Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), use past tense consistently, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'because' and 'and').

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they made me feel refreshed and happy. For example, I liked playing on the swings and meeting other children, which helped me make friends.

提案: Use present simple correctly and correct grammar (I still like, parks, gives me relaxation). Keep it short and add a specific detail or reason. Use linking words like 'because' and 'and' to connect effects (relaxation) and reason (memories).

例: Yes, I still like going to parks because they relax me and remind me of my childhood. For instance, watching children play on the swings makes me feel nostalgic and calm.

提案: Be clear about timeframe and correct noun forms (city, parks). State the main idea directly and give a specific reason about your child. Avoid unclear words like 'yesterday' and use linking words such as 'because' and 'so'.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I have a young child who needs space to play and exercise. More parks would give children opportunities for outdoor activities and improve community life.

提案: Answer directly and use conditional or future structures correctly. Say which country or type of park and give a specific reason (scenery, facilities). Remove repeated words and fillers, and use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks abroad in the future, especially in Japan or New Zealand, because I have heard they are very beautiful and have unique landscapes. Visiting such parks would give me a chance to experience a different environment and relax.

× Yes, I like going to parks as a child because it's giving me the clean, uh, clean mindset and it's giving me the good environment while seeing the, uh, other child that I can play with.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because they gave me a sense of cleanliness and a good environment when I saw other children to play with.

The sentence mixes present and past contexts. The question asks about childhood, so past tense should be used (liked, gave). 'It's giving me' is incorrect for past and also awkward; use 'gave me'. 'Parks' is plural, so refer to them with 'they'. 'Other child' should be plural 'other children'. Also simplify 'clean mindset' to 'a sense of cleanliness' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I am still like going to park because it's give me the relaxations when I see other children's playing in the playground and it's it's remind me my childhood.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks because they give me relaxation when I see other children playing in the playground and they remind me of my childhood.

Use simple present 'I still like' instead of 'I am still like'. 'Park' should be plural 'parks' or 'the park'; choose plural to match earlier. 'It's give' should be 'they give' to match plural subject. 'Relaxations' is uncountable here: use 'relaxation'. 'Other children's playing' is incorrect possessive; use 'other children playing'. 'It's it's remind me my childhood' should be 'they remind me of my childhood'—include preposition 'of'.

× Yes, I like to see more parks here in our yesterday because I have a child who wanted to play or doing more activity than living here, than staying here in our home.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks here in our city because I have a child who wants to play or do more activities instead of staying at home.

'Here in our yesterday' is nonsensical; likely meant 'here in our city'. Use conditional 'would like' for preference. 'I have a child who wanted' should be present 'who wants' to match current desire. 'Doing more activity' should be 'do more activities'. Use 'instead of' rather than 'than' to contrast with staying at home. 'Living here, than staying here in our home' is redundant; simplify.

× If there are any parks that I want to go in the future, that is in the other country. I heard a lot of news that it's beautiful and it's, it's, it's giving, it's giving me the, uh, the different environment.

✓ If there are any parks I want to visit in the future, they would be in another country. I have heard many reports that they are beautiful and offer a different environment.

Use 'want to visit' rather than 'want to go'. 'That is in the other country' should be 'they would be in another country'. 'I heard a lot of news' is better as 'I have heard many reports'. Avoid repetitive 'it's giving'—use 'offer' for natural phrasing. Use plural agreement 'they are beautiful'.