Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the tense consistent, begin with a clear topic sentence, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, my sister and I often went with our friends, and we would spend whole afternoons playing on the swings and having picnics. Because the park was near our school, it became our regular meeting place on weekends.

提案: Provide a brief reason and use a linking word to connect ideas. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one concrete reason or example to make your answer more natural and informative.

例: Not really — I rarely go to parks now. Instead, I usually meet friends in cafés and malls because they offer comfortable seating and free Wi‑Fi, which makes it easier for us to chat and study together.

提案: Give a short justification or compare to other needs in the city using a linking phrase. A concise reason will show critical thinking and improve coherence.

例: No, I don't think so. We already have a sufficient number of parks, and I believe the city should focus more on improving public transport and maintaining the parks we have.

提案: Clarify your meaning and correct phrasing ("I can't" vs "I can"). Give one specific reason and an example, and avoid contradictions. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use linking words for coherence.

例: I don't have any parks in mind to visit. I prefer cafés because they are quieter and more comfortable for long conversations and planning future projects with friends, which is difficult in a busy park.

× I like going to parks as a child.

✓ I liked going to parks as a child.

The sentence refers to a past habit (as a child) so the verb should be in the past tense. Use 'liked' to match the time frame and avoid tense inconsistency. Suggestion: Use past simple for habits in the past (I liked going).

× We often go there with my sister and our friends, like we would play all day.

✓ We often went there with my sister and our friends; we would play all day.

The time reference is past ('as a child'), so verbs should be past tense. 'Go' should be 'went'. Also separate clauses with appropriate punctuation. 'Would play' is acceptable for habitual past; ensure preceding verb is past tense for agreement.

× I like going to parks as a child. We often go there with my sister and our friends, like we would play all day.

✓ I liked going to parks as a child. We often went there with my sister and our friends; we would play all day.

Combine corrections: the first clause should be past ('liked'), and 'go' should be 'went' to match past habitual context. Maintain consistent past tense throughout the sentence.

× I don't think so. I just don't really like going to parks. I prefer going to cafes because I can't chat there with my friends and have dreams and I can't do this in a park.

✓ I don't think so. I just don't really like going to parks. I prefer going to cafés because I can chat there with my friends and daydream; I can't do that in a park.

The original used 'can't' incorrectly where ability was intended: student meant they can chat and daydream in cafés, not that they cannot. Change 'can't' to 'can' to express ability. 'Have dreams' is unnatural in this context — use 'daydream' or 'relax'. Use consistent pronoun 'that' for referencing the activity. Also correct accent of 'cafés' optional but not required.

× Instead of going to parks, I usually go to cafes and malls to hang out with my friends.

✓ Instead of going to parks, I usually go to cafés and malls to hang out with my friends.

Preposition use is correct but spelling/diacritic of 'cafés' is preferable; no other preposition correction needed. This suggestion is minor: keep 'to' for destinations and 'with' for company.