Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question first, then add one or two clear supporting details. Avoid filler words (like, you know, I mean) and correct basic grammar (e.g. tense consistency, plural/singular nouns). Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g. therefore, so, because).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were places where I could run and play freely. For example, my favorite park had a large playground and a pond where my friends and I fed ducks, so I often spent whole afternoons there.

提案: Answer directly, then give a concise reason and a specific example. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. 'I live in a Middle Eastern city', 'I avoid parks when the temperature is over 40°C'). Keep it to two or three sentences and use linking words like 'because' and 'however'.

例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks, but I avoid them in summer because it often exceeds 40°C. However, when the weather is milder, I like to go for walks and relax under the trees.

提案: Provide a clear direct response (yes/no) with one or two specific reasons and avoid repetition and fillers. Use correct grammar (e.g. 'parks that are closer to my community', 'hiking trails' not 'hiking parts'). Use linking words like 'first', 'then', 'for example'.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they make urban life healthier. For example, I would start by visiting the parks near my neighborhood to find my favorite, and later I would explore hiking trails and nearby national parks to enjoy nature more.

提案: Give a direct answer and then add a specific plan or example. Reduce hesitations and unneeded phrases. Use correct sentence structures (e.g. 'I usually go with friends' and 'I might suggest a park to visit'). Try to include a short reason or future intention to enrich the response.

例: I don't have a specific park in mind, but I usually walk with friends rather than alone. In the future, I might suggest a nearby riverside park when planning an outing because it has good paths and seating for groups.

× Yes, in fact I do.

✓ Yes, in fact I did.

The question asks about liking parks 'as a child' (past). The student answered 'Yes, in fact I do,' which uses present simple. This is a tense mismatch. Change to past simple 'I did' to match the time frame of the question.

× I did like going to the park as a child.

✓ I liked going to the park as a child.

Using 'did like' is grammatically possible but uncommon in affirmative past statements; the normal past simple affirmative form is 'liked.' Use 'I liked' for natural past-tense expression.

× I like to go there, you know, now as an adult because like, I mean, I like greenery and living in a big city, there's no much greenery overall and parts are good for, you know, total pedestrian type of leisure because you don't have to.

✓ I like to go there now as an adult because I like greenery, and living in a big city there isn't much greenery overall, and parks are good for pedestrian leisure because you don't have to...

Multiple issues: tense mostly present is fine but there are wording and grammar errors. 'there's no much greenery' is incorrect use of negation and quantifier; correct is 'there isn't much greenery' (present negative). 'parts' is a typo for 'parks'. 'total pedestrian type of leisure' is awkward; 'parks are good for pedestrian leisure' is clearer. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct negation.

× Do you still like going to parks now?

✓ Do you still like going to parks?

The word 'now' is unnecessary and slightly awkward; not strictly ungrammatical but omitting it makes the question more natural. This is an optional stylistic/prepositional adjustment.

× Yes I do, but when it's not so hot outside.

✓ Yes, I do, but only when it's not so hot outside.

The original fragment lacks completeness; adding 'only' clarifies the intended restriction. Tense is present simple and is appropriate.

× For example, I'm I'm living right now in a city in the Middle Eastern city and it's like more than 40°C outside usually in the summertime.

✓ For example, I'm living in a city in the Middle East, and it's usually more than 40°C outside in the summer.

Redundant phrase 'I'm I'm' and 'a city in the Middle Eastern city' is incorrect. Use 'a city in the Middle East.' Word order 'usually in the summertime' should be 'usually in the summer.' This fixes sentence structure and redundancy.

× So I cannot go to the parks, but I still love to go there when I have time and comprehend temperature outside.

✓ So I cannot go to the parks, but I still love to go there when I have time and the temperature is comfortable outside.

'Comprehend temperature' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'when the temperature is comfortable.' Use an adjective phrase to describe the condition. Tense remains present and subject-verb agreement is fine.

× Yeah, I would like to explore all the parks, at least starting from the nearby community where I live, uh, just to choose the ones that is more, umm, to choose one most favorite for me myself.

✓ Yeah, I would like to explore all the parks, at least starting with the nearby community where I live, just to choose the ones that are more suitable and pick my favorite.

Problems: 'starting from' is acceptable but 'starting with' is more natural. 'the ones that is' is a subject-verb agreement error (plural 'ones' needs 'are'). 'to choose one most favorite for me myself' is awkward; use 'pick my favorite.' This corrects verb agreement and phrasing.

× And then, you know, going to explore some stuff like hiking parts, maybe national parks to develop this passion more.

✓ And then, you know, I would go on hikes, maybe visit national parks to develop this passion further.

'Going to explore' needs a subject ('I would go'). 'Hiking parts' is incorrect; intended 'hiking spots' or 'go on hikes.' 'To develop this passion more' is awkward; use 'further.' Fixes verb presence and prepositional collocations.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ (No change needed)

This is the examiner's question and grammatically correct.

× I don't have anything particular in mind.

✓ I don't have anything particular in mind.

Sentence is correct; no change needed.

× Uh, but like, you know, I usually don't attend that kind of, I don't go to for a walk by myself.

✓ Uh, but I usually don't go for a walk by myself.

Original has redundancy 'attend that kind of' and incorrect word order 'don't go to for a walk.' Simplify to 'don't go for a walk by myself.' This fixes sentence structure.

× I usually do that with friends and, uh, what they like more.

✓ I usually do that with friends, depending on what they prefer.

'What they like more' is awkward; use 'what they prefer.' Maintain present tense; restructure for clarity.

× Or maybe I can, uh, propose the parks when we're choosing us place to have a walk to.

✓ Or maybe I can suggest parks when we're choosing a place to go for a walk.

Problems: 'propose the parks' is awkward—'suggest parks' is better. 'Choosing us place' is incorrect pronoun; should be 'choosing a place.' 'to have a walk to' is wrong word order; use 'to go for a walk.' This corrects pronoun, preposition, and word order.

× So, yeah.

✓ So, yeah.

This utterance is fine as a discourse marker; no grammatical correction needed.