Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitations and grammatical errors, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Correct verb tense and article use, and avoid redundancy. For example, remove repeated words, change “enjoy the spending afternoon” to “enjoyed spending afternoons,” and keep answer within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes. I enjoyed going to the park with my parents and brothers when I was a child. We often played on the swings and had picnics there, so I enjoyed spending afternoons outdoors.

提案: Fix tense and vocabulary errors and be specific about activities. Use linking words to show time sequence (e.g., “however,” “since”) and correct phrases (e.g., “pushing him on the swing,” not “getting some wet chair”). Avoid unnecessary detail and keep it natural and concise.

例: Yes. I didn't visit parks for many years, but since my son was born two years ago I have been going regularly. I enjoy pushing him on the swings and walking together along the paths.

提案: Correct vocabulary and awkward phrases (e.g., “perks” → “parks”; remove “harmless” which is incorrect). Provide a clear topic sentence and two specific reasons, using linking words like “because” and “for example.” Make examples realistic (e.g., “families and office workers”).

例: Yes. I would like more parks in my city because they provide fresh air and green space for relaxation. For example, a new park near my house would give families and office workers a convenient place to exercise and have picnics.

提案: This is a clear and relevant answer—keep it but make it slightly more detailed and use a linking phrase to explain why. Add one specific detail about what you want to see or do there to enrich the response while staying concise.

例: Yes. I would like to visit Central Park in New York because I have seen it in many films and TV shows. I would love to stroll around the lakes and see the famous bridges and open lawns in person.

× When when I was a child, I liked going to the park with my parents and my brothers. We used to play on the swings and have a picnic there, so I always enjoy the spending afternoon outside.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to the park with my parents and my brothers. We used to play on the swings and have picnics there, so I always enjoyed spending the afternoons outside.

Problems: repeated word 'When when' is a sentence structure error and must be reduced to 'When'. 'have a picnic' should be pluralized to match habitual past 'used to' and general reference: 'have picnics' or 'have a picnic' but keep consistent; the clause 'so I always enjoy the spending afternoon outside' mixes present tense and incorrect noun phrase 'the spending afternoon'. Change tense to past 'enjoyed' to match 'liked' and 'used to', remove 'the' and change 'afternoon' to plural 'afternoons' or use 'an afternoon' depending on meaning. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and remove extra words, ensure pluralization for habitual actions.

× Yes I do. I hadn't been to a park for many years, but after my son was born two years ago I started going regularly to spend the time with him.

✓ Yes, I do. I hadn't been to a park for many years, but after my son was born two years ago I started going regularly to spend time with him.

Problem: 'to spend the time with him' contains unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'time', which is a past tense context but the primary error is incorrect article use (fits Past tense issue because tense consistency matters). Remove 'the' to form the idiomatic phrase 'spend time with him'. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity. Keep past perfect 'hadn't been' and past simple 'started' which are correct.

× I enjoy taking him to the playground and getting some wet chair while walking along the path.

✓ I enjoy taking him to the playground and getting a wet chair while walking along the path.

Problem: 'some wet chair' is ungrammatical: 'some' is used with plural or uncountable nouns; 'chair' is countable singular so use 'a'. If the student meant multiple chairs, use 'some wet chairs'. Also consider whether 'wet chair' is intended: if you mean 'wet' as in damp, better to avoid: 'and sitting on a wet bench' or 'and pushing him on the swings' depending on intended meaning. Suggest using correct article 'a' with singular countable nouns and ensure the noun matches intended meaning.

× Yes, I would like to see more perks in my city because parks provide fresh air and green space for people to relax.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks provide fresh air and green space for people to relax.

Problem: 'perks' is an incorrect word choice; it is a different noun meaning benefits. The student likely meant 'parks'. This is an incorrect adjective/noun choice issue; correct the word to 'parks'. Ensure consistency and word choice accuracy.

× For example, a new park near my house would give harmless and office workers a place to exercise, have a picnic.

✓ For example, a new park near my house would give homemakers and office workers a place to exercise and have a picnic.

Problems: 'harmless' is the wrong word; likely intended 'homemakers' or 'harassed' is wrong—'homemakers' fits context. Also the list 'exercise, have a picnic' should use 'and' before the final item; remove the comma before 'have' and add conjunction. Use plural forms 'homemakers and office workers' to refer to groups. Ensure word choice matches intended meaning.

× I've been seeing it in several movies and TV shows and I would like to experience the scenery and atmosphere in person.

✓ I've seen it in several movies and TV shows, and I would like to experience the scenery and atmosphere in person.

Problem: 'I've been seeing it' suggests repeated or continuous action and is less natural here. The present perfect simple 'I've seen it' is appropriate for experiences up to now. Also add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Use the simple perfect to express that you have seen it on multiple occasions.