Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but has some grammatical mistakes and minor repetition. Improve grammar (tense consistency and verb forms), make the topic sentence stronger, and combine ideas concisely. Use linking words to show sequence (e.g. 'usually', 'then').

例: Yes, I did. As a child I often went to the park with my family; we usually had a picnic and then rode our bicycles together.

提案: The content answers the question but is unclear and contains hesitations, grammatical errors and pronoun mistakes. Make a direct topic sentence, remove filler words, fix pronouns, and give a specific alternative activity with a reason. Use a linking word to explain cause (e.g. 'because' or 'so').

例: Not really. Because the weather here is very hot and humid, I usually prefer to relax in a café or visit indoor places like shopping malls instead.

提案: Good idea but the sentence is slightly ungrammatical and vague. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct count nouns and articles, and add a specific reason why more parks would be beneficial. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

例: Yes, I would. I enjoy green spaces, so it would be great if there were more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide places for exercise and relaxation.

提案: The answer tries to mention a park but is confused and unfinished, with repetition and tense issues. Give a clear topic sentence, state whether you have been there or want to return, and give specific reasons or memories. Keep sentences concise and use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

例: Yes — I'd love to visit Ueno Park in Japan again. I visited it before and enjoyed its museums and cherry blossoms, so I'd like to return to see them in full bloom.

× We had a picnic and ride a bicycle together.

✓ We had a picnic and rode bicycles together.

The sentence describes past actions, so verbs must be in past tense. 'Ride' is present; it should be the past form 'rode'. Also 'a bicycle' with 'together' often implies each person had a bicycle, so plural 'bicycles' is more natural. Suggest practicing regular past vs irregular past forms (ride→rode) and matching noun number to context.

× Not really because of the weather in my country it's too hot and humid for me personally so I prefer to umm. She'll chill out at the cafe and go some places more than.

✓ Not really. Because the weather in my country is too hot and humid for me, I prefer to chill out at a cafe and go to other places more often.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence and unclear pronoun 'She'll' that doesn't match speaker. Also verb forms and prepositions are incorrect: 'it's' is fine but needed a comma and clause separation. 'I prefer to umm. She'll chill out' mixes pronouns and tense; change to consistent first person 'I prefer to chill out'. 'go some places more than' is ungrammatical; use 'go to other places more often'. Suggestions: keep one subject per clause, avoid switching pronouns, use 'prefer to' + base verb, and use correct preposition 'go to'.

× Of course I like a green space so it will be good if there's a lot of park in my city.

✓ Of course I like green spaces, so it would be good if there were lots of parks in my city.

Several article and number errors: 'a green space' is unnatural for expressing a general preference—use plural 'green spaces' or 'green space' without 'a'. 'a lot of park' is incorrect; use plural 'parks' and 'lots of' or 'many'. Also conditional matching: 'it will be'→'it would be' fits this hypothetical, and 'there's' (singular) should be 'there were' to match plural 'parks' and the subjunctive/conditional. Suggestions: use plural nouns for general statements, match verb form to conditional tone ('would'/'were'), and use 'many'/'lots of' for countable plurals.

× I would like to go to Japan Park which is Ueno Park is a famous park in Japan which I have been before and I kind of like it so it would be great if.

✓ I would like to go to Ueno Park in Japan. I have been there before and I kind of like it, so it would be great to go again.

This sentence is a run-on with repeated and misplaced clauses. 'Japan Park which is Ueno Park is a famous park in Japan' repeats meaning and misorders information. Also 'which I have been before' is awkward; use 'I have been there before'. The final clause 'so it would be great if' is incomplete. Suggestions: split into clear sentences: name the park, state past experience ('I have been there'), express preference ('I would like to go' or 'it would be great to go again'). Use 'there' to refer to the park previously mentioned.