Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct tense, reduce fillers, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one supporting detail. Use past tense consistently and replace vague phrases with specific activities and feelings.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went with my father, and we would walk and play games together, which made those visits very memorable.

提案: Answer directly, avoid repetition and fillers, and give one specific reason with a linking phrase. Use present tense and concise structure.

例: Yes, I still like parks, but because of my busy school schedule I rarely go. For example, I usually only visit parks on weekends when I have free time.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, avoid unrelated phrases, and provide a specific reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and include a concrete example.

例: Not really, because I live in Hanoi and there are already many parks available. For example, people often use local parks for morning exercise and meeting friends.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and a specific reason; avoid hesitation and repetition. Mention which park or type of park and one expected activity or reason why you want to visit.

例: Yes, I would like to explore more parks in Hanoi with my friends because I want to see different landscapes. For instance, I hope to visit a lakeside park to enjoy the view and take photos with friends.

× Umm, yes, of course. Uh, when I was little, I like to, I would like to go to the park with my father because we have, you know, we have, we had a lot of activities such as going exercise or walking together and this is a memorable.

✓ Umm, yes, of course. Uh, when I was little, I liked to, I would like to go to the park with my father because we had, you know, a lot of activities such as exercising or walking together and it was memorable.

The student uses present tense 'like' and 'have' while referring to past time 'when I was little'. This is a tense inconsistency (Present tense issue). Use past simple 'liked' and 'had' to match past context. 'Going exercise' is incorrect; use the gerund 'exercising'. 'This is a memorable' needs past 'it was memorable' and 'memorable' requires a noun or pronoun subject 'it'. Suggestion: keep verbs in past tense when talking about past experiences and use correct gerund forms for activities. Grammar problem type and ID: Present tense issue (6).

× I would say yes, but I, but you know, to be honest, I with my busy schedule at school, I, you know, I don't have enough time to go to park or I don't know, to go to the park with anyone else.

✓ I would say yes, but, to be honest, with my busy schedule at school, I don't have enough time to go to the park or to go to the park with anyone else.

The main problems are awkward word order and omitted article 'the' before 'park' and tense consistency (Present tense issue). The student already uses present 'don't have' correctly, but the phrase 'I with my busy schedule' is ungrammatical (sentence structure). Adjust word order to place the time/condition phrase before the main clause and include the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific park. Suggestion: simplify the sentence: 'with my busy schedule at school, I don't have enough time to go to the park.' Grammar problem type and ID: Present tense issue (6).

× MMM, I was a guest, uh, because now I'm living in, uh, Hanoi, which is a capital of Vietnam, so I can see a lot of parks in my city.

✓ MMM, I was a guest, uh, because now I'm living in, uh, Hanoi, which is the capital of Vietnam, so I can see a lot of parks in my city.

'a capital of Vietnam' implies there are multiple capitals; use the definite article 'the' because a country has one capital (Incorrect use of the definite article). Also tense mismatch 'I was a guest' vs 'now I'm living' is conversational but acceptable; primary correction is article use. Suggestion: use 'the capital of Vietnam' when referring to the single capital city. Grammar problem type and ID: Incorrect use of the definite article (17).

× Umm, that is the like, you know, favorite places for everyone to like to go exercise or walking or meet their friends.

✓ Umm, those are the favorite places for everyone to go to exercise, walk, or meet their friends.

Several issues: 'that is' with plural 'places' is wrong; use plural 'those are' (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and sentence structure). 'the like, you know,' are filler words that disrupt grammar. 'favorite places' is plural so use 'those are'. Use parallel verb forms: 'go to exercise, walk, or meet'. Also include 'to' after 'go' for 'go to exercise'. Suggestion: make subject and verb agree in number and use parallel structure for list of activities. Grammar problem type and ID: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs (13).

× Um, that, that's an interesting question. Well, for me in the future, I would like to like to go to, to discover another park in Hanoi with my friends, just because I don't, I want to like, you know, see the beautiful view of that.

✓ Um, that's an interesting question. Well, in the future, I would like to discover another park in Hanoi with my friends, because I want to see its beautiful views.

Problems: repetition 'I would like to like to' and 'to, to' are disfluent; 'I don't, I want to like' mixes negation incorrectly (Present tense issue and sentence structure). 'see the beautiful view of that' is awkward—use 'see its beautiful views' or 'see the beautiful view there'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary fillers and repetition, use 'in the future' for time phrase, and use 'would like to discover' for polite future intention. Grammar problem type and ID: Present tense issue (6).