Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid tense errors and unnecessary phrasing. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") correctly.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child because my home was next to one. I would often play there with neighborhood friends after school, which helped me make close friendships and stay active.

提案: Correct verb tenses and unclear phrases, and be concise. Use linking words like "now" and "instead" properly. Replace unclear words (e.g., "mayday") with precise vocabulary (e.g., "my day" or "daily problems"). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks. Now I usually sit on a bench to relax and reflect on my day, which helps calm my nerves before I go home.

提案: Make the reason clear and avoid repetition. Use correct collocations ("green spaces" or "eco-friendly spaces") and grammar. Provide one specific benefit and link it logically with "because" or "as a result." Keep it concise.

例: Yes, I would. More green spaces in the city would give people places to relax and exercise, which could improve public health and community life.

提案: Be specific and correct grammar. Name the park clearly (if unknown, say "a park in Japan") and use correct verbs and prepositions. Give one concise reason with a linking phrase like "because" or "for example."

例: Yes, I would love to visit a famous park in Japan in the future because Japanese gardens are beautifully designed and offer quiet places where both children and adults can relax after work.

× Yes, I really like going to the park. My childhood home was near a park, so whenever I'm not home my family would expect me to be at the park playing with my friends.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to the park. My childhood home was near a park, so whenever I was not home my family expected me to be at the park playing with my friends.

The response mixes present tense with past events. The question asks about childhood, so past tense should be used. Change 'like' to 'liked', 'I'm' to 'I was', and 'would expect' to 'expected' to keep past-time consistency and correct sequence of tenses. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs when describing habitual actions in the past (e.g., 'I liked', 'my family expected').

× Yes, I still like going to the park but instead of playing as I did when I was a child, I would sit on a bench or a swing and try to relax and think about mayday which helps me calm my nerve before going home.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park but instead of playing as I did when I was a child, I usually sit on a bench or a swing and try to relax and think about my day which helps me calm my nerves before going home.

Using 'would sit' implies repeated past action; here the contrast is between past childhood habits and current habits, so a present simple habit 'usually sit' is appropriate. 'Mayday' is a typo and should be 'my day'. 'Calm my nerve' is unidiomatic; use plural 'nerves'. Suggestion: Use present simple (usually/always) for current habitual actions and correct vocabulary errors ('my day', 'nerves').

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because compared to other countries where eco spaces are being motivation for people to relax, I feel like the parks the increase of parks would help the people in my city too.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because, compared to other countries where eco spaces motivate people to relax, I feel an increase in parks would help the people in my city too.

The original sentence has awkward and redundant phrasing ('the parks the increase of parks') and incorrect verb forms ('are being motivation'). Use a clear comparative clause: 'eco spaces motivate people'. Replace redundant phrase with 'an increase in parks'. Suggestion: Simplify and reorder the sentence: use active verbs ('motivate') and concise noun phrases ('an increase in parks').

× Yes, the IT is a park I want to go to in the future and it's in Japan.

✓ Yes, the IT Park is a park I want to go to in the future and it's in Japan.

The original 'the IT' is missing the noun; likely the name is 'IT Park'. Use the full proper name and capitalize appropriately. If 'IT' is part of the name, include 'Park' to make the meaning clear. Also keep article 'the' only if part of official name or not needed: here 'the IT Park' is acceptable if that is the known name. Suggestion: Use the complete proper noun for places (e.g., 'IT Park') and adjust the article accordingly.

× Japan parks are so beautiful and relaxing and accommodates to not just children but also adults that want to spend relaxing time after work.

✓ Japanese parks are so beautiful and relaxing and accommodate not just children but also adults who want to spend relaxing time after work.

Use adjective form 'Japanese' to modify 'parks'. 'Accommodates to' is incorrect; use the verb 'accommodate' followed by the object. Also use 'who' for people, not 'that'. Maintain subject-verb agreement: 'parks ... accommodate'. Suggestion: Use correct adjective forms (Japanese), correct verb patterns (accommodate + object), and relative pronoun 'who' for people.