Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce repetition and fix pronouns and tense. Use linking words (for example, "When I was younger"), and be specific about activities to add content.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. When I was younger, my parents often took my sisters and me to popular parks in the Philippines, where we would ride swings and carousels. Those visits are some of my fondest memories because we spent time together and played outdoors.

提案: Give a single clear topic sentence, avoid fragments and repetition, and use correct subject pronouns and verb forms. Combine ideas with linking words (e.g. "however, now"). Provide one or two specific activities you do now and explain briefly how they differ from childhood.

例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, but now I usually go with my family and focus on walking or having a picnic rather than riding attractions. For example, we often walk around the lake and bring snacks to relax, which feels more peaceful than the energetic play I did as a child.

提案: Answer directly and support with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words like "because" and "for example". Be precise about the current situation and the benefit of more parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in our city because they provide relaxing green spaces for residents. For example, with more parks, people would have nearby places to exercise or picnic instead of traveling to the same crowded spots.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid hesitation words. Use conditional correctly and give one concrete example of a park or country you want to visit to make the answer more specific. Use linking words like "however" or "for example" to organize ideas.

例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I would love to visit famous parks abroad in the future. For example, I hope to see Central Park in New York or Ueno Park in Tokyo to experience how parks differ in design and activities, and to enjoy them with my family.

× Yes, I like going to a park, to the park.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child.

The student is answering a past habitual question 'Did you like going to parks as a child?' so past tense 'liked' is required and plural 'parks' matches general meaning. Use simple past for past preferences.

× As a child, it is one of my core memories.

✓ As a child, it was one of my core memories.

The speaker refers to a past time ('as a child'), so the verb should be past tense 'was' not present 'is'.

× When I was younger, my parents used to bring us, I and my sisters to the park.

✓ When I was younger, my parents used to bring me and my sisters to the park.

Use the object pronoun 'me' instead of subject 'I' after a verb. Also common English order places the speaker last: 'me and my sisters' or better 'my sisters and me'.

× We as I remembered, we went to the most popular parks here in the Philippines and ride some ride.

✓ As I remember, we went to the most popular parks here in the Philippines and rode some rides.

Remove redundant subject 'we' and use past tense 'rode' for the verb referring to a past action. 'Some rides' (plural) is more natural than 'some ride'.

× Yes, I still like going to the parks now, but I am doing a different thing.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the parks now, but I do different things.

When describing current habitual activities, use the simple present 'do' rather than progressive 'am doing' unless referring to a specific ongoing action. 'Different things' fits plural activities.

× Me and my family go to the park.

✓ My family and I go to the park.

Use subject pronoun 'I' instead of 'me' and place 'I' last in a compound subject: 'my family and I'.

× If you want to take a walk, jog or to or having a picnic.

✓ If you want to take a walk, jog, or have a picnic.

Maintain parallel structure after 'want to': use base verbs 'take', 'jog', 'have' rather than mixing infinitives and gerunds; remove extra 'to' and 'or'.

× It is still enjoy.

✓ It is still enjoyable.

'Enjoy' is a verb; to describe a noun use the adjective 'enjoyable'. Alternatively, say 'I still enjoy it.'

× It is still enjoyable to go to the park.

✓ It is still enjoyable to go to the park.

This sentence is acceptable when describing current feelings; no change needed. (Kept for clarity.)

× It might be different from before but it is still uh, it is still same fun as what we used to be.

✓ It might be different from before, but it is still the same fun we used to have.

Use 'the same' with a noun and 'have' for experience in the past. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'it is still'.

× Yes, I would like to see some parks in our city because going to park is really relaxing and enjoyable.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in our city because going to the park is really relaxing and enjoyable.

Use 'more parks' to match desire for increased number. Use the definite article 'the' with 'park' when speaking generally about the activity of going to a park in that city.

× I hope that in our city there will be more parks because now there are really few parks that we could visit and we are just going there with the same spot as usual.

✓ I hope our city will have more parks because now there are very few parks to visit, and we always go to the same spots as usual.

Use 'very few' not 'really few'. 'Have' is simpler than 'there will be' here but both are possible; correct 'spot' to plural 'spots' and simplify phrase order for clarity.

× There is no specific parks where I want to go in the future, but I would love to if ever be in different places like abroad when we go, when we go outside of the country.

✓ There are no specific parks I want to go to in the future, but I would love to visit parks when I go abroad.

Subject-verb agreement: 'parks' plural requires 'are' not 'is'. Simplify and correct word order: 'want to go to' and 'visit parks when I go abroad' is clearer.

× I yeah it is one of my bucket list to visit different parks and to try how their parks are and what to do there and enjoy them with my family.

✓ Yes, it is on my bucket list to visit different parks, to see how their parks are, and to enjoy them with my family.

Phrase 'on my bucket list' is correct. Use parallel infinitive phrases 'to visit', 'to see', 'to enjoy'. 'How their parks are' is clearer than 'how their parks are and what to do there' but could be expanded: 'to see what there is to do there.'