Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak in correct tense and use clear sentence structure. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child.”), then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and small grammar errors (e.g., use “went” or “used to go,” singular/plural agreement, and correct word order). Use linking words like “because” or “and” to connect ideas, but keep sentences short and natural.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were large and had many swings and play areas. My family and friends used to have picnics there almost every weekend, and I remember seeing lots of colourful flowers.

提案: Use the correct present tense and concise expressions. Begin with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I still like going to parks.”) Then give one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words such as “because” or “so.” Avoid long lists without structure and reduce filler words.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, usually in the evenings, because the air is fresh and the gardens are beautiful. I also like watching children play and seeing birds and small animals, which helps me relax.

提案: Provide a clear opinion and support it with specific, logical reasons. Start with a direct answer (e.g., “Yes, I would like more parks.”), then give two concise reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” and “for example”). Avoid vague phrases and hesitations; choose precise vocabulary (e.g., “vibrant atmosphere,” “recreation,” “families”) and correct verb forms.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they would create a more vibrant atmosphere and give people places to exercise and relax. For example, parks would allow children to play safely and provide green spaces for families to have picnics.

提案: Answer directly and organize reasons clearly. Use the correct perfect or present perfect forms when referring to past visits (e.g., “I haven’t visited some parks yet”). Give one or two specific intentions and examples, and avoid repeating phrases. Connect ideas with linking words like “because” and “so.”

例: Yes, there are several parks I want to visit in the future because I haven’t had time to explore them yet. For instance, I plan to visit the city botanical garden to see its rare plants and a large riverside park to enjoy fresh air and walking trails.

× Yes, I like to going park in in when I was child because park has a huge area and lot of swing and swing and play food garden.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child because the park had a huge area, lots of swings, and a play area.

The original mixes present and past tenses incorrectly and has incorrect verb forms and articles. 'I like to going' should be past 'I liked going' to match 'when I was a child.' 'Going park' needs the preposition 'to' and plural 'parks' or 'the park'; here plural/definite choice made consistent. 'When I was child' needs the article 'a'. 'Park has' becomes past 'the park had'. 'lot of swing' should be 'lots of swings'. Also 'play food garden' is unclear; replaced with 'play area'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent (past) and use correct infinitive/gerund forms and articles.

× My friends and my family used to go for picnic in the park every weekend and I saw many flowers.

✓ My friends and family used to go for picnics in the park every weekend, and I saw many flowers.

Use plural 'picnics' when referring to repeated events. 'My friends and my family' is repetitive; 'My friends and family' is natural. Maintain past tense 'used to' and 'saw'. Also add a comma before the conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: use plural nouns for repeated activities and combine similar subjects concisely.

× Yes definitely I was like to going park every evening because park have a fresh air and hustle bustle life alone and there are beautiful gardens and blooming flowers and many more things to watch in the park like kids are playing and animals are walking.

✓ Yes, definitely I like going to the park every evening because the park has fresh air and a lively atmosphere. There are beautiful gardens, blooming flowers, children playing, and animals walking.

The student used 'was like to going' which mixes past and incorrect verb forms. The question asks 'Do you still like' so present tense 'I like going' is appropriate. Use 'to the park' with article 'the'. 'Park have' should be 'the park has' (subject-verb agreement). 'Hustle bustle life alone' is awkward; replaced with 'a lively atmosphere'. Use plural forms and gerunds correctly ('children playing'). Suggestion: match present tense, use correct articles and subject-verb agreement, and simplify awkward phrases.

× Yes, I like to see more parks in my city because my city is uh, like a boring place.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because my city is, well, a rather boring place.

The original 'I like to see more parks' is unnatural for expressing desire for the future; 'would like to' (modal for polite desire) is better. Also add commas and a more natural filler 'well' and modifier 'rather' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'would like to' when expressing preference or desire politely.

× If there are many parks, there are some energies like playing people like playing of games, kids are happily enjoy the park area and many more things like flash, uh, fresh flowers are filmed.

✓ If there were many parks, there would be more energy: people could play games, children could happily enjoy the park, and there would be many other attractions like fresh flowers.

Sentence has wrong pronouns and unnatural phrasing 'some energies' and 'playing people like playing of games'. Also mixed tenses and modality for hypothetical; use conditional 'If there were... there would be...' to express hypothetical desire. 'Kids are happily enjoy' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'children could happily enjoy'. 'Fresh flowers are filmed' is incorrect; corrected to 'fresh flowers'. Suggestion: use conditional structure for hypotheticals, choose correct verbs for ability/possibility, and replace informal fillers.

× Yes, there are many parks I want to visit in the future because some parks I haven't I have in visit in my pastime in my present time because I have not time for visiting the parks.

✓ Yes, there are many parks I want to visit in the future because I haven't visited some parks yet; at present I don't have time to visit them.

Original mixes present, present perfect, and incorrect word order 'I haven't I have in visit'. Use present perfect 'haven't visited' to indicate experiences not yet done, and 'at present I don't have time' for current lack of time. 'For visiting the parks' becomes 'to visit them'. Suggestion: use 'have/has + past participle' for experiences up to now and keep clear word order.

× But in future I will definitely visit the parks because there are some natural air provided in the parks and park has a beautiful.

✓ But in the future I will definitely visit the parks because the parks provide fresh air and are beautiful.

Use article 'the' in 'in the future' and keep future tense 'I will definitely visit'. 'There are some natural air provided' is ungrammatical; correct to 'the parks provide fresh air'. 'Park has a beautiful' is incomplete; changed to 'are beautiful'. Suggestion: use complete adjective phrases, correct article use, and proper subject-verb structures when explaining reasons for future actions.