Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện phát âm và chọn từ chính xác (ví dụ: 'parks' thay vì 'bucks'), tránh tiếng ậm ừ (umm) và mở rộng ý bằng một câu hỗ trợ rõ ràng hơn. Hãy bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó nêu lý do cụ thể hoặc ví dụ để làm rõ.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were fun places to play. For example, I often climbed trees and played tag with my friends, which kept me active and helped me build stamina.

提案: Sử dụng từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ: 'parks' not 'box'), tránh cấu trúc lặp và nói lắp, và diễn đạt lý do rõ ràng bằng một hoặc hai mệnh đề hỗ trợ có liên kết logic.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because exercising outdoors is good for my health. It improves my fitness and is enjoyable, especially when I go for a jog or meet friends.

提案: Giữ cấu trúc câu mạch lạc: nêu quan điểm trước, sau đó liệt kê vài hoạt động cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và ngắt quãng (ví dụ: 'there we there is'). Dùng từ nối như 'because', 'so' để câu mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide green space for people to relax. With more parks, residents could go cycling, take morning walks, or have picnics with family.

提案: Trình bày rõ ràng: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề (ví dụ 'Not really' hoặc 'I don't have a specific park in mind'), rồi giải thích lý do ngắn gọn và cụ thể. Tránh ngắt quãng và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như 'I am prefer' → 'I prefer' hoặc 'I prefer staying at home'.

例: Not really — I don't have a particular park in mind because I usually prefer staying at home. I also have limited free time due to homework and studying, so I rarely plan trips to parks.

× I umm, liked going to bucks when I was a child because it was very fun and it helped me to strengthen my body.

✓ I umm, liked going to parks when I was a child because it was very fun and it helped me to strengthen my body.

'bucks' is incorrect vocabulary; the intended plural noun is 'parks'. Use correct plural noun that matches meaning. Replace with 'parks'. Use consistent plural for places you visited often (parks).

× Yes I do, because going to box is very healthy.

✓ Yes I do, because going to parks is very healthy.

The noun 'box' is incorrect; context requires plural 'parks'. Maintain present simple tense 'is' for the activity 'going to parks'. Ensure noun agrees with intended meaning.

× It makes my strength more like healthier and it's also kind of fun.

✓ It makes me stronger and it's also kind of fun.

'makes my strength more like healthier' is ungrammatical. Use adjective 'stronger' to describe a person, and pronoun 'me' as object. Simplify phrase to 'makes me stronger'.

× Yes I do, because if we have more parks in our city, there we there is more green spaces and we can do more activities like cycling, umm walking in the morning or.

✓ Yes I do, because if we have more parks in our city, there would be more green spaces and we could do more activities like cycling or walking in the morning.

Original has redundant words 'there we there is' and wrong tense/modal. Use 'there would be' to express hypothetical result and 'could' for ability in that situation. Also 'green spaces' is uncountable plural without 'more' already present; keep 'more green spaces'. Remove trailing 'or'.

× I don't know because honestly I am prefer at home and I don't.

✓ I don't know because honestly I prefer to stay at home and I don't.

'I am prefer' is incorrect; prefer is a stative verb used in simple form: 'I prefer'. Add 'to stay' to clarify action. Keep negative 'I don't' though sentence may need completion; corrected part focuses on verb form.

× I think I don't have much time to go to some parks because I need to do my homework.

✓ I think I don't have much time to go to parks because I need to do my homework.

Use 'go to parks' (general plural) rather than 'some parks' which is not necessary. Present simple tense 'don't have' is correct for current general situation.