Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更符合语法并且更简洁自然。可用一句主题句回答，然后用一两句提供具体细节和例子，注意时态一致和动词形式（例如 used to / would / played / ran）。避免重复词汇，使用连接词如 “and” 或 “so” 使句子更流畅。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I used to go there with my friends almost every weekend, where we would run around and play simple games like hide-and-seek. Those outings made me feel free and happy.

提案: 回答要更自然并注意词汇搭配与语法，例如用 feel relaxed 而不是 make me feel unwind；使用连接词如 “because” 后面保持完整句子。可以给出具体情境说明何时去公园，以及感受的细节。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially when I'm stressed or need some fresh air. Walking among the trees helps me feel relaxed and peaceful, and I often spend thirty minutes just breathing deeply and listening to birds.

提案: 回答应更直接并减少犹豫语（uh）。注意名词复数和时态（parks / on weekends families go）。提供具体原因并举例说明，比如促进社交和运动。限制在最多五句内。

例: Yes, I would. Parks provide great spaces for families and friends to meet and exercise. For example, on weekends many people go to parks for picnics, jogging or letting their children play, which promotes community life.

提案: 回答要更流畅并改正语法错误（haven't had much time；busy work/studies）。给出具体计划或时间表达愿望会更有说服力。使用连接词如 “because” 和 “however” 正确连接句子。

例: Yes, I want to visit Jialin Park, which is opposite my home. I haven't had much time because of work and my studies, but I've seen beautiful photos online, and I plan to go there next weekend to explore the gardens and take photos.

× Yes, of course I when I was a child I often go to the park.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child, I often went to the park.

句子在描述过去习惯时应该使用过去时，这里原句用的是一般现在时“go”，与时间状语“when I was a child”不一致。建议把动词改为过去式“went”，并调整标点和断句使句子更清晰。

× My friend also invited me to go to the park to play with him.

✓ My friend also invited me to go to the park to play with him.

该句语法本身正确，但如果要保持代词性别一致且更自然，可保留原句。此处无需修改。

× We always running and play some small games in the park.

✓ We always ran and played some small games in the park.

句子描述过去習慣，應使用過去式動詞而非現在分詞“running”。此外“play”也需改為過去式“played”以與時間一致。若使用現在進行式描述當時正在發生的動作，則需改為“We were always running and playing...”，但上下文為過去習慣，故用過去式更恰當。

× Yes, when I have pressure or I just have walk with fresh air, I want to go to the park because they relax the atmosphere, make me feel unwind and peaceful.

✓ Yes, when I feel stressed or just want to walk and get some fresh air, I want to go to the park because it relaxes me and makes me feel relaxed and peaceful.

原句有多處時態、詞類和主謂一致問題：1) “have pressure”應更自然為“feel stressed”；2) “have walk”是不正確的動詞搭配，應為“want to walk”或“go for a walk”；3) 主語“they”指代公園但後文語態與單數“park”更匹配，且動詞需與主語一致，故用“It relaxes me”；4) “make me feel unwind”中“unwind”應為形容詞“relaxed”或者動名詞短語“unwind”需調整為“help me unwind”。以上修改使時態與語義一致。

× Yes, of course, because I think the park is a good place for, uh, both friends and families in my city.

✓ Yes, of course, because I think parks are a good place for both friends and families in my city.

原句混用單數“the park”和泛指複數對象，語義上說的是“城市裡的公園們”，因此應使用複數“parks”配合“are”。另外“both friends and families”語意上不需逗號。若指特定一個公園，則保留“the park”並改為“is a good place for both friends and families”。

× Many, uh, in the weekend, many, many families were going to there and, uh, it's very crowded.

✓ Many families go there on the weekends, and it's very crowded.

原句中“in the weekend”應改為英式或美式常用的“on the weekend(s)”或“at the weekend”。“were going to there”中“to there”是不正確的搭配，應為“go there”或“went there”。根據語境描述習慣性情況，使用現在時“go”或一般過去時“went”均可，這裡改為現在時以表示常態。

× Yes, there is a park called Jialin Park and that is opposite my home so I haven't have much time to visit it because I have a busy walk and busy study.

✓ Yes, there is a park called Jialin Park opposite my home, but I haven't had much time to visit it because I am busy with work and studying.

需要多處更正：1) “there is a park called Jialin Park and that is opposite my home” 重複資訊，合併為“there is a park called Jialin Park opposite my home”；2) “I haven't have” 是時態和助動詞錯誤，應為現在完成時“I haven't had”；3) “busy walk”應為“busy with work”或“busy working”，“walk”用錯了詞；4) “busy study”也不自然，應為“busy studying”或“busy with my studies”。因此改為“busy with work and studying”。

× However, I have seen the photos of it on social media is very beautiful so I really want to visit it.

✓ However, I have seen photos of it on social media and they are very beautiful, so I really want to visit it.

原句結構混亂：1) “I have seen the photos of it on social media is very beautiful”缺少連接詞且指代不明，應把兩個分句通過“and”連接；2) “the photos... is” 主謂不一致，應為“they are”；3) 可簡化為“seen photos of it”去掉不必要的定冠詞。修正後時態保持現在完成時以表達與現在有關聯的經驗。