Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/word errors (e.g., 'when I was a child', 'I liked', 'near my nearest park' -> 'the park near my home').

例: When I was a child, I loved going to the park near my home. I often went there with friends to play football and tennis, and I also spent quiet afternoons with my grandparents in the garden.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then one or two specific reasons. Use correct linking words and fix grammar and unclear phrases ('too much suppress' unclear). Avoid trailing off—complete your thoughts. Use present simple for habits.

例: I don't go as often now because I have a heavy workload and study commitments. However, when I have free time I usually visit the nearest park to relax and spend quality time with family, because being in nature helps me reduce stress.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: say yes or no, then give specific reasons with proper grammar and linking words. Avoid vague statements and repetition. Use concrete benefits (health, recreation, environment) and correct singular/plural forms.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because they provide safe places for exercise and relaxation. In addition, more green spaces improve air quality and make neighborhoods more attractive for families and young people.

提案: Be specific and polite. Start with the park name and one reason you want to visit. Correct grammar and inappropriate/incorrect words ('my move most favorite', 'tough free time', 'love sperm' are wrong) and keep it to two or three sentences.

例: My favorite park I want to visit is the Rose Garden in Chandigarh because of its beautiful flower displays and peaceful paths. If I have free time in the future, I would like to go there with my family to enjoy a relaxing day together.

× Yes, when I was child, I like to go to near my nearest park with my friends and with my family members because I like to play there with my friends, because there are lots of like lots of activities and games like football, tennis and the other type of games which I like to play with my friends at that time.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I liked to go to the nearest park with my friends and family because I liked to play there; there were many activities and games like football and tennis that I enjoyed playing with my friends at that time.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses. The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense should be used (liked, were). Use 'a child' (article) and 'the nearest park' (definite article). Remove redundant phrases ('like lots of') and simplify for clarity. Suggestions: keep consistent past tense for past events and use articles correctly.

× Well, according to me nowadays I have lots of work and I have lots of study pressure, so that's why I don't have too much time to go to parks.

✓ Well, nowadays I have a lot of work and study pressure, so I don't have much time to go to parks.

'According to me' is not natural English; use 'I' or 'in my opinion' if needed. Use 'a lot of' or 'much' instead of 'lots of' with uncountable nouns in negative sentences. Remove redundant 'that's why'. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('have a lot of work', 'much time').

× But whenever I get a spare time, I go there with my family members and friends to spend quality time with them at there.

✓ But whenever I get spare time, I go there with my family and friends to spend quality time together.

'A spare time' is incorrect; use 'spare time' without article. 'Family members' is wordy; 'family' suffices. 'At there' is wrong; use 'there' or 'together'. Place adverb 'together' after the verb phrase. Suggestions: remove unnecessary words and correct adverb/preposition usage.

× And whenever I go too much suppress and I also prefer to go in nearest park because whenever I connect with nature, I feel very.

✓ Whenever I feel very stressed, I prefer to go to the nearest park because when I connect with nature, I feel much better.

Original has incorrect words ('suppress') and incomplete clause ('I feel very.'). Use present tense for habitual actions (prefer). Use 'stressed' not 'suppress', 'to the nearest park' with preposition 'to' and article 'the'. Complete the final clause ('feel much better'). Suggestions: choose correct vocabulary and complete ideas; keep consistent present tense for habits.

× A nowadays government develop lot of things and they will make lots of new parks for the individuals and youngsters.

✓ Nowadays the government is developing many things and will create many new parks for individuals and young people.

Use present continuous 'is developing' for ongoing actions. 'A nowadays government' is incorrect word order and article usage. 'Lots of' can be replaced with 'many' for formal speech. 'Youngsters' is informal; 'young people' is better. Suggestions: fix article and word order, use appropriate tense for ongoing actions.

× Because it is very important to have a beautiful parks in the city and it is also symbol of symbol of development.

✓ Because it is very important to have beautiful parks in the city and they are also a symbol of development.

Use plural 'parks' without 'a' and match verb 'they are'. 'Symbol of symbol of' is redundant; use 'a symbol of development'. Suggestions: ensure article and plural agreement and avoid repetition.

× I think if we have lots of park in the area.

✓ I think it would be good if we had many parks in the area.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a main clause and has article/plural errors. Use conditional structure 'I think it would be good if we had...' and plural 'parks'. Suggestions: complete the thought and use correct conditional tense and pluralization.

× Well, my move most favorite park is Rose Garden and I'll always want to go there with my family.

✓ Well, my most favorite park is Rose Garden and I will always want to go there with my family.

'Move' is incorrect word; remove it. 'I'll always want' is acceptable but 'I will always want' is clearer. Ensure adjective order 'most favorite' is redundant but acceptable; better to say 'my favorite park'. Suggestions: remove extra words and use 'my favorite park' for conciseness.

× It is situated in Chandigarh and whenever I get tough free time and I will get the opportunity to go there.

✓ It is situated in Chandigarh, and whenever I get enough free time I will have the opportunity to go there.

Use 'enough free time' rather than 'tough free time'. Avoid mixing 'whenever' with awkward 'and I will get'; simplify to 'whenever I get... I will have...'. Suggestions: use correct adjective ('enough') and clear future structure.

× I definitely will go there with my love sperm.

✓ I will definitely go there with my loved ones.

'Love sperm' is a severe lexical error, likely intended 'loved ones' or 'someone I love'. Use 'loved ones' to refer to family and close people. Place adverb 'definitely' appropriately (before main verb or after subject). Suggestions: choose correct phrase for people and avoid offensive/incorrect words.