Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời cần rõ ràng hơn và có cấu trúc: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trả lời trực tiếp, sau đó thêm 1–2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: hoạt động bạn làm ở công viên, kỷ niệm). Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp nhỏ (ví dụ: “it is” → “I did”) và giới hạn độ dài tối đa khoảng 3 câu.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played on the swings and had picnics with my family, which made me feel relaxed and happy. Those visits are some of my fondest childhood memories.

提案: Câu trả lời hiện tại thiếu rõ ràng, nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không phù hợp. Trả lời nên bắt đầu trực tiếp (“Yes, I still enjoy...”), giải thích lý do cụ thể và dùng liên từ để nối ý. Tránh câu lủng củng và từ sai (ví dụ “bash”, “bus” không phù hợp).

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go with my friends to exercise or have a chat, which helps me relax after a busy day. We sometimes bring snacks and walk around the lake.

提案: Câu trả lời rất không rõ ràng và có nhiều từ sai (ví dụ “Porsche”, “past”). Nên trả lời trực tiếp (Yes/No + lý do), cung cấp lý do cụ thể và một ví dụ về loại công viên bạn muốn. Sử dụng liên từ để kết nối ý và tránh tiếng lòng vòng.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and improve air quality. For example, new neighborhood parks with playgrounds and benches would give families a safe place to relax.

提案: Câu trả lời không truyền đạt được ý định. Trả lời nên bắt đầu rõ ràng (“Yes, I would like to visit...”), nêu tên hoặc loại công viên cụ thể, giải thích lý do và kế hoạch (khi nào, với ai). Tránh tiếng ừ à, ngắt quãng và lỗi từ vựng gây hiểu nhầm.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the central botanical garden in the future because it looks peaceful and has many interesting plants. I hope to go there next spring with my partner to take photos and enjoy a quiet walk.

× Yes, it is because when I go to the park I feel very relaxing and comfortable.

✓ Yes, it is because when I go to the park I feel very relaxed and comfortable.

The adjective 'relaxing' describes something that causes relaxation; we need 'relaxed' to describe the speaker's feeling. Change 'relaxing' to 'relaxed'. ID:6

× Nowadays I still go to the bash because I go to the bus, so that is of sad idea with my friends and share is story in of miles today.

✓ Nowadays I still go to the park because I take the bus; I meet my friends and we share stories together.

The original sentence has multiple structure and word choice errors ('bash' -> 'park', 'go to the bus' -> 'take the bus', 'that is of sad idea' unclear, 'share is story in of miles' incorrect). Reconstruct the sentence into clear clauses with correct verbs and pronouns. ID:26

× Yes, I like to see Porsche in my city. Uh, but nowadays, uh, past is reflects the buildings and factories, uh, so I don't umm.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. But nowadays many open spaces have been replaced by buildings and factories, so I don't see many parks.

'Porsche' is incorrect word; likely intended 'parks' or 'more parks'. 'Past is reflects' is ungrammatical. Rephrase using passive 'have been replaced' to convey that parks disappeared due to development, and use clear subject and verbs. ID:26

× I went to the past in the future as he, uh, brought in and, uh, peaceful, umm, and attractive stirring dishes and pupils. So that's pupils is very.

✓ I would like to go to a peaceful and attractive park in the future because it would be relaxing and pleasant.

The original sentence mixes past and future tenses and contains many incorrect words ('past' should be 'park', 'brought in' unclear, 'stirring dishes and pupils' meaningless). Use conditional 'would like to' for future preference and adjectives 'peaceful' and 'attractive' to describe the park; 'relaxing' or 'pleasant' to describe the experience. ID:5