Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Usa respuestas más concisas y naturales, evita muletillas como "you know" y la repetición. Empieza con una oración clara que responda directamente, luego añade uno o dos detalles específicos (dónde, qué jugabas, con quién) usando conectores breves para mayor fluidez.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. After school I often played football with my classmates in the park near my house, which was a great way to relax and socialise before going home.

提案: Mantén la respuesta directa y reduce muletillas. Usa un tema inicial claro y añade un motivo concreto o ejemplo, usando conectores como "because" o "so" para unir ideas y mostrar causa y efecto.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. After work I often walk in a nearby park because the fresh air helps me clear my mind and unwind from the day.

提案: Evita vacilaciones y organiza la respuesta: afirmación + razón concreta + ejemplo. Corrige vocabulario: use "natural areas" or "green spaces" en lugar de "naturals". Incluye un contraste claro entre países con un conector como "whereas" o "unlike".

例: Yes, definitely. My city lacks green spaces, so I would welcome more parks. For example, unlike Australia where almost every suburb has a park, here you often need to travel far to find natural areas.

提案: Sea más específico y conciso: nombre el parque, diga por qué quiere ir y qué planea hacer allí. Use conectores como "because" y palabras precisas (landscapes → scenery). Evite frases redundantes y limite a 3–4 oraciones como máximo.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Blue Mountains National Park because of its dramatic scenery. I plan to go hiking there with friends to enjoy the views and relax in nature.

× Yes, I did, because every time after classes, I think it was a really good way just to finish your day when you can go to a park and, you know, just play with your friends and play with them.

✓ Yes, I did, because every time after classes, I thought it was a really good way to end your day when you could go to a park and play with your friends.

The student mixes past and present verbs: 'I think' and 'you can' conflict with 'Yes, I did' and 'it was'. Use past tense consistently ('thought', 'could') to match the past reference. Also simplify redundancy ('play with your friends' instead of repeating). Suggestions: maintain consistent past tense in reminiscing (use 'thought', 'could', 'went').

× Yes, I do. Usually, you know, after work you can just go to a park and feel like relax, feel the wind on your face and just, you know, just try to think clear about all your thoughts.

✓ Yes, I do. Usually, after work you can just go to a park and feel relaxed, feel the wind on your face and try to think clearly about your thoughts.

Misuse of adjective/adverb forms: 'feel like relax' should be 'feel relaxed' (adjective describing state) and 'think clear' should be 'think clearly' (adverb modifies the verb). Also redundant 'you know' removed. Suggestions: use adjectives for states and adverbs for actions (relaxed, clearly).

× And yeah, I think it's really relaxing.

✓ And yeah, I think it's really relaxing.

This sentence is correct grammatically; 'relaxing' as an adjective correctly describes the experience. No change needed. Explanation: 'relaxing' is the present participle used adjectivally to describe something that causes relaxation.

× Yeah, definitely, because in Chile we don't have many, uh, naturals, uh, places.

✓ Yeah, definitely, because in Chile we don't have many natural places.

'Naturals places' is incorrect word order and form. Use the adjective 'natural' before noun 'places'. Remove filler sounds. Suggestion: place adjectives before nouns and use correct adjective form ('natural places').

× For example, I was living in Australia and they have every, in every suburb, umm, a park.

✓ For example, I lived in Australia and there is a park in almost every suburb.

Use simple past 'I lived' for a completed period rather than past continuous 'I was living' which implies ongoing. Also improve subject-verb agreement and natural phrasing: 'there is a park in almost every suburb' fits general present fact in Australia. Suggestion: use 'lived' for past residence and 'there is/are' for general present facts.

× So you can just go and feel relaxed.

✓ So you can just go and feel relaxed.

This sentence is acceptable; 'can' correctly expresses ability/possibility. No grammatical change needed. Suggestion: keep 'can' for general possibility.

× But in Chile you have to go really far away from your city.

✓ But in Chile you have to go really far from your city.

'Far away from your city' is understandable but wordy. 'Far from your city' is more natural; tense/modal usage 'have to' correctly expresses necessity. Suggestion: prefer concise prepositional phrases ('far from').

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

Question is grammatically correct. No change needed. Explanation: 'want to go to' and 'in the future' appropriately express future intention.

× Well, I will say yes because there are many options that you can explore.

✓ Well, I would say yes because there are many options you can explore.

'I will say yes' sounds unnatural; 'I would say yes' is a more polite/modal expression for giving an opinion. Use 'you can explore' or simply 'you can explore'—removed unnecessary 'that'. Suggestion: use 'would' for tentative opinions.

× For example, here in Australia there is one National Park called Blue Mountains and I think it's really beautiful.

✓ For example, here in Australia there is a national park called the Blue Mountains and I think it's really beautiful.

Use lowercase 'national park' unless part of a proper name; 'the Blue Mountains' requires the definite article because it's a specific place name. Suggestion: use 'the' before established geographic names ('the Blue Mountains').

× It's stunning all the landscape that you can see there and you can also feel so relaxed and do some hiking.

✓ The landscape you can see there is stunning, and you can also feel very relaxed and do some hiking.

Sentence structure awkward; 'It's stunning all the landscape' is incorrect order. Better to make 'the landscape ... is stunning'. Replace 'so relaxed' with 'very relaxed' for formality. Suggestions: put subject before verb and use appropriate adverb ('very') for emphasis.

× Enjoy with your friends.

✓ You can enjoy it with your friends.

Imperative 'Enjoy with your friends' is fragmentary and lacks object reference. Adding 'You can enjoy it with your friends' completes the sentence and clarifies the object ('it' refers to the park/hiking). Suggestion: ensure sentences have a clear subject and object when needed.