Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümle zaman uyumuna dikkat etmelisiniz (geçmiş için "liked" kullanın). Ayrıca daha doğal ve akıcı olması için gereksiz tekrarları kaldırın ve bir neden ile kısa detay verin. Bağlaçlar (because, so) kullanarak mantıksal akışı güçlendirin. Önerilen maksimum 3-4 cümleyi geçmeyin.

例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I could meet new friends and play games with them. Those visits helped me build close friendships and enjoy outdoor activities.

提案: Olumsuz cümle yapısında yanlış kullanım var ("I don't still like" yerine "I don't often go" veya "I don't go to parks much" daha doğal). Ayrıca "cheat my friends" ifadesi bağlam dışı ve yanlış anlaşılıyor; muhtemelen "chat" demek istediniz. Ayrıntıları daha net ve uygun kelimelerle verin.

例: I don't go to parks very often now, but I enjoy visiting those by the sea. When I go, I usually read a book, drink coffee and chat with my friends.

提案: Tekrar eden ifadeler ve dilbilgisi hataları var ("so much parks" yerine "so many parks"). Cümleleri daha kısa ve mantıklı bağlaçlarla birleştirin. "It brings greenery to the city" gibi daha doğal bir ifade kullanın. Gereksiz doldurma kelimelerini (uh) azaltın.

例: Yes, that would be nice, but my city already has many parks. They add greenery to the urban area and make the city more pleasant to live in.

提案: Cümleyi daha doğal ve akıcı hale getirmek için gereksiz tekrarları ve "uh" kelimesini çıkarın. Yer isimlerini düzgün bağlamda kullanın ("I want to go to New York City and visit Central Park"). Destekleyici detaylar spesifik ve kısa olsun.

例: Yes, in the future I'd like to visit New York City and go to Central Park because it is very large and famous. I would like to sit on the grass there and read a book.

× When I was a child, I like going to park because I can meet new friends and we can make good relationship with each other.

✓ When I was a child, I liked going to parks because I could meet new friends and we could build good relationships with each other.

The sentence mixes past context with present-tense verbs. Use past tense verbs (liked, could, could) to match 'When I was a child'. 'Park' should be plural or include an article ('the park'); 'relationship' should be plural ('relationships') and 'make' is better as 'build'. Suggestions: change 'like' to 'liked', 'can' to 'could', 'make good relationship' to 'build good relationships'.

× I don't still like going to park, but I love to go park which near the seas.

✓ I don't still like going to parks, but I love going to the parks near the sea.

The negative present statement uses 'don't still like' which is unnatural; 'still don't like' or 'don't like anymore' is better. Use plural 'parks' or include 'the'. Use 'near the sea' (singular) for general location; 'which' should be replaced by a relative clause without 'which' or with 'that are'. Suggestions: 'I still don't like going to parks, but I love going to the parks near the sea.'

× When I go there I love to read books and drink some coffee and cheat my friends.

✓ When I go there I like to read books, drink some coffee, and chat with my friends.

The verb 'love to' is acceptable but keep parallel structure using infinitives or -ing forms; 'cheat my friends' is incorrect and changes meaning—likely intended 'chat'. Use commas in a list. Suggestions: replace 'cheat' with 'chat' and use parallel verbs: 'like to read, drink, and chat.'

× Yes, it would be nice, but I think in my city parks are so popular and there is so much parks and I love it.

✓ Yes, it would be nice, but I think parks in my city are very popular and there are so many parks, and I love them.

'There is so much parks' is incorrect: use plural subject with 'are' and quantifier 'many' for countable nouns. 'It' should refer to 'parks' (plural) so use 'them'. Suggestions: 'parks in my city are very popular' and 'there are so many parks.'

× It's uh, brings the city greenness.

✓ They add greenness to the city.

'It's brings' mixes subject and verb; 'it' is unclear. Use plural 'they' for parks or rephrase. 'Greenness' is a noun but 'bring greenness' is awkward; 'add greenness' is more natural. Suggestions: 'Parks add greenness to the city.'

× Yes, in future I want to go, uh, New York City and Central Park, uh, because Central Park is so big and so prominent, I want to see there and I want to sit in the grass and read a book in there.

✓ Yes, in the future I want to go to New York City and Central Park because Central Park is so big and famous; I want to see it and sit on the grass and read a book there.

Missing prepositions: 'go to New York City'. Use 'in the future' or 'in future' -> 'in the future'. 'Prominent' is awkward for a park; 'famous' works better. 'I want to see there' is incorrect: use 'see it' or 'go there'. 'Sit in the grass' is acceptable but 'sit on the grass' is more natural. Remove extra 'in there'. Suggestions: include 'to' after 'go', use 'in the future', 'famous', 'see it', and 'sit on the grass'.