Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сформулируйте предложение чётко и прямо, избегайте грамматических ошибок и лишних слов. Начните с основной мысли (например, «Yes, I liked going to parks because…»), затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных подробностей (с кем вы ходили и чем занимались). Используйте правильные формы глаголов и избегайте фраз типа «for I don't know».

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my parents often took me and my best friends for picnics. We played on the grass, fed ducks, and spent hours on the swings, which were my favourite part.

提案: Исправьте время и форму глаголов, используйте связку между предложениями и конкретизируйте, какие развлечения вы имеете в виду. Сформируйте одно главное предложение и одно-два уточняющих с связующими словами (e.g., "because", "and").

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go with my mom or my close friends because the parks have small attractions and playgrounds, which are my favourite places to relax in the city.

提案: Избегайте ошибок в словах (Paris вместо parks) и лишних пауз. Дайте прямой ответ, затем объяснение с конкретикой (например, где нужны парки и зачем). Используйте связующие слова: "although", "because", "for example".

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, although we already have many. For example, I think we need more small neighbourhood parks with benches and shaded areas so families and elderly people have comfortable places to rest.

提案: Дайте ясный и точный ответ, избегайте запинок и неясных фраз. Если говорите о конкретном месте, объясните почему и используйте правильную лексику (напомнить, Disneyland — тематический парк). Можно также сказать о планах или мечтах более структурированно.

例: Yes, in the future I would like to visit Disneyland because it is a famous theme park with many attractions and shows. I have always wanted to experience the rides and the parades with my family.

× I really liked going to the park with my parents, my best friends and I going now just for a walk for I don't know.

✓ I really liked going to the park with my parents and my best friends. Now we just go for a walk, I don't know why.

The original sentence has run-on structure, missing verbs and incorrect coordination. It combines past and present ideas without clear connectors. Split into two sentences: first states past habit (liked going) with a correct coordinate phrase 'my parents and my best friends'. Second expresses present action 'we just go for a walk' with a final comment 'I don't know why'. Suggestion: separate ideas into clear sentences, include appropriate verbs (go) and use conjunctions correctly.

× Yeah, I'm still going to parks. I going to park with my mom, with my best friends and we always have fun because we going to the attractions and it's my favorite part in the in the city.

✓ Yeah, I still go to parks. I go to the park with my mom and my best friends, and we always have fun because we go on the attractions. It's my favorite part of the city.

The speaker incorrectly uses continuous forms ('I'm still going', 'I going', 'we going') where simple present is required for habitual actions. Use simple present 'I still go', 'I go', 'we go' to describe regular habits. Also correct prepositions: 'go on the attractions' or better 'go on the rides', and article/phrase 'part of the city'. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and ensure correct article/preposition usage.

× Umm, yeah, I like to see more Paris in my city, but my city already has a a lot of parks and playground for people, for children, and it's, it's good.

✓ Umm, yeah, I'd like to see more parks in my city, but my city already has a lot of parks and playgrounds for people and children, and that's good.

The student used 'Paris' instead of 'parks' (likely mispronunciation) and incorrect article usage ('a a lot'). Also 'playground' should be plural if referring generally. Use 'I'd like' (conditional/future desire) or 'I would like to see more parks'. Remove duplicate article and add 'that's good' for clarity. Suggestion: choose correct noun 'parks', use 'a lot of' correctly and pluralize 'playgrounds' when general.

× Uh, when I grow up, I think maybe I will go, go to the Disneyland because it's my, uh, children's, uh. It's my children's meet time.

✓ Uh, when I grow up, I think maybe I will go to Disneyland because it's for children. It's my childhood dream.

The original has repetition 'go, go', incorrect article 'the Disneyland' (use 'Disneyland' without 'the'), and unclear phrase 'children's meet time'. Replace with 'for children' or better 'my childhood dream' to convey intent. Use simple future 'I will go' is acceptable. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary repetition, use correct proper noun form without 'the', and express idea clearly as 'childhood dream'.