Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümleniz anlamı iletiyor ancak dilbilgisi, zaman kullanımı ve akıcılık açısından düzeltilmeye ihtiyaç var. Konu cümlesinde geçmiş zamanı tutarlı kullanın (ör. “used to” veya “went”), gereksiz tekrar ve dolgu kelimelerini (“uh”) azaltın. Destekleyici ayrıntılar eklerken bağlaçlar kullanın ve tekil/çoğul uyumuna dikkat edin ("friends don't come"). Önerilen odak noktaları: 1) Geçmiş zaman ifadelerini düzeltme; 2) Dolgu kelimelerini azaltma; 3) Kısa, mantıklı bir yapı kurma.

例: Yes, I used to go to the park near my apartment almost every day when I was a child. I often played football with my friends there, but sometimes I went with my father if they couldn't come. Those visits were a great chance to be active and meet neighbors.

提案: Cümlenizde zaman uyumsuzluğu ve gereksiz tekrarlar var. Geçmişten bahsederken "used to" veya geçmiş zaman kullanın; şimdiki durumu belirtirken geniş zaman veya şimdiki zaman yapısını doğru kullanın. Kısa ve doğrudan konu cümlesi kurun, ardından nedenlerinizi bağlaçla açıklayın (because, so, therefore). Ayrıca boşluk fillerlarını azaltın.

例: I used to enjoy spending time in parks, but I don't visit them as much now because I've become busier and prefer indoor activities like studying or going to the gym. However, I occasionally go for walks when I want fresh air.

提案: Cevabınız karışık ve bazı ifadeler anlaşılması zor. Öncelikle net bir konu cümlesi verin (evet/hayır/semi). Ardından nedenlerinizi somut örneklerle destekleyin. Belirsiz ifadelerden ("Park Tools") kaçının veya net açıklayın. Ayrıca “there are” kullanımı ve "want to see more parks" ifadesinin doğru formunu kullanın. Bağlaçlarla mantıklı akış sağlayın.

例: I don't think we need many more parks in my city because there are already plenty of green spaces. Instead, I would prefer to see improvements to existing parks, for example better playground equipment and more seating areas for families.

提案: İfadeniz anlaşılır ama akıcılık ve dil bilgisi sorunu var. "Parks in other countries" demek için doğru kelime dizimini kullanın ve nedenlerini açıkça belirtin. Daha spesifik örnekler ve bağlaçlar ekleyin (for example, because, such as). Gereksiz boşluk doldurucuları çıkarın.

例: Yes, I would like to visit parks in other countries because they often have different landscapes and designs. For example, I would love to see Japan's traditional gardens and large national parks in Canada to experience new scenery and outdoor activities.

× When I was a child, I usually go to the park in my uh, apartment, uh, and I play with my friends or maybe my friends doesn't come with me.

✓ When I was a child, I usually went to the park near my apartment, and I played with my friends, or sometimes my friends didn't come with me.

The sentence refers to past habitual actions, so verbs must be in the past tense (went, played, didn't). 'Doesn't' is present tense and must be changed to 'didn't' for past. Also use 'near my apartment' for clarity and correct collocation. Suggestions: change present verbs to past for past-time context and use 'didn't' for negative past.

× My father, uh, and I go to the park.

✓ My father and I went to the park.

The sentence describes past activity so the verb must be past tense 'went'. While 'My father and I go' could be correct for habitual present, the context 'When I was a child' requires past. Ensure subject and verb agree in tense for the time referenced.

× In the past I like to, uh, spending a time in the parks, but now I don't because I grow up and I like to do something different now.

✓ In the past I liked spending time in parks, but now I don't because I have grown up and I like to do different things.

For past habit use 'liked' (past). 'Spending' must follow 'liked' directly (liked spending). 'A time' is incorrect collocation; use 'time' without article. 'I grow up' is incorrect for present perfect change; use 'I have grown up'. Also pluralize 'things' to match 'something different' -> 'different things' or keep 'something different' but adjust surrounding verbs. Suggestions: use past tense for past habits, use present perfect to express change from past to now, and correct collocations.

× Actually in here, there's a lot of, uh, parks, uh, so I don't wanna see it, uh, more parks, but uh, maybe in Park Tools, maybe developed.

✓ Actually, there are a lot of parks here, so I don't want to see more parks, but maybe some parks could be developed.

Use 'there are' for plural existence (there's is singular). 'In here' is unnatural; use 'here'. 'A lot of parks' requires plural verb 'are'. 'I don't wanna see it more parks' mixes pronouns and nouns; change to 'I don't want to see more parks'. 'Maybe in Park Tools' is unclear; likely 'some parks could be developed' is a clearer correction. Use standard 'want to' instead of 'wanna'. Suggestions: use 'there are' for plural, place 'here' correctly, avoid informal contractions in formal responses.

× I want to go to the, another country's parks in the world because I in my country, I know, uh, all the specific parks, uh.

✓ I want to go to parks in other countries because in my country I already know all the specific parks.

Use 'other countries' rather than 'another country's parks' for plurality and correct meaning. 'In my country' should precede or follow the clause cleanly; avoid extra commas. 'I know' should be present simple 'I already know' to express existing knowledge. Remove unnecessary articles and filler words. Suggestions: use 'parks in other countries', place prepositional phrases naturally, and avoid redundant commas and fillers.