Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答自然但有语法和重复问题。应避免重复词（如“just near just”），注意动词形式（we liked），并在主题句后用一到两句具体细节支持（什么时候、和谁、玩什么），保持不超过五句。可练习更流畅的连接词如“for example”或“such as”。

例: Yes, I loved going to the small park near my home when I was a child. It was a great place to meet my friends after school, and we often played games such as hide-and-seek and tag. Those afternoons were always full of laughter and excitement.

提案: 回答直接但断断续续，句子不连贯且有断句问题。建议给出一个主题句表明态度，然后用一到两句解释原因并用连接词（because, so）使语流更自然；避免把学科分成碎片句。

例: Not really, because I'm in middle school and need to concentrate on my studies. I spend most of my free time preparing for subjects like math, physics and chemistry, so I don't go to parks as often as before.

提案: 回答清晰且有具体例子，但可以用更自然的连词和更丰富的词汇（relax and exercise -> unwind and keep fit）。另外句子可稍微简化合并，避免冗余。

例: Absolutely. Parks are important because they allow people to unwind and keep fit, which benefits both physical and mental health. For example, I often visit a local park with my family for picnics and light exercise.

提案: 回答有清晰意图和具体原因，但有语法错误（the Yellowstone -> Yellowstone National Park; there has -> there are），以及用词可更地道（get closer to nature）。建议用一到两句说明具体想做的活动或期望看到的景象。

例: Definitely. I would like to visit Yellowstone National Park because it is famous for its hot springs and abundant wildlife. I hope to see geysers, observe animals in their natural habitat, and feel closer to nature.

× Yeah, I used to enjoy going to the park just near just in my neighborhood.

✓ Yeah, I used to enjoy going to the park just near my neighborhood.

句中使用了冗余的介词短语“just near just in my neighborhood”，重复且介词搭配不当。可简化为“just near my neighborhood”或“just in my neighborhood”。建议删去多余的“just in”或将表达改为其中之一以保持句子简洁和正确。

× For example, we likes we liked to play hide and seek and chase each other.

✓ For example, we liked to play hide-and-seek and chase each other.

原句同时出现现在时和过去时的重复“likes we liked”，且主语“we”应与过去时动词“liked”一致。将词形统一为过去式“liked”，并修正拼写和连字符（hide-and-seek）使表达规范。

× No not really. I'm in middle school now so I have to do my study and mainly focus on. Math. Physics, chemistry, that sort of thing.

✓ No, not really. I'm in middle school now, so I have to do my studies and mainly focus on math, physics, chemistry and that sort of thing.

原句断句混乱，标点使用不当，且名词“study”应使用复数“studies”或改为“my schoolwork”。另外“mainly focus on.”后接断句不完整，学科名应连续用逗号连接，并在最后用连词连接。建议合并句子并调整名词形式与标点。

× Definitely I would like to visit the Yellowstone because I know it is famous for its Hot Springs and there has many wild animals.

✓ Definitely I would like to visit Yellowstone because I know it is famous for its hot springs and there are many wild animals.

“the Yellowstone”通常说“Yellowstone”或“Yellowstone National Park”，不加定冠词；“Hot Springs”不需要大写；“there has many wild animals”语法错误，正确结构为“there are many wild animals”。建议使用正确的冠词用法、大小写规范，并把“there has”改为“there are”。

× I think it can make me close to nature.

✓ I think it can bring me closer to nature.

原句“make me close to nature”搭配不自然，常用表达是“bring (someone) closer to nature”或“make me feel closer to nature”。同时“close”需改为比较级“closer”。建议使用固定搭配以使表达更地道。