Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần rõ ràng và mạch lạc hơn: trả lời trực tiếp bằng một câu chủ đề, sau đó cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể. Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp về thì (quá khứ), sử dụng đại từ phù hợp và câu ngắn gọn. Ví dụ: 'Yes, I loved going to the park when I was a child. I often played football with my friends and had picnics with my family.'

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often played football with my friends and sometimes we had picnics with my parents, which were always fun and relaxing.

提案: Trả lời cần rõ ràng: nêu tình trạng hiện tại và tương lai tách biệt bằng liên từ thích hợp (but, because, however). Sử dụng thì hiện tại đơn/hiện tại tiếp diễn cho hiện tại và tương lai đơn cho kế hoạch tương lai. Tránh câu dài lủng củng. Ví dụ: 'Not much now because I am in my final year and busy studying, but I plan to visit parks more after graduation.'

例: Not really at the moment because I am in my final year and very busy studying. However, after I graduate I plan to visit parks more often to relax and exercise.

提案: Cần diễn đạt ý rõ ràng và cụ thể: nêu lý do tại sao muốn thêm công viên (ví dụ: sức khỏe, không gian xanh, cho trẻ em). Sử dụng từ vựng phù hợp (children’s playgrounds, green spaces, fresh air) và tránh từ lặp. Giữ 2–3 câu ngắn gọn. Ví dụ: 'Yes, I would. More parks would provide green spaces for exercise and safe playgrounds for children.'

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide green spaces for exercise and safe playgrounds for children. Parks also improve air quality and make the city more pleasant.

提案: Cần nói rõ tên địa điểm nếu có (hoặc mô tả cụ thể) và lý do muốn đến đó. Tránh mô tả lộn xộn và sai từ (wind plane, footwork island không rõ nghĩa). Dùng một câu chủ đề và một câu giải thích chi tiết. Ví dụ: 'I want to visit a large theme park on an island because it has many attractions and activities for families.'

例: Yes, I would like to visit a large theme park on an island in the future because it has many attractions and family activities. For now I am focusing on my studies, but I hope to go there with my parents after I graduate.

× Yeah, I have a park when I was a child, so we're not a child.

✓ Yes, I used to have a park near my home when I was a child.

The original sentence mixes tenses and has incorrect structure ('I have a park' and 'we're not a child'). Use 'used to' to indicate past habitual situation and keep past time reference consistent. 'Near my home' clarifies possession of a nearby park.

× I will go to Parkway with friends, play sport or many activities when I was child and play time with my parents.

✓ I used to go to the park with friends to play sports and do many activities when I was a child, and I also spent playtime with my parents.

The sentence mixes future 'will' with past 'when I was child'. Use past tense ('used to', 'spent') for past habits and correct noun forms ('park', 'sports'). 'When I was a child' needs the article 'a'.

× So it is, Remember, I can't work, forget that.

✓ I remember that I could not work then, so I could just play and relax.

Original is unclear and mixes commands and tenses. Replace 'can't' with past 'could not' to describe inability in the past, and restructure to a coherent statement.

× No, now in my final year and I tend to go to park because so I spend more time for us doing homework or studying so I can go to park but in my future when I graduation so I will go to park to play.

✓ No, now I am in my final year and I tend not to go to the park because I spend more time doing homework and studying. In the future, when I graduate, I will go to parks to play.

Use present continuous ('I am in my final year') and present simple/continuous appropriately. 'Tend not to' expresses current habit. 'When I graduate' is the correct future time clause; use 'parks' or 'the park' consistently and correct verb forms.

× Yes, I like because so, uh, around my city is so quiet and I want to have a lot of park, have a children to fly.

✓ Yes, I do, because my city is quite quiet and I want to have many parks and places for children to play.

Use 'many' with countable nouns ('parks'), not 'a lot of park'. 'Children' does not need 'a' and 'to fly' is incorrect for playing; use 'to play' or 'play areas'.

× It's my fresh, fresh environment and so it make my city is funny.

✓ It would make the environment fresher and make my city more enjoyable.

'Fresh, fresh' is redundant; use comparative 'fresher' and use 'more enjoyable' instead of 'funny' which means humorous. Also correct verb agreement: 'it makes' or 'it would make'.

× Yeah, I want to go the wind plane in the footwork island, so the car is very beautiful and large, have a lot of activity about Disney or train station.

✓ Yes, I want to visit Wind Plane on Footwork Island; the area is very beautiful and large and has many attractions like Disney-themed activities and a train station.

Original has many noun errors and lacks articles. Use 'visit' for going to a place, capitalize proper names if applicable, and use 'has many attractions' to describe features. 'Car' was likely 'area' or 'park'.

× But now I want to focus my study and everything in my future, when I graduation, I will go to that and play with my parents.

✓ But now I want to focus on my studies, and in the future, when I graduate, I will go there and play with my parents.

Use 'focus on my studies' (plural) and 'when I graduate' (correct verb form for future time clause). Use 'there' rather than 'that' to refer to a place.