Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and descriptive, but it has grammatical errors, hesitations and some redundancy. Improve grammar (past tense forms and articles), reduce filler words (uh), and make the response more concise by using 2–3 clear sentences: a topic sentence plus one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "so").

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often spent hours on the slides and swings with my friends because my parents would take us to large grounds where we also played cricket on weekends.

提案: Good clear answer with specific details and purpose. Improve fluency by adding articles and correct verb forms, and link ideas with short connectors. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid small grammar slips ("for walk" → "for walks", "specially" → "especially").

例: Yes, I still go to parks, but now I go for walks rather than to play. I try to complete 10,000 steps a day, and exercising in nature—especially on weekends when I do yoga—makes me feel refreshed.

提案: Your content is relevant and includes reasons, but work on grammar (articles, plurality, word order) and reduce repetition. Use clearer linking phrases (e.g., "because", "therefore") and be specific: mention benefits such as cleaner air, safe play areas, and community spaces. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Definitely — I would like more parks in the city because they provide cleaner air and pleasant green spaces for people to relax. Moreover, parks offer safer places for children to play, so parents do not have to worry about them playing on busy roads.

提案: Nice specific answer with future intention and supporting details. Improve fluency by avoiding repetition ("a lot a lot"), use punctuation to separate ideas into 2–3 concise sentences, and use precise time expressions ("next month"). Add a linking phrase to show planning (e.g., "I've planned to go with a friend").

例: Yes, there is a park in South Delhi that I want to visit because it's beautiful, has many flowers, a pond, and active running clubs. I've planned to go there with a friend next month.

× I definitely love going to park.

✓ I definitely loved going to parks.

The original uses singular 'park' where the plural 'parks' is natural when speaking generally about visiting parks as a child; also the context is past (Did you like...), so the verb should be past tense 'loved'. Use plural 'parks' to match general reference and change tense to past to match the question. Suggestion: say 'I definitely loved going to parks.' or 'I definitely loved going to the park.' if referring to a specific park.

× When I was child, I still remember, uh, spending hours on slides and swings, playing along with my friends and my parents, uh, used to take me to these big grounds where I played cricket and especially on weekends.

✓ When I was a child, I still remember spending hours on slides and swings, playing with my friends, and my parents used to take me to big grounds where I played cricket, especially on weekends.

Multiple issues: missing article 'a' before 'child' (article error, ID 22) and awkward wording 'playing along with' (preposition use, ID 11). The phrase 'used to take me' should be linked with 'my parents' without extra commas. The correction adds 'a', removes filler commas, changes 'playing along with' to 'playing with', and places commas correctly. Suggestion: include 'a child' and use 'playing with' for company.

× So that was.

✓ So that was fun.

The sentence 'So that was.' is a sentence fragment lacking a complement (sentence structure error, ID 26). Adding 'fun' completes the thought and fits the past narrative. Suggestion: complete fragments by adding a noun or adjective to convey meaning.

× Yes I still go to parks but not to play now I go for walk.

✓ Yes, I still go to parks, but not to play; now I go for walks.

Missing commas for clarity and pluralization: 'go for walk' should be 'go for walks' (singular/plural issue, ID 1). Also punctuation improves readability. Suggestion: use 'go for walks' to express a habitual activity.

× I complete my 10,000 steps daily and doing it in nature gives me more joy and I go to park specially on weekends to sit and do yoga.

✓ I complete my 10,000 steps daily, and doing it in nature gives me more joy. I go to parks, especially on weekends, to sit and do yoga.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence and punctuation (sentence structure, ID 26); 'go to park' should be 'go to parks' (singular/plural issue, ID 1); 'specially' is incorrect in this context—use 'especially' (incorrect use of adverbs/adjectives, ID 13). Splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Suggestion: use 'especially' and plural 'parks' or 'the park' if a specific park is meant.

× I want to see more and more parks in my city because every everyone wants to live in the nature and wants to see trees, gardens around them.

✓ I want to see more parks in my city because everyone wants to live in nature and see trees and gardens around them.

Redundant 'every everyone' (word repetition, sentence structure ID 26) and incorrect article 'the' before 'nature' (article error, ID 22). Also 'more and more parks' can be simplified. Suggestion: remove duplicates, drop 'the' before 'nature', and streamline the sentence.

× And it's very important for the kids as well because no parent wants their kids to play in the road, on the road.

✓ It's also very important for kids because no parent wants their children to play in the road.

Redundancy 'in the road, on the road' should be a single preposition; 'kids' plural is fine but 'their kids' is repetitive with 'no parent' (pronoun clarity). 'Children' is slightly more formal and clear. Suggestion: choose one preposition ('in the road' or 'on the road')—'in the road' is acceptable but 'on the road' is more common; here keep 'in the road' as original intent.

× So playing in park would be much more safer for them.

✓ So playing in parks would be much safer for them.

'in park' should be 'in parks' or 'in the park' (singular/plural or article error, IDs 1 and 22). Also 'much more safer' is redundant; use 'much safer' (incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13). Suggestion: say 'much safer' and use 'in parks' for generality.

× Yes, there is one park in South Delhi, I have watched a lot a lot of videos about it and there are many run clubs going over there and it is very beautiful with lots of flowers and there is a pond as well.

✓ Yes, there is one park in South Delhi. I have watched many videos about it, and there are many running clubs that meet there. It is very beautiful, with lots of flowers and a pond as well.

Run-on sentence needs splitting (sentence structure, ID 26). 'a lot a lot of' is repetition; use 'many' (quantifier error, ID 14). 'Run clubs going over there' is awkward—use 'running clubs that meet there' (verb form/preposition issues, IDs 8 and 11). Also streamline 'there is a pond' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: split into clearer sentences, use 'many videos' and 'running clubs'.

× So I would definitely want to visit it maybe by next month. I have planned with my friend.

✓ So I would definitely like to visit it, maybe next month. I have planned to go with my friend.

'would want to' is awkward; 'would like to' or simple 'want to' fits better (modal verb/tense nuance, ID 4). 'I have planned with my friend' is incomplete; use 'planned to go with my friend' (sentence structure/verb form, IDs 26 and 9). Suggestion: use 'planned to go with' to show the arrangement.