Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use correct tense and more concise phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one specific memory or reason with a linking word. Avoid vague general statements.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, I used to play on the swings every afternoon with my friends, which helped me stay active and make close friends.

提案: Be more specific and reduce repetition. Give one or two clear reasons and link them logically. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid phrases like "one of the few reasons" which is awkward here.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks because I like walking among trees and breathing fresh air. Also, I often meet neighbors there, so it is both relaxing and social.

提案: Provide a direct answer then give a specific reason or example. Correct grammar (e.g., "people who go there") and clarify what you mean by "structured" — describe facilities or layout.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would mean more green space and places for families to relax; for instance, parks with playgrounds and walking paths would improve community health.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific example of a park you'd like to visit and why. Use correct question-word order in embedded questions (e.g., "what their benches and surroundings are").

例: Yes, I would like to visit Hyde Park in London because I'm curious about its layout and facilities; for example, I want to see how benches and walking routes are arranged compared with parks at home.

× I do love going to the park as a child.

✓ I loved going to the park as a child.

The sentence refers to a past habit (as a child) so present simple is incorrect. Use past simple 'loved' to match the past time reference. Suggestion: use past tense when describing childhood habits (I loved ...).

× Even when I'm an adult I still like going to the park and I believe that there is no age limit for an individual to enjoy spending its time on places.

✓ Even now that I'm an adult, I still like going to the park, and I believe there is no age limit for anyone to enjoy spending time in such places.

Several issues: 'Even when I'm an adult' mixes time references; 'its time' wrongly uses a possessive pronoun for 'individual' (use anyone); 'on places' uses incorrect preposition and pluralization. Also 'an individual' is formal and 'anyone' is more natural. Suggestions: match time references (now that I'm an adult), use 'anyone', use 'spending time in such places'.

× I absolutely do, and one of the few reasons is that everyone needs to spend their time outdoors and watching the beautiful nature, the beautiful trees, sightseeing and maybe communicating with other people as well.

✓ I absolutely do, and one of the main reasons is that everyone needs to spend time outdoors, enjoy the beautiful nature and trees, go sightseeing, and maybe interact with other people as well.

Verb forms and collocations need consistency: 'spend their time outdoors and watching' mixes structures. Use parallel gerund phrases: 'spend time outdoors, enjoy..., go sightseeing, interact...'. Also 'one of the few reasons' is odd; 'one of the main reasons' is clearer. Use 'interact' instead of 'communicating' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I love the idea of seeing multiple parks in the city and the new people that goes there and the way they are structured.

✓ Yes, I love the idea of seeing multiple parks in the city, the new people who go there, and the way they are designed.

'People' is plural, so verb must be plural: use 'who go' not 'that goes'. Also 'the way they are structured' is awkward; 'designed' is more natural. Use 'who' for people, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× There is, and I'm actually curious about the other parks outside of my country, not just in here or in our city. I wonder what are their benches, their environment?

✓ Yes, there are, and I'm actually curious about other parks outside my country, not just here in our city. I wonder what their benches and surroundings are like.

'There is' is singular but 'parks' is plural, so use 'There are'. 'Not just in here' is unidiomatic; use 'not just here in our city'. The question 'I wonder what are their benches, their environment?' uses incorrect word order for an indirect question and awkward nouns. Use 'I wonder what their benches and surroundings are like.'