Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Работайте над беглостью и точностью высказываний. Избегайте повторов и пауз («uh», «umm») — они снижают естественность речи. Начните с чёткой темы в первом предложении, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных подробности (например, игры, запахи, друзья) с связками (e.g., "because", "so", "also"). Также проверьте слова: «products» неуместно — используйте «facilities» или «features».

例: Yes, I loved going to the park near my house as a child because it had a big playground and lots of trees. I often played hide-and-seek with my neighbors, and we also fed the ducks by the pond.

提案: Сократите повторы и уберите заполнители. Начните с прямого утверждения, затем добавьте конкретные детали и связки («because», «for example», «so») для связности. Уточняйте выражения: «have already sat next to my house» некорректно — скажите «are near my house». Старайтесь укладываться в 2–4 предложения и использовать релевантную лексику (e.g., «playgrounds», «sports facilities», «green spaces»).

例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks because several of them are near my house and offer beautiful green spaces. For example, many parks have playgrounds and basketball courts, so I often play games there with my friends.

提案: Улучшите структуру ответа: тема → причина → пример. Избегайте пауз и неясных фраз («it all so»). Используйте точные формулировки: «breathe fresh air», «see wildlife» или «observe birds». Добавьте связки («because», «for both children and adults») и 1 конкретный пример пользы для взрослых (например, спорт, отдых, встречи).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they allow people to breathe fresh air and observe local wildlife. For both children and adults, parks provide places for exercise, relaxation and socialising.

提案: Отработайте ясность и точность: избегайте неправильных слов («parcel» вместо «place»). Дайте чёткий ответ, затем назовите конкретное место (например, Central Park) и объясните, почему хотите его посетить (архитектура, знаменитости, мероприятия). Используйте связки («because», «so», «for example») и не более 3 предложений.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Central Park in New York in the near future because it is famous for its large green areas and cultural events. I want to see the landscapes and try boating on the lake.

× Uh, I really like going to park as a child, uh, near next to my house.

✓ Uh, I really liked going to parks as a child, near my house.

'park' should be plural or preceded by an article; also tense should be past to match 'as a child'. Use 'parks' for general places or 'the park' for a specific one. Replace redundant 'near next to' with 'near'.

× Uh, I have a lot of products and also, uh, there are a lot of entertainment.

✓ There were a lot of attractions and also a lot of entertainment.

'products' is incorrect in this context; use 'attractions'. For 'entertainment' you can say 'a lot of entertainment' but better 'a lot of attractions and entertainment'. Match past tense 'were' to 'as a child'.

× Umm, so yeah, I really like to go to parks as a child.

✓ So yeah, I really liked going to parks as a child.

Tense mismatch: 'as a child' refers to the past, so use past tense 'liked' and gerund 'going'. 'Like to go' is not wrong but consistency with past is better: 'liked going'.

× Yes, I still like going to parks now as I, as I have already sat next to my house, uh, there are different parks and most of the parks have uh, beautiful nature and also different kind of entertainment such as, uh, playgrounds or basketball courts.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now because I live near many parks; most of them have beautiful green spaces and different kinds of entertainment, such as playgrounds and basketball courts.

Use present simple 'live' instead of 'have already sat' which is incorrect. 'Beautiful nature' is better as 'beautiful green spaces'. Use plural 'kinds' with 'different'. Replace 'and also' with 'and' and 'or' with 'and' for multiple examples. Maintain present tense consistency.

× And I really like to play games there with my friends.

✓ I also really enjoy playing games there with my friends.

Prefer present simple 'enjoy playing' for habitual present actions. 'Like to play' is acceptable but 'enjoy playing' is more natural with 'there'.

× I would like to see more parks in my city.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city.

Sentence is correct. 'Would like' appropriately expresses desire; no change needed.

× Umm, it is a great opportunity for kids to uh, breathe with a fresh air and also to maybe see uh, different animals, uh, but it all uh, so it is not uh, good only for children, but it's also good for adults.

✓ It is a great opportunity for kids to breathe fresh air and maybe see different animals, but it is not only good for children; it's also good for adults.

'Breathe with a fresh air' is unidiomatic — say 'breathe fresh air'. Remove 'the' before 'fresh air'. Use infinitive 'to breathe'. Fix word order and redundancy; 'all so' is incorrect. Use semicolon or comma to connect clauses.

× Uh, yes, I have a parcel I want to go into the future.

✓ Yes, I have a place I want to visit in the future.

'Parcel' is incorrect word choice; 'place' or 'park' fits. 'Want to go into the future' is ungrammatical; use 'in the future' after the verb phrase.

× Uh, one of our parks is located in New in New York.

✓ One of the parks is located in New York.

Redundant 'in New in New York' is wrong. Use 'in New York' alone. Also use 'one of the parks' rather than 'one of our parks' unless ownership intended.

× Uh, I think it is kind of a name, uh, and I think it is a goal what I want to achieve in, uh, near future.

✓ I think it has a famous name, and I also think visiting it is a goal I want to achieve in the near future.

'Kind of a name' is unclear; clarify as 'has a famous name' or 'is well-known'. 'A goal what I want to achieve' is ungrammatical; use 'a goal I want to achieve'. Add 'the' before 'near future'.

× So yeah, have a park which I want to go in the future.

✓ So yeah, there is a park I want to go to in the future.

Missing subject 'there is'. Use correct verb 'go to' and place 'in the future' at end. Ensure sentence is complete.