Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear, grammatically correct and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., Yes, I loved going to parks as a child), then add one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and pronouns. Avoid irrelevant or contradictory information (for example, don’t say “55 years old” when you mean a child). Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I used to visit the park every weekend with my grandmother, where we would feed the ducks and play by the pond.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and then precise, well-structured reasons. Use correct verb forms and simple numbers, and avoid redundant phrases. Use linking words (e.g., ‘but’, ‘however’, ‘because’) to contrast past and present. Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but not as much as when I was a child. Nowadays I only go once or twice a year because I am busy with work and I don’t have as many friends to visit the park with.

提案: Answer directly and focus on the question about wanting more parks. Provide a reason and a specific example of what you would like (e.g., green space, playgrounds, walking paths). Use correct sentence structure and clear nouns.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space and places to relax. For example, Sahajanand Park has beautiful walking paths and ponds, so more parks like that would improve people’s quality of life.

提案: Answer directly whether you want to visit parks in the future, then give clear conditions. Use conditional sentences correctly (e.g., “If I’m not tired, I will go”) and avoid awkward phrasing. Use linking words like “if” and “because” and keep sentences short and natural.

例: I might visit parks in the future, but it depends on my schedule. If I’m free and my family asks me to come, I will go; however, if I am very tired after work, I would probably stay home.

× Yes, obviously I'm really liking too in the park for enjoyment in my childhood.

✓ Yes, obviously I really liked going to the park for enjoyment in my childhood.

The progressive form 'I'm really liking' is incorrect with stative/experience verbs and for past habitual actions. Use simple past 'liked' and 'going' (gerund) to describe repeated past activity: 'liked going to the park.' Avoid present continuous for past habits.

× I'm really remember when I was a 55 years old, I'm going to with my grandmother and they regularly going.

✓ I really remember when I was 5 years old; I used to go with my grandmother and we went regularly.

Multiple issues: 'I'm really remember' incorrectly uses present continuous; use simple present 'I really remember.' 'a 55 years old' is wrong number and article; use '5 years old' without article. 'I'm going to with my grandmother' should be past habit 'I used to go with my grandmother.' 'they regularly going' mismatches pronoun and verb; use 'we went regularly' or 'we went there regularly.' This corrects pronoun reference and verb tense.

× Yes I'm like to going but not like a childhood era.

✓ Yes, I like going, but not as I did in childhood.

'I'm like to going' mixes forms; use simple present 'I like going.' 'not like a childhood era' is ungrammatical; express contrast as 'not as I did in childhood.' This fixes tense and comparative structure.

× I'm in days at the as of nowadays I'm as usually going one to two times in a year.

✓ Nowadays I usually go once or twice a year.

Original contains redundant and incorrect phrasing 'I'm in days at the as of nowadays I'm as usually going.' Use 'Nowadays I usually go' (simple present for habitual actions) and 'once or twice a year' for frequency. Keep subject-verb agreement and natural adverb placement.

× I'm really missing my childhood and going to park with my friends because I have no more friends just except from the 2 three friends.

✓ I really miss my childhood and going to the park with my friends because I don't have many friends now, only two or three.

Use simple present 'I really miss' for a current feeling. 'going to park' needs article 'the park.' 'I have no more friends' is awkward; use 'I don't have many friends now.' 'just except from the 2 three friends' is incorrect; use 'only two or three.' Fix quantifier and article usage.

× I'm really like to see when in I'm going to park in Sahajanand Park in this Saharan Park 1. Bond are in there, I'm really like to see and enjoy, just with some breathtaking views.

✓ I really like to go to Sahajanand Park and Saharan Park 1. There are ponds there; I enjoy the breathtaking views.

'I'm really like to see when in I'm going to park' mixes tenses and forms; use 'I really like to go.' Article and place names should be cleaned; 'Bond are in there' is incorrect—likely 'ponds are there.' Use 'There are ponds there' and simple present 'I enjoy' for habitual preference. This fixes verb form, articles, and noun errors.

× It's a depend on the work life balance or family.

✓ 'It depends on work-life balance or family.'

Use simple present 'it depends' not 'it's a depend.' Hyphenate 'work-life balance' as a compound noun. Remove unnecessary article 'the' before the concept unless specific.

× If my family force me to going back with me then I obviously going with them but if really I'm tired with after coming from the work it's not going because it's just a waste of time for me.

✓ If my family forces me to go with them, I will obviously go, but if I am really tired after coming home from work, I will not go because it would be a waste of time for me.

Use correct subject-verb agreement 'family forces.' After 'force,' use the base verb 'to go' not 'to going.' Use future/conditional 'I will go' or 'I would go' depending on certainty. Correct sequence 'tired after coming home from work' and use 'will not go' for intended action. Also replace 'it's not going' with 'I will not go.' This fixes modal and tense issues and subject-verb agreement.