big fan of nature. If I am surrounded by nature, I feel in a good mood and it can improve my daily mood and give me someone to hang out with.

问题类型：介词使用错误（Incorrect use of prepositions）。原句“surrounded by the nature”不需要“the”；“have a good mood”常说“be in a good mood”；结尾“and also hang out with”缺少宾语，应补上“give me someone to hang out with”或改为“and I can hang out with friends”。建议：使用固定搭配 be in a good mood、surrounded by nature，并保证动词后有必要的宾语或用不及物结构完整表达。