Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và dùng thì phù hợp (ví dụ: 'liked', 'parks'), tránh lặp từ và nói dài dòng. Thêm câu chủ đề rõ ràng, nối các ý bằng liên từ, và cụ thể hóa ví dụ (ví dụ hoạt động làm bạn thích sinh học).

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because they allowed me to be close to nature. For example, I used to watch insects and plants closely, which sparked my interest in biology. Also, playing games under the trees helped me learn about different plants and animals.

提案: Cần dùng thì và hình thức động từ đúng (ví dụ 'when I go to parks'), tránh lặp ý (stress) và rút gọn câu. Dùng liên từ để làm mạch lạc và nêu một hoạt động cụ thể khi đến công viên. Hãy kết thúc câu ý nghĩa hoàn chỉnh.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me escape daily stress. For instance, I often take a short walk or sit by a pond to clear my mind, which makes me feel refreshed and more focused afterwards.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp số nhiều/đếm được (parks, fewer parks), cấu trúc câu rõ ràng và tránh dùng từ không chính xác ('economical' không phù hợp). Nên giải thích cụ thể lợi ích: giảm ô nhiễm, tạo không gian giải trí, cải thiện sức khỏe. Dùng liên từ để nối ý.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks because my city suffers from pollution and has too few green spaces. More parks would improve air quality, provide places for exercise and relaxation, and make the city healthier overall.

提案: Cần dùng tên và miêu tả chính xác (park, lakes?), sửa phát âm viết và ngữ pháp ('I would like to go to Tonya Park because it has a large lake and many trees'). Tránh tiếng lắp, nói rõ hoạt động cụ thể bạn sẽ làm ở đó (chụp ảnh, đi bộ).

例: Yes, I would like to visit Tonya Park because it has a large lake and many trees. I plan to walk along the lakeside and take photographs of the beautiful scenery, which I think will be very relaxing and inspiring.

× Yes, I like going to park as a child because when I go to park I could immerse in the nature.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because when I went to parks I could immerse myself in nature.

The sentence refers to a past habit, so past tense should be used (liked, went). 'Park' should be plural or preceded by an article: 'parks' fits here. 'Immerse in the nature' is incorrect; use 'immerse myself in nature' without 'the'. Suggestion: Use past tense for past habits, pluralize 'park' or use 'the park', and include reflexive pronoun 'myself'.

× I could feel and connect with the trees, with the plants.

✓ I could feel and connect with the trees and the plants.

The structure is fine but 'with the trees, with the plants' is repetitive; use 'and' and include articles 'the' for specificity. 'Connect' after 'could' is acceptable; no -ing needed here. Suggestion: Combine items with 'and' and include articles when referring to specific groups.

× And also going to parks help me develop an interest in biology and physiques.

✓ And also going to parks helped me develop an interest in biology and physics.

Past tense 'helped' matches past context. 'Physiques' is incorrect — the intended word is 'physics'. Use past tense for past habit. Spelling correction needed. Suggestion: Use correct subject fields and past tense for past experiences.

× Yes, I still like going to park now because when I going to park I could go away from stress, from busy, from my homework, my housework and when I go to parks I could feel really relieved, feel refreshed and also I could connect with nature.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because when I go to parks I can get away from stress and busyness, from my homework and housework, and when I go to parks I feel really relieved, refreshed, and able to connect with nature.

Use 'go' (base form) with present tense 'I' and 'can' instead of 'could' for present ability. 'Going to park' should be 'going to parks'. 'Busy' should be the noun 'busyness' or phrase 'being busy'. Repetition reduced and parallel structure fixed. Suggestion: Use consistent present tense verbs and correct noun forms; streamline parallel items.

× I feel like I could be myself and go away from stress from the.

✓ I feel like I can be myself and get away from stress.

The original has an unfinished phrase 'from the' and mixed modal 'could' for present feeling. Use 'can' for present. 'Get away from stress' is the correct idiom. Suggestion: Complete the phrase, use appropriate modal verb for present context, and use the idiom 'get away from'.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in the city because in my city it is very polluted.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city because my city is very polluted.

Use plural 'parks' when talking about more than one. 'In my city it is very polluted' is awkward; 'my city is very polluted' is clearer. Articles adjusted. Suggestion: Use plural for countable nouns and simplify the clause.

× The reason it is there are so many less park.

✓ The reason is that there are so few parks.

'So many less park' is ungrammatical. Use 'so few parks' to express scarcity. 'The reason is that' introduces the clause correctly. Suggestion: Use 'few' with plural countable nouns to indicate small quantity and correct word order for explanatory clauses.

× So I think I want to see more park in my city so that our city will be greener, more economical and also it will help our city healthier.

✓ So I think I want to see more parks in my city so that our city will be greener, more environmentally friendly, and healthier.

Plural 'parks' is needed. 'More economical' is incorrect in this context; likely 'more environmentally friendly' or 'more economical' requires context. 'Help our city healthier' is ungrammatical; use 'help our city be healthier' or simply 'and healthier'. Suggestion: Use correct adjectives for intended meaning and proper comparative structures.

× Yes, I want like I would like to go to the Tonya park in the future because it is a very big part with a very big legs and many trees.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Tonya Park in the future because it is a very big park with very big lakes and many trees.

Multiple errors: 'want like I would like' is redundant—use one form. 'Tonya park' should be 'Tonya Park' (proper noun) and 'part' should be 'park'. 'Legs' is incorrect; likely 'lakes'. 'Very big lakes' is clearer. Use article as needed for park names optionally. Suggestion: Remove redundancy, use correct proper noun capitalization, and correct vocabulary.

× I want to go there so I could see that uh, legs and I could take a picture of that uh, very beautiful and breathtaking landscapes.

✓ I want to go there so I can see those lakes and take pictures of the very beautiful and breathtaking landscapes.

Use 'can' for present/future ability instead of 'could'. 'That uh, legs' should be 'those lakes'. 'Take a picture' can be plural 'take pictures' to match multiple landscapes. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: Use 'can' for real future intentions, correct demonstratives ('those'), correct nouns ('lakes'), and avoid fillers.