Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on producing a clear topic sentence and cleaner past-tense forms. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use one or two specific details (activities, who you went with, a memorable moment) connected with simple linking words (for example, because, and, so). Keep answers to 2–4 sentences and check grammar for past tense and word order.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I used to play there with my friends, cousins and siblings. For example, we often had picnics and played football, which created many happy memories for me.

提案: Answer more directly with a clear topic sentence and correct simple present tense. Reduce hesitations and filler words. Give one reason and, if helpful, a brief contrasting detail using linking words (because, so, however).

例: Not really, I usually prefer going to the gym now because Kuwait is very hot and humid. As a result, indoor exercise is more comfortable and practical for me.

提案: Give a clear, natural response and avoid unclear phrases. Explain specifically why more parks would be good (air quality, space to exercise, family activities). Use linking words (for example, because, so) and correct expressions (e.g., “I can breathe more easily,” “exercise more”). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they would provide cleaner air and space to exercise. For instance, having more green areas would make it easier for me and my family to walk and do outdoor workouts.

提案: State your choice clearly and give a specific reason or brief detail about why you want to visit. Avoid repetition and keep to 2–3 sentences. Use past/present perfect when referring to seeing videos (e.g., “I have seen videos”), and use natural phrasing for plans (e.g., “I would like to visit Hyde Park with my family”).

例: Yes, I would like to visit Hyde Park in London because I have seen beautiful videos of its gardens and open spaces. I hope to go there with my family to walk around the lake and relax together.

× Yeah, of course I would. I like because we there, there we playing with my friends and cousins and with my siblings.

✓ Yeah, of course I did. I liked going because we used to play there with my friends, cousins, and siblings.

Student used incorrect verb forms and pronouns for past habits. 'I would' is not correct here; use 'I did' or 'I liked' for past. 'We there, there we playing' has wrong word order and verb form; use 'we used to play there' to express habitual past actions. Also list items with commas and include 'and' before the last item. Suggestion: use 'used to' or simple past to describe childhood habits and maintain correct subject-verb order.

× So yeah, I really go to the park as a child 'cause there's enjoying moment there and I have really huge memories there.

✓ So yeah, I really went to the park as a child because there were enjoyable moments there and I have many great memories.

Mix of tense and adjective choice errors. 'Go to the park as a child' should be in past 'went'. 'There's enjoying moment' is ungrammatical: use 'there were enjoyable moments' or 'I enjoyed my time there.' 'Really huge memories' is awkward; use 'many great memories.' Suggestion: match past tense for childhood events and choose appropriate adjectives and quantifiers ('many', 'great', 'enjoyable').

× Uh, usually not because now I'm going to the gym because here in Kuwait, the weather is really, really, uh, humid and, and sometimes I say, I, I see the. The weather, It's hot.

✓ Usually not, because now I go to the gym; here in Kuwait the weather is really humid and sometimes it is very hot.

Inconsistent tense and redundant phrasing. 'I'm going to the gym' implies continuous action but context means habitual action now: use simple present 'I go to the gym.' 'Sometimes I say, I, I see the. The weather, It's hot.' is fragmented; use 'sometimes it is very hot.' Suggestion: use simple present for current habits and avoid fillers and repetitions.

× Uh, yes. Now, uh, I like to see more parks in my city like Ashaheed parks here in Kuwait and I really enjoy there because I can't breathe uh, more and I can make my, uh, hard, uh, hard work to my body like this and I, I really enjoy it too.

✓ Yes. Now I would like to see more parks in my city, like Ashaheed Park here in Kuwait, and I would really enjoy them because I can breathe more and exercise my body; I would enjoy that.

Pronoun and article errors and unclear phrasing. 'I like to see' should be 'I would like to see' or 'I would like more parks.' 'Ashaheed parks' likely singular 'Ashaheed Park.' 'I really enjoy there' is incorrect; use 'I would really enjoy them' or 'I enjoy going there.' 'I can't breathe more' intended 'I can breathe more' (better: 'I can breathe more easily'). 'make my hard work to my body' is unclear; use 'exercise my body' or 'work out.' Suggestion: use correct pronouns/plural forms and clear collocations like 'breathe easily' and 'exercise.'

× Yes, I would go, yes, I would go to the Hyde Park in London. I saw a really beautiful videos on social media and I would visit there really, really, really with my family and with my siblings.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Hyde Park in London. I saw really beautiful videos on social media and I would really like to visit it with my family and siblings.

Incorrect modal usage and article use. 'I would go' is acceptable but 'I would like to go' is more natural for future desire. 'the Hyde Park' should be 'Hyde Park' (no definite article for most park names). 'I saw a really beautiful videos' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'I saw really beautiful videos' or 'a really beautiful video.' 'visit there' should be 'visit it' or 'visit there' with different structure; better 'visit it.' Suggestion: use 'would like' for polite future desire, correct article usage with place names, and match singular/plural forms.