Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetitions, fillers (uh, um), and tense errors. Use linking words like “usually” or “often” to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were a place to play and relax. For example, I usually went to the local park on weekends with my friends to play football or ride bikes.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and correct verb forms, then add a specific detail about how or why you visit parks now. Use a linking word such as “because” or “so” to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrasing.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because they are a great place to spend time with my child. For instance, we often go on weekends to let my child play on the swings and to go for a short walk together.

提案: Answer the question directly (Yes/No + reason) and avoid repeating. Provide a clear comparison or specific detail about the number and types of parks. Remove fillers and correct sentence structure (subject–verb agreement).

例: I wouldn’t say more parks are necessary because there are already several near my home. For example, there is a children’s playground nearby and about one kilometer away there is a fitness park with exercise equipment.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence about your plans, then add specific details (which parks, when, and why). Use correct expressions for time and frequency, and avoid excessive fillers. Use linking words like “also” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I plan to continue visiting both the children’s park and the fitness park in the future. For example, we usually go to the kids’ park on weekend afternoons and visit the fitness park in the evenings, around 5:00 to 7:00, so my child can play while I exercise.

× Yes, I am interested to go in a park when I am I when I get a free time. Uh, mostly I went uh, park in a weekend.

✓ Yes, I was interested in going to parks when I was a child. Mostly I went to a park on weekends.

Errors: incorrect prepositions ('interested to' -> 'interested in'; 'go in a park' -> 'go to a park'; 'went park' -> 'went to a park'); incorrect article/number and time expression ('a weekend' -> 'on weekends'); tense consistency ('am' -> 'was' to match 'as a child'). Suggestion: use 'interested in' + gerund, use 'to' with 'go', include articles and pluralize where appropriate, and use 'on weekends' for habitual weekend actions.

× Is now also I am interested to going to park and when I got a free time mostly in a weekend with my child.

✓ Now I am also interested in going to parks, and when I get free time, mostly on weekends, I go with my child.

Errors: incorrect word order and redundant 'Is now also'; wrong preposition and gerund use ('interested to going' -> 'interested in going'); wrong tense 'got' -> 'get' for present habitual; missing articles and plural ('to park' -> 'to parks'); time expression 'in a weekend' -> 'on weekends'. Suggestion: start with subject 'Now', use 'interested in' + gerund, use present simple for habitual actions, and use 'on weekends' for repeated weekend activities.

× Is there are so many, uh, parks near my home, Uh, and uh, there are, umm, there are, uh, one kid on kids park and, uh, and 1 kilometer away there are, uh, fitness park for exercise and.

✓ There are many parks near my home. There is a kids' park close by, and about one kilometer away there is a fitness park for exercise.

Errors: incorrect initial 'Is there are' (redundant 'is'); subject-verb agreement and article usage ('one kid on kids park' unclear -> 'a kids' park'); missing articles before 'fitness park' and singular/plural issues. Suggestion: use 'There is/There are' correctly: 'There are many parks', use 'a' before singular nouns, pluralize or possessivize 'kids' park' as 'kids' park', and use clear distance expressions 'about one kilometer away'.

× Yes uh I am using both parts like uh kids park and fitness park in my free time or in my week weekend we use UMM kids park and uh and the fitness park uh kids are going at A5 to uh 7:00 in evening and.

✓ Yes, I use both parks, the kids' park and the fitness park, in my free time or on weekends. We use the kids' park and the fitness park, and the kids go there at about 5 to 7 in the evening.

Errors: incorrect verb forms ('I am using' -> 'I use' for habitual action), wrong nouns ('parts' -> 'parks'), incorrect time expression ('in my week weekend' -> 'on weekends'), punctuation and clarity issues, incorrect time format 'A5' and missing prepositions ('in the evening' -> 'in the evening'). Suggestion: use present simple for regular activities, use 'kids' park' possessive form, use 'on weekends', and write times clearly as '5 to 7 in the evening' or 'from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m.'.