Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: حاول تحسين استخدام الأزمنة وقواعد المفرد والجمع، وابدأ بجملة واضحة تجيب مباشرة ثم أضف تفاصيل مختصرة مترابطة باستخدام روابط مثل "because" أو "so". تجنّب التكرار وصِغ الجمل بشكل طبيعي أكثر (مثلاً استخدام الماضي البسيط للأحداث الماضية).

例: Yes, I did. I often went to parks with my uncles and cousins because we enjoyed playing and running together. Those visits were fun and memorable, especially when we had picnics and games.

提案: ركز على تركيب الجملة وصياغة السبب بشكل واضح مع كلمات ربط مثل "because" و"so"، واستخدم صيغ صحيحة للأفعال (to feel, to chat). اجعل الإجابة أقصر وأكثر مباشرة (لا تزيد عن 4-5 جمل).

例: Yes, I do. I try to visit a park once a week because it helps me feel refreshed and improves my mood. I usually go with friends or family so we can walk and chat together.

提案: تجنب التردّد (مثل "uh") واصغِ جملة موضوع واضحة، اذكر أسباب محددة باستخدام روابط مثل "because" أو "so". صحّح المفرد والجمع (park, things) واجعل الحجج موجزة ومنطقية. اشرح كيف تفيد الناس والحكومة بشكل واضح.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would be beneficial because they provide green spaces where people can relax away from crowded areas. This would also improve public health and make the city more attractive.

提案: ابدأ بجملة إجابة واضحة ثم أصف الحديقة بمصطلحات محددة ومرتّبة بدون تكرار. استخدم روابط لتوضيح السبب (for example, because) واصغِ الجمل بصيغة طبيعية ومتسلسلة. راجع قواعد الجمع والترتيب (different-colored flowers).

例: Yes, I would. I saw a beautiful park in Vietnam on YouTube that I want to visit because it has huge gardens and many colorful, uniquely shaped flowers. It looks peaceful and perfect for spending a relaxing day.

× Yes, I do. When I was a child I visit with my family such as uncles and their kids.

✓ Yes, I did. When I was a child I visited parks with my family, such as my uncles and their children.

The student mixed present tense 'do' and present verb 'visit' with a past time reference 'When I was a child'. Change to past tense 'did' and 'visited' for consistency; also correct plural and possessive forms: 'parks' and 'my uncles' and 'their children'. Suggestions: use past tense for past experiences and ensure possessive adjectives are included.

× I visit to park where we have an entertainment time there and we spend a wonderful time there playing, running and inside the parks.

✓ I visited parks where we had entertainment and spent wonderful time playing and running in the parks.

The original uses incorrect infinitive phrase 'visit to park' and inconsistent tenses. Use past simple 'visited' and 'had' to match past context. Remove redundant words ('there') and use correct preposition 'in' with 'parks'. Suggestions: avoid 'visit to'; use 'visit' or 'visited' + object, and place activities after 'spent time' correctly.

× So.

✓ That's all.

A single conjunction 'So.' is incomplete and does not form a full response. Replace with a brief complete closing phrase like 'That's all.' or omit it. Suggestions: avoid leaving sentence fragments; use full sentences.

× Yes I do, I try to visit park or garden once a week because it helps me to feeling refresh and change my mood.

✓ Yes, I do. I try to visit a park or a garden once a week because it helps me feel refreshed and lifts my mood.

Tense and form issues: 'try' present is fine, but use articles 'a park' and 'a garden'. 'helps me to feeling refresh' is incorrect—use 'helps me feel refreshed'. 'Change my mood' is better as 'lifts my mood'. Suggestions: use correct article usage and adjective/adverb forms ('refreshed' as adjective) and omit unnecessary 'to' before gerund.

× I like to visit there with my friends and or family to chatting while we are walking or.

✓ I like to visit with my friends or family to chat while we are walking.

The phrase 'and or' is incorrect; choose 'or' for alternatives. 'To chatting' is wrong; use infinitive 'to chat' or gerund 'chat' after 'like'. The trailing 'or.' is incomplete. Suggestions: use 'or' not 'and/or' in spoken responses and use correct verb form after 'to'.

× Yes, I would, uh, it is very interesting things and nice for your eyes to see a bark in your, uh, hometown where you find the crowded place you can change to the another place.

✓ Yes, I would. Uh, it is very interesting and nice for your eyes to see a park in your hometown; when you find a crowded place you can move to another place.

Multiple article and word choice errors: 'things' unnecessary, 'bark' is wrong spelling of 'park'. Use 'a park' and 'your hometown' without extra commas. 'the crowded place' should be 'a crowded place' and 'change to the another place' should be 'move to another place'. Suggestions: choose correct vocabulary ('park'), use articles appropriately ('a' vs 'the'), and simplify sentence structure.

× So this uh, things will be a positive things to the government.

✓ So these things will be positive for the government.

'This uh, things' mixes singular demonstrative 'this' with plural noun 'things'; use 'these things'. Remove duplicate 'a' and plural 'things'. Use 'positive for the government' not 'to the government'. Suggestions: match demonstrative pronoun number with noun and use correct preposition 'for'.

× Yes, of course. One day I saw in the YouTube a wonderful park that's located in Vietnam.

✓ Yes, of course. One day I saw on YouTube a wonderful park located in Vietnam.

Use preposition 'on' with 'YouTube' not 'in'. 'That's located' can be simplified to 'located'. Maintain past tense 'saw'. Suggestions: use 'on YouTube' and avoid unnecessary 'that's'.

× It is a very unique, it has a lot of flowers with different colors, with different shapes and it is very big and it you can go there and spend a wonderful time there.

✓ It is very unique; it has many flowers of different colors and shapes, it is very large, and you can go there and have a wonderful time.

Redundancy and awkward phrasing: 'a very unique'—'unique' is absolute; use 'very' sparingly but acceptable in speech; better 'truly unique' or 'very special'. 'A lot of' can be replaced with 'many'. Use 'of different colors and shapes' and 'large' instead of 'big' for variety. Remove repeated 'there' and correct clause connections. Suggestions: avoid repeating words, use parallel structure, and choose precise modifiers.