Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with tense consistency, grammar and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words and correct grammar errors (e.g., “so do my sisters” → “so did my sisters”; “bring my roller skates with them” → “bring my roller skates”).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my family and brought my roller skates, and my sisters skated with me while we chased each other around. Because the weather was usually nice, it felt relaxing and helped me forget school worries.

提案: Reduce fillers (like “umm”) and keep tense consistent. Begin with a direct topic sentence (present tense), then add a specific reason and an example using a linking word such as “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks in my free time because walking outdoors clears my mind and reduces stress. For example, I usually visit a local green space on weekends to read or do light exercise, which helps my mental health.

提案: Correct vocabulary and article use (e.g., “parks” not “parts”; “there aren’t many parks”). Use a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or consequences, linked logically with words like “because” or “therefore.”

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because most areas are occupied by large buildings and factories. As a result, residents have few places to exercise or relax, which makes city life more stressful.

提案: Be precise and correct grammar (e.g., “They build” not “They builds”); avoid vague statements like “I feel like” repeatedly—use stronger verbs and give a specific park name or feature. Keep answer concise: topic sentence + one specific supporting detail and a brief reason.

例: Yes, I would love to visit the parks in Singapore, such as Gardens by the Bay, because they integrate modern architecture with lush greenery. For example, the Supertree Grove combines art, technology and plants, which I find fascinating.

× I often go to the park with my family and I would bring my roller skates with them.

✓ I often went to the park with my family and I would bring my roller skates with me.

The speaker is talking about childhood (past) so use past tense 'went' rather than present 'go'. Also 'bring' with 'them' is incorrect because the object 'roller skates' belongs to the speaker; use the pronoun 'me'. The error types are past participle/past tense usage and incorrect pronoun. Suggestion: match tense to context (use past for past habits) and choose correct object pronoun ('me').

× So does my sisters and we would skate around, just play, maybe chase each other around.

✓ So did my sisters and we would skate around, just play, maybe chase each other around.

When describing past habitual actions, use the past auxiliary 'did' rather than 'does'. 'Sisters' is plural so auxiliary must be past form 'did'. Alternatively rewrite 'My sisters and I used to skate around...'. Suggestion: use past auxiliary 'did' or 'used to' for past habits and use subject pronoun order 'my sisters and I'.

× And the weather, if the weather is great then it's really relaxing.

✓ And when the weather was great, it was really relaxing.

Context refers to past experiences, so present tense 'is' and 'it's' should be past 'was'. Use 'when' for conditional time clauses referring to habitual past. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) when speaking about past experiences.

× It takes our mind off.

✓ It takes our minds off things.

The idiom is 'take someone's mind off something' and requires plural 'minds' for 'our' and an object 'things' or the activity. Original sentence misses object and uses singular 'mind'. Suggestion: use full idiom 'take our minds off things' to convey meaning.

× Yes, I do UMM and I would like to go to the park every time I have spare time.

✓ Yes, I do. Um, I would like to go to the park whenever I have spare time.

'Every time I have spare time' is awkward; 'whenever' is more natural. Also punctuation and filler 'umm' should be separated. Tense 'would like' is fine. Suggestion: use 'whenever' for habitual future/possibility and separate fillers with pauses.

× Before I used to go to the park every weekend with my family and I want to continue doing that because I feel like it's good for my mental health.

✓ Before, I used to go to the park every weekend with my family and I wanted to continue doing that because I felt it was good for my mental health.

The sentence mixes past ('used to') with present 'want' and 'feel'. If referring to past desire, keep past tense 'wanted' and 'felt'. If speaker means present desire, keep present but then 'Before I used to go...' remains past; better: 'I used to go... and I want to continue' is acceptable if meaning continues. Clarify intended time frame. Suggestion: decide whether referring to past or present and make tenses consistent.

× there aren't many parts in my hometown because most of the places are big buildings and factories and industries so there isn't a lot of parks.

✓ There aren't many parks in my hometown because most of the places are big buildings, factories, and industries, so there aren't a lot of parks.

'Parts' is incorrect; should be 'parks'. Also 'there isn't a lot of parks' mixes singular verb with plural noun; use 'there aren't a lot of parks' or 'there aren't many parks'. Suggestion: use correct noun 'parks' and match verb number with plural ('aren't').

× Yes I do, and one of the famous parks in the neighboring countries is in Singapore.

✓ Yes I do, and one of the famous parks in the neighboring countries is in Singapore.

This sentence is acceptable grammatically but could be clearer: 'one of the famous parks in the neighboring countries is in Singapore' is awkward because 'one of the neighboring countries' would be better. However this does not strictly match listed error types beyond phrasing. Suggestion: use 'one of the neighboring countries, Singapore' or 'one of the famous parks in a neighboring country is in Singapore.'

× They builds their buildings together with nature.

✓ They build their buildings together with nature.

Subject-verb agreement error: with plural subject 'they' the verb should be 'build' not 'builds'. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject (they + base verb).

× So I feel like the parks in Singapore would be a great place to go.

✓ So I feel like the parks in Singapore would be great places to go.

'Parks' is plural so 'a great place' should be plural 'great places'. Also 'would be' is acceptable as speculative; keep 'feel' present. Suggestion: match noun number and article: plural noun needs plural complement.