Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more consistent in tense/person and make sentences more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating words and correct grammar (e.g., plural/singular forms, verb forms).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family often visited parks for special occasions like birthdays, where we would ride carousel horses and eat cotton candy. Those outings were fun because we could bike around together and spend quality time as a family.

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct and more focused. Give a clear reason and one or two specific examples; use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid repetition. Correct awkward phrases like “a lot of parks that I really go.”

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Since I work in Singapore, I often visit nearby parks because they help me relax after work. For example, I sometimes have street food there and chat with colleagues, which makes me feel peaceful.

提案: Answer directly and avoid vague or confusing phrasing. Use a clear topic sentence stating your opinion, then add specific intentions and reasons with linking words. Fix grammar (e.g., “love to knowing” → “would love to know” or “I’d love that”) and avoid asking rhetorical questions within the answer.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city. I’d love to visit different parks on my days off because exploring them helps me discover quiet spots and nice views. For instance, I plan to try one park each weekend and find the best places for picnics.

提案: Be specific about which parks or types of parks you want to visit and explain why. Use clearer sentence structure and linking words (for example, because, such as). Avoid awkward phrasing like “Also the weather while sitting.”

例: Yes, I would love to visit parks in the United States, such as Central Park in New York or Yosemite National Park, because they offer varied scenery and activities. For example, I imagine picnicking with my family in pleasant weather and enjoying long walks on scenic trails.

× Absolutely yes. We love going to the park with my family, especially when there's special occasion like birthdays and weddings.

✓ Absolutely yes. I loved going to the park with my family, especially when there were special occasions like birthdays and weddings.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun consistency: The student uses 'We love' and 'my family' in the same sentence and mixes present with past context. The question asked about childhood, so past tense is required. 'We' vs 'my' should be consistent; using 'I' fits the student perspective. 'There were special occasions' agrees in number with 'occasions'. Suggestion: Use consistent subject (I or we) and past tense vocabulary when talking about childhood, and match plural nouns with plural verbs.

× We always eat our favorite cotton candy in the park, riding the horse and also we do biking all as well.

✓ We always ate our favorite cotton candy in the park, rode the horses, and also went biking.

Incorrect verb forms and awkward phrasing: The sentence mixes present tense with past context and uses '-ing' forms incorrectly for listed activities. Use simple past verbs for past activities ('ate', 'rode', 'went') and plural 'horses' if multiple or the general activity. Suggestion: When listing past activities, use parallel simple past verbs for clarity.

× Yes, absolutely. Now I'm working in Singapore, a lot of parks that I really go because it makes me more comfortable and I really find peace whenever, whenever I go to parks, I always eat street foods and being with my colleagues at work.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Now I work in Singapore, and there are a lot of parks that I often go to because they make me feel more comfortable and peaceful. Whenever I go to parks, I always eat street food and spend time with my colleagues from work.

Present tense and other errors: Use simple present for current occupation ('I work') and 'there are' to introduce plural 'parks'. Use 'go to' with 'parks'. 'They make me feel' agrees with plural subject. 'Street food' is uncountable, and 'being with my colleagues' should be 'spend time with my colleagues' for correct verb use. Suggestion: Use 'there is/are' to introduce existence, match verbs to plural/singular subjects, and use appropriate collocations (eat street food, spend time with colleagues).

× I really love to knowing that this country offers a lot of varieties of parks, I would like to visit them 1 by 1 during my day off and spend more time exploring the place And which parks are really the best to visit in this country.

✓ I really love knowing that this country offers a wide variety of parks. I would like to visit them one by one during my days off and spend more time exploring the places. Also, I want to know which parks are the best to visit in this country.

Tense and word choice issues: 'Love to knowing' is incorrect; use 'love knowing' or 'would love to know'. 'Varieties of parks' is better as 'a wide variety of parks' or 'many different parks'. Use 'one by one' spelled out and 'days off' for plural. Sentence fragments and run-on issues: split into clearer sentences and use 'which parks are the best' for a direct question/statement. Suggestion: Use correct verb patterns ('love knowing', 'would like to visit'), avoid run-on sentences, and choose natural collocations ('a wide variety', 'days off').

× Yes, I want to go to United States of America because I know that there are a lot of nice places there and especially parks that I can go around and enjoy. Also the weather while sitting in the park and eating and having chatting with family.

✓ Yes, I want to go to the United States of America because I know there are many nice places there, especially parks I can visit and enjoy. Also, I look forward to enjoying the weather while sitting in the park, eating, and chatting with my family.

Future/intention and verb form issues: Use 'want to go to the United States of America' and include the article 'the'. 'A lot of' can be replaced with 'many' for formality. 'Parks that I can go around and enjoy' is awkward; use 'parks I can visit and enjoy'. The fragment about weather lacks a verb; rewrite to express intention ('I look forward to enjoying...'). Parallelism: 'eating and chatting' should be balanced and include 'my family'. Suggestion: Use complete sentences that express intention and maintain parallel verb forms in lists.