Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and plurals, and use linking words to list activities. Keep it concise (1–3 sentences).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I liked swimming, using the swings, and having picnics with my friends and family, which made those visits really fun.

提案: Improve grammar and word choice, and make ideas coherent with linking words. Use correct phrases (e.g., “sit outside,” “spend time alone”) and avoid redundancy. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Sometimes I go with friends or family for a picnic, and other times I spend time alone in the peaceful environment to relax.

提案: Give a direct answer then provide a specific reason using clear, natural phrasing. Avoid filler words like “obviously” unless used naturally. Use one supporting detail with a linking word.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would improve the city’s green space and provide more places for recreation and relaxation, especially for families and people who need quiet areas.

提案: Correct vocabulary and grammar, give a specific park name and one reason to visit. Use one clear sentence with a supporting detail and correct relative clause (e.g., “which is located…”).

例: Yes, there is one called Gray Dam Park which I’d like to visit because it has large walking trails and a lake that looks lovely for picnics.

× Yes, I did like going to park as a child because there were so many things that I did enjoy that time, like swim, swings up, going to picnic with my friends or family.

✓ Yes, I did like going to parks as a child because there were so many things that I enjoyed then, like swimming, swinging, and going on picnics with my friends or family.

Original uses singular 'park' when plural or definite article is needed; lists have wrong forms: 'swim' should be gerund 'swimming', 'swings up' is incorrect word order and form, 'going to picnic' needs article and plural. Also 'did enjoy that time' is unnatural — use simple past 'enjoyed then'. Suggest using plural 'parks' or 'the park' depending on meaning, use gerunds for activities, correct word order and add articles where required.

× Yes, I did like going to park as a child because there were so many things that I did enjoy that time, like swim, swings up, going to picnic with my friends or family.

✓ Yes, I did like going to parks as a child because there were so many things that I enjoyed then, like swimming, swinging, and going on picnics with my friends or family.

Activities should follow the verb pattern using -ing forms (gerunds) after 'like' and in lists: 'swim' -> 'swimming', 'swings up' -> 'swinging' or 'playing on the swings', 'going to picnic' -> 'going on picnics'. Using gerunds makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× Yeah, I still like going to parks now. Sometimes I go with my friends, family for a picnic or just sitting out and sometimes I also hang with myself for a peace environment.

✓ Yeah, I still like going to parks now. Sometimes I go with my friends or family for a picnic or just sit outside, and sometimes I also go alone to enjoy a peaceful environment.

Mix of tenses and forms: 'just sitting out' should be parallel with 'go' so use base verb 'sit' or rephrase; 'hang with myself' is nonstandard — use 'go alone' or 'spend time alone'. 'Peace environment' is incorrect collocation; use 'peaceful environment' or 'peace and quiet'. Ensure parallel structure and correct adjective form.

× Obviously yes, because I would like to enjoy the environment and see the more parks in my city.

✓ Obviously yes, because I would like to enjoy the environment and see more parks in my city.

The phrase 'the more parks' incorrectly uses definite article 'the' with 'more'. Use 'more parks' to indicate an increase in number. Also 'enjoy the environment' is acceptable but could be 'enjoy the parks and the environment' for clarity.

× Oh, there are so many pairs. I want to go and I'll go in the future. And that is Park, whose is located in Gray Dam District.

✓ Oh, there are so many parks. I want to go to many of them in the future. There is one park located in Gray Dam District that I especially want to visit.

'pairs' is a misspelling of 'parks'. 'I want to go and I'll go in the future' is awkward; specify 'I want to go to many of them in the future.' 'And that is Park, whose is located...' is ungrammatical: use 'There is one park located in Gray Dam District' or 'a park that is located in Gray Dam District'. Avoid incorrect use of 'whose' here.