Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition; use correct tense and singular/plural forms. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct pronunciation/word choice (park, parks) and past tense (loved, we played) are needed.

例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child, especially with my parents and siblings. For example, we often picnicked under a big tree and played tag, which created many happy memories.

提案: Use natural phrasing and avoid unnecessary filler words. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add specific activities and linking words. Avoid mentioning activities that may be sensitive (e.g., smoking) unless relevant; say ‘take a walk’ or ‘relax’ instead. Correct small grammar: 'I still like' or 'I still enjoy', 'listen to music'.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I live near a park in Korea, and I often go there in the evenings to listen to music and take a relaxing walk after work.

提案: Avoid hesitations and repetition; use linking words to structure reasons (for example, because, so). Use singular/plural correctly (parks, city). Provide one or two specific benefits with concise language.

例: Yes, I would. More parks would be beneficial because they provide green space for exercise and family time. For example, additional parks would give residents places to walk, play with children, and unwind after work.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and, if possible, add a brief reason or an example. Avoid filler and correct grammar: 'a specific park', 'any park is fine'. Use linking words to add a reason or preference.

例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I would like to visit well-known urban parks in other cities. For instance, I hope to see a large botanical park someday because I enjoy seeing different plants and peaceful walking paths.

× Yes, as a child, I love going to park, especially with my friends and with my parents and with my brother and sister.

✓ Yes, as a child, I loved going to the park, especially with my friends, my parents, my brother, and my sister.

The speaker is talking about childhood (past), so present tense 'love' is incorrect; use past tense 'loved'. Also 'park' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific place like 'the park'. Use commas to separate list items for clarity.

× And I had a little brother and I have, I had a little sister.

✓ I had a little brother and a little sister.

The sentence mixes tenses and is repetitive. Use simple past 'had' for both to be consistent when describing family in the past. Remove extra words 'I have' and duplicate 'I had' for fluency.

× We used to go there and we played around the packs.

✓ We used to go there and we played around the park.

'Packs' is a typo for 'park'. 'Around the park' is the correct prepositional phrase; use 'the' before 'park' when referring to a specific park.

× They were really happy memories of my childhood.

✓ Those were really happy memories of my childhood.

'They were really happy memories' is awkward because 'memories' are described; use demonstrative 'Those' to refer back to activities, making the sentence natural. 'They' can be used but 'Those' is clearer.

× Yes, I'm still like going to parks.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks.

Do not use the progressive 'I'm still like'; stative verb 'like' uses simple present 'I still like'. Removing 'am' corrects the tense.

× Now I'm currently living in Korea and near my house we have a park.

✓ Now I currently live in Korea, and there is a park near my house.

Use simple present 'live' for current state. Reorder phrase for natural English and use 'there is' to state existence and 'a park' as indefinite.

× I usually go there, like to smoke and then just to listen music and just to have a relaxing evening there.

✓ I usually go there to smoke, to listen to music, and to have a relaxing evening.

Remove filler 'like' and use infinitives without extra commas. 'Listen music' needs preposition 'to' ('listen to music'). Avoid repeating 'there' unnecessarily.

× Yes, I would love to see more packs in my cities.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city.

Use correct plural 'parks' and singular 'city' if referring to the speaker's own city. 'Packs' is a typo; correct to 'parks'.

× Currently in Korea, they have a lot of, uh, parks where you can relax.

✓ Currently, Korea has a lot of parks where you can relax.

Use concise subject 'Korea' and present simple 'has'. Remove filler 'they' which is vague and unnecessary.

× Uh, but I think it's better to have more packs in the city so that people can relax and they can spend their time with their family and they can have a relaxing evening after a long day in the walk.

✓ I think it is better to have more parks in the city so that people can relax, spend time with their families, and have a relaxing evening after a long day at work.

Correct 'packs' to 'parks'. Use parallel structure for the list of benefits ('relax, spend, and have'). 'Family' should be plural 'families' in general statements. 'In the walk' is incorrect; use 'at work'.

× Oh I don't have a specific parks specific park.

✓ Oh, I don't have a specific park.

Remove redundant words and fix plural mismatch: use singular 'park' with 'a specific'. Also add comma after interjection 'Oh'.

× I know I want to go in the future.

✓ I don't know which park I want to go to in the future.

Original sentence is unclear and mixes certainty. To answer the examiner's question about future parks, it's better to say 'I don't know which park I want to go to in the future.' Use 'go to' for visiting a place.

× I think any part is OK.

✓ I think any park is OK.

'Part' is a typo for 'park'. Use singular 'any park' to mean any one is acceptable.