Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct tense and articles. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Use past simple for childhood activities and correct nouns/articles (e.g., “the park,” “playing”). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes. I loved going to the park when I was a child. I often played on the swings and had picnics with my friends, which made those afternoons very memorable.

提案: Use present simple for current habits and choose accurate vocabulary (e.g., “park,” “relaxed,” “stressed”). Organize answer: state habit, then one specific reason and example using a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often visit a nearby park because walking among trees helps me relax when I feel stressed.

提案: Give a clear opinion and then specific reasons with linking words. Use plural/singular correctly (e.g., “parks,” “children play”). Mention one concrete benefit and a brief example of who would use new parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space for people to relax. For example, families could have picnics and children would have safe areas to play.

提案: Mention the park clearly with correct name and use future tense or modal for plans (e.g., “I would like to visit Sunshine Park”). Give 1–2 specific details about why it appeals to you and avoid vague or mixed metaphors. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. I would like to visit Sunshine Park in the future because I have heard it has beautiful gardens and peaceful walking paths. I think it would be a great place to relax and take photos.

× Yes, I would like to go park in when when I was a child I would like to playing in play, playing in park and the prosper of park is was my favorite and I was very excited to go on the park and play with my friends having fun, they said.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I liked going to the park. I enjoyed playing in the park and the playground was my favorite. I was very excited to go to the park and play with my friends.

The student incorrectly used 'would like to playing' and mixed forms. After verbs like 'liked' or 'would like', use the base form or the gerund appropriately: 'liked going' or 'would like to go'. Also 'playing in park' needs 'the park' and 'playground' is more natural for 'prosper'. Suggestion: use 'liked going to the park' and 'enjoyed playing' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 8.

× Yes, absolutely I liked going to pork in the present, it makes my mind fresh.

✓ Yes, absolutely I like going to parks now; it freshens my mind.

The student used 'liked' (past) with 'in the present' and 'pork' is a misspelling of 'park'. Use present simple 'like' for current habitual actions and 'freshens my mind' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestion: use 'I like going to parks now' and 'it freshens my mind'. Grammar problem type ID: 5.

× When I got into trouble with the mental like mental trouble, I feel straight frustrated.

✓ When I have mental difficulties, I feel very frustrated.

The phrase 'mental like mental trouble' is ungrammatical and repetitive. 'Got into trouble with the mental' mixes past and noun forms. Use 'have mental difficulties' or 'experience mental problems' and 'feel very frustrated' (adverb 'very' modifies adjective). Suggestion: 'When I feel stressed or have mental difficulties, I feel very frustrated.' Grammar problem type ID: 13.

× I would like to go on park and refresh my mind, see the green spaces and.

✓ I would like to go to the park and refresh my mind, see the green spaces, and relax.

Use 'go to the park' not 'go on park'. The sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' Add a parallel verb 'relax' to complete the list. Suggestion: use 'go to the park and refresh my mind, see the green spaces, and relax.' Grammar problem type ID: 8.

× Yes, I would like to see parks in our city because park is a place where everybody calm and refresh their mind.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in our city because a park is a place where everybody can calm down and refresh their minds.

Missing modal 'can' and verb 'calm down'. 'Park' needs an article 'a park' or plural 'parks'. Pronoun agreement: 'everybody' takes singular verb but is followed by plural 'their' (acceptable in modern usage but better to use 'their minds' or 'his or her mind'); here 'their minds' is fine. Suggestion: 'a park is a place where everybody can calm down and refresh their minds.' Grammar problem type ID: 12.

× Play page children plays there and family, different family have picnics, they have fun.

✓ Children play there, and different families have picnics and have fun.

The original is jumbled: 'Play page' is meaningless, 'children plays' has subject-verb disagreement, and 'family, different family' is awkward. Correct structure: plural subjects 'children' and 'families' with appropriate verbs 'play' and 'have'. Suggestion: use simple parallel clauses: 'Children play there, and different families have picnics.' Grammar problem type ID: 26.

× Yes, there there a park I would like to go in the future from the park name is Sunshine.

✓ Yes, there is a park I would like to visit in the future; its name is Sunshine.

Missing verb 'is' after 'there' and repeated 'there'. Also awkward phrasing 'from the park name is'. Use 'there is' and 'its name is'. Suggestion: 'There is a park I would like to visit in the future; its name is Sunshine.' Grammar problem type ID: 3.

× It it was very beautiful.

✓ It is very beautiful.

The student repeated 'it' and used past tense 'was' although referring to the park's current appearance. Use present 'is' to describe a park that still exists. Suggestion: 'It is very beautiful.' Grammar problem type ID: 13.

× The atmosphere, the beauty of park is mind blowing.

✓ The atmosphere and the beauty of the park are mind-blowing.

Missing article 'the' before 'park' and incorrect subject-verb agreement: two nouns 'atmosphere and beauty' require plural verb 'are'. Also 'mind-blowing' is hyphenated adjective. Suggestion: 'The atmosphere and the beauty of the park are mind-blowing.' Grammar problem type ID: 26.

× I was I'm surprised, but the beauty of fire. I like to go there.

✓ I was surprised by the beauty, and I would like to go there.

Mixed tenses 'I was I'm surprised' and unclear phrase 'beauty of fire.' Likely intended 'I was surprised by the beauty.' Use consistent tense and clear object. 'I would like to go there' expresses future intention politely. Suggestion: 'I was surprised by the beauty, and I would like to go there.' Grammar problem type ID: 12