Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答が断片的で繰り返しが多く、文法や語彙の誤りが目立ちます。まず、明確な主題文（Yes/Noや短い理由）で始め、その後に具体的な詳細（どんな設備か、誰と行ったか、どんな思い出があるか）を1〜2文で付け加えてください。接続詞（because, and, when）を使って文をつなぎ、語彙は“slides”“swings”“playground”など正確な単語を使いましょう。また冗長な繰り返しを避け、全体で3文以内にまとめると自然です。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they had fun playground equipment. For example, there were slides and swings that I played on with my friends. Those visits created many happy memories of playing outdoors.

提案: 内容は伝わりますが、文法ミス（主語・時制）や不必要な語の混入（"Girls"）があります。まず明確な主語で始め、現在習慣を表す現在形を使い、頻度表現を自然に加えましょう。また“exercise briefly, such as learning”の部分は不明瞭なので、具体的な活動（walking, jogging, stretching）を挙げてください。接続詞（so, and）を使い、文を2〜3文に整理すると良いです。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks to exercise. I usually jog in the park near my house about three times a week, and sometimes I do stretching or brisk walking before or after my run.

提案: 意図は明確ですが、文法（単複や動詞の一致）と語彙の使い方に改善の余地があります。まず一文目で意見をはっきり述べ、その後で具体的な理由を2つ程度示してください。語彙は“green spaces”“trees”“reduce stress”など自然な表現を使い、“helps to decrease the stressing selection level”は“helps reduce stress”に直しましょう。文は3文以内に抑え、つなぎ言葉（because, so, therefore）を活用してください。

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces and trees help me relax. They also provide a peaceful place to exercise and meet friends, which can reduce stress. Therefore, I support creating more parks in urban areas.

提案: アイディアは良いですが、言い換えや繰り返し、単位の不確かさが文の流れを損ねています。簡潔な主題文で始め、例えば“the largest park”や具体的な公園名を挙げると印象的です。面積の話をするなら“I'm not sure about the exact size”と簡潔に述べ、次にそこで何をしたいか（walking, running, picnicking）を具体的に述べましょう。全体を2〜3文にまとめ、不要な繰り返しを避けてください。

例: Yes, I would love to visit the world's largest park someday. I'm not sure about its exact size, but I imagine it would be great for running and exploring many trails. I would enjoy spending a whole day there jogging and having a picnic.

× In my driveway, I like, I like the teal go go to the park because the park has a the park has a enjoyable facilities like Slater, like Slater.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park because the park had enjoyable facilities, like a slide.

The sentence has multiple article and word-form errors. 'In my driveway' is incorrect contextually; 'When I was a child' fits the question. 'I like, I like the teal go go to the park' contains repetitions and wrong tense—change to past simple 'I liked going to the park.' 'the park has a the park has a enjoyable facilities' misuses articles and plural/singular agreement: 'facilities' is plural so use no 'a' and 'enjoyable' should modify a plural or be rephrased; better: 'enjoyable facilities' or specify a singular facility 'a slide.' 'Slater' seems to be 'slide.' Suggestion: choose correct tense (past) for a childhood habit, remove duplicate words, use correct articles ('a' before singular countable nouns) and correct noun forms (slide).

× I like, I like, uh, I like play. I like to play the this this amazement facilities.

✓ I liked to play on the amusement facilities.

The student repeats and mixes present tense 'I like' with past context; use past 'I liked.' 'I like play' is missing 'to' or the -ing form; correct forms are 'I like to play' or 'I like playing.' 'the this this' are redundant demonstratives; remove extras. 'amazement facilities' is incorrect word choice—use 'amusement facilities' or 'playground equipment.' Suggestion: use consistent tense, correct verb patterns (like + to-infinitive or like + -ing), remove repetitions and choose accurate vocabulary.

× Girls are still like going to the park to exercise briefly, such as learning or jogging.

✓ I still like going to the park to exercise, such as walking or jogging.

'Girls are still like' is incorrect subject and structure. The speaker should use 'I still like' for personal preference. 'to exercise briefly' is odd; simply 'to exercise' is fine. 'learning' is incorrect in this context—likely meant 'walking.' Use present simple 'I still like' for habitual actions. Suggestion: use correct subject pronoun, the simple present for habits, and accurate activity vocabulary.

× Recently, I go to the I go to the park near my house to jog, uh, three times a week.

✓ Recently, I have been going to the park near my house to jog three times a week.

For actions started in the recent past and continuing to the present, use present perfect continuous 'have been going' or present perfect 'have gone.' The original uses simple present 'I go' which is awkward with 'recently.' Also remove repeated phrase 'I go to the.' Suggestion: use 'have been going' to indicate ongoing recent habit and remove repetitions.

× Yes, I hope to see more parks in the city because the park has park has a green trees.

✓ Yes, I hope to see more parks in the city because parks have green trees.

Repeated phrase 'the park has park has' must be fixed. 'a green trees' mixes singular article with plural noun; use plural without 'a' or use 'a green tree' for singular. Also match plural 'parks' with 'have.' Suggestion: ensure article and noun number agreement and remove repetitions.

× Green trees makes me relaxed and helps to decrease the stressing selection level.

✓ Green trees make me feel relaxed and help reduce my stress levels.

With plural subject 'Green trees,' the verbs should be plural: 'make' and 'help.' 'Makes' and 'helps' are singular forms and therefore incorrect. 'Feel relaxed' is more natural than just 'relaxed.' 'Decrease the stressing selection level' is awkward and incorrect vocabulary—likely meant 'reduce my stress levels.' Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject number and use natural collocations (feel relaxed, reduce stress levels).

× That is why I hope to increase the park in the future.

✓ That is why I hope the number of parks will increase in the future.

'I hope to increase the park' incorrectly implies the speaker will increase the park themselves. Use passive construction or state 'the number of parks will increase' to express expecting more parks. Also keep 'hope' with appropriate clause ('I hope that...'). Suggestion: rephrase to 'I hope the number of parks will increase' or 'I hope we will build more parks.'

× Ah, yes, in the future I would like to go to the park that's that is the biggest in the world.

✓ Ah, yes. In the future I would like to go to the park that is the biggest in the world.

Main issues are redundant phrasing 'that's that is' and punctuation/structure. 'Would like to' is appropriate for future desire (modal-like). Remove redundancy and split into clearer sentences. Suggestion: avoid repeating contractions and full forms together and use simple, clear clauses.

× I do not I really don't know the much how the hectares hectares is, how bigger the park is.

✓ I really don't know how many hectares it is or how big the park is.

The sentence has repetition ('I do not I really don't'), wrong word order and incorrect quantifier usage. Use 'how many hectares' for countable units and 'how big' to ask about size. Remove duplicated words. Suggestion: use 'how many' with countable nouns, correct word order 'I don't know how many hectares it is' and avoid repetition.

× But in in there I would like to run around.

✓ But there I would like to run around.

Duplicate 'in in' should be removed. 'I would like to run around' is acceptable for future desire; no tense change needed. If referring to past visit preference, use past tense earlier. Suggestion: remove duplicate words and keep consistent tense/context.