Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify meaning, correct grammar and pronouns, use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Keep it natural and concise (max 5 sentences). Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I usually went with my mother in the evenings to a place called Central Park, where we walked and played on the grass. I remember spending quiet, happy times there because it felt safe and relaxing.

提案: Use present tense and smoother linking words; make one clear topic sentence then support with specific reasons and an example. Avoid awkward phrases like 'real people' and improve grammatical correctness.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. They offer a chance to meet and talk with neighbours, which is important because our busy routines often limit face-to-face socialising. For example, I sometimes chat with friends while walking my dog in the local park.

提案: Give a direct opinion and then two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Avoid vague expressions like 'into our eyes or minds' and be concise.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide fresh air and safe spaces for children to play. In addition, parks encourage community activities, so people have more opportunities to socialise and exercise outdoors.

提案: State the park clearly, then give a concise reason with a specific detail or example. Use future phrasing correctly and avoid redundant words like 'for sure' at the end.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the park near Rashtrapati Bhavan by India Gate. I have seen photos of people running and exercising there, and I would like to experience the atmosphere and join a morning run when I visit Delhi.

× He has absolutely.

✓ He has, absolutely.

The student likely intended to express strong agreement but used 'He' instead of the pronoun 'I' or an interjection. Replace 'He' with 'I' to match the speaker: 'I have, absolutely.' However, a natural reply is 'Yes, absolutely.' The error is incorrect pronoun use; ensure the pronoun matches the speaker and the intended meaning. Suggestion: Use 'Yes, absolutely.' or 'I have, absolutely.' depending on context.

× I didn't like going part.

✓ I really liked going to the park.

This sentence has wrong negation and missing preposition/article. 'Didn't like' contradicts context; likely intended 'did like.' 'going part' misses 'to' and 'the' and 'park' spelling. Correct structure: subject + verb + gerund phrase with correct article/preposition. Suggestion: Use 'I really liked going to the park.'

× I usually went with my mother in the evening.

✓ I usually went with my mother in the evenings.

The preposition 'in' is acceptable but time expressions for habitual past are commonly plural 'in the evenings.' Use plural to indicate repeated actions. Suggestion: 'in the evenings' or 'in the evening' if referring to a typical time.

× She took us these this part called Central Park.

✓ She took us to this park called Central Park.

Pronoun and determiner order is incorrect: 'these this' is invalid. Missing preposition 'to' before destination. Correct phrase 'to this park.' Suggestion: Use 'to this park called Central Park.'

× We usually went there when we are for younger and she used to take us.

✓ We usually went there when we were younger, and she used to take us.

Tense mismatch: 'we are for younger' is ungrammatical. Use past tense 'were' for past habitual state. Remove 'for' which is unnecessary. Add comma and conjunction 'and'. Suggestion: 'when we were younger.'

× I still like to go park.

✓ I still like to go to the park.

Missing preposition 'to' and missing article 'the' before 'park.' Also 'go park' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: 'go to the park' or 'go to parks.'

× Parks gave us chance to interact with people.

✓ Parks give us a chance to interact with people.

The question is about present habit, so present simple 'give' is appropriate. Also missing article 'a' before 'chance.' Suggestion: Use present simple for general truths: 'Parks give us a chance.'

× Usually we get so busy in our daily routine that we didn't get time to have some conversation with real people with face to face.

✓ Usually we get so busy in our daily routine that we don't get time to have face-to-face conversations with real people.

Tense inconsistency: 'get' present vs 'didn't get' past. Use present 'don't get' for general habit. Phrase 'face to face' should be hyphenated as 'face-to-face' and plural 'conversations.' 'some conversation' is less natural than 'face-to-face conversations.' Suggestion: Maintain consistent present tense for habitual statements.

× So going park is a good option.

✓ So going to the park is a good option.

Missing preposition 'to' and article 'the.' Use 'going to the park.' Suggestion: 'going to the park is a good option.'

× I would like to see more parks than what we have right now because they gave us this kind of place into our eyes or minds that we can have some fresh air from them, we can play there, we can interact with people there and many more things.

✓ I would like to see more parks than we have right now because they give us places where we can get fresh air, play, interact with people, and do many other things.

Tense inconsistency and incorrect verb form: 'gave us' should be present 'give us' when speaking about current/future benefits. Awkward phrases 'into our eyes or minds' and 'have some fresh air from them' are incorrect; use 'places where we can get fresh air.' Also run-on sentence; split ideas with commas. Suggestion: Use present simple for general truths and clearer relative clause 'places where...'. Keep parallel verb forms.

× I would like to go the park nearby the Rashtrapati Bhuvan in Delhi near the India Gate.

✓ I would like to go to the park near Rashtrapati Bhavan in Delhi, near India Gate.

Missing preposition 'to' before destination. 'the Rashtrapati Bhuvan' spelling and article use: 'Rashtrapati Bhavan' does not require 'the' necessarily; 'near India Gate' is cleaner than 'near the India Gate.' Also 'nearby' used incorrectly; use 'near' or 'nearby the' -> 'near Rashtrapati Bhavan.' Suggestion: 'go to the park near Rashtrapati Bhavan, near India Gate.'

× I usually see the pictures of people running there, walking there, doing some kind of an activity.

✓ I usually see pictures of people running there, walking there, or doing various activities.

Article 'the' before 'pictures' is unnecessary unless referring to specific pictures. 'some kind of an activity' is wordy; use 'various activities.' Maintain parallel structure with gerunds. Suggestion: Use parallel gerunds and concise phrasing.

× So I aspire to go there sometimes in future for sure.

✓ So I aspire to go there sometime in the future for sure.

Use 'sometime' (adverb) rather than 'sometimes' (means occasionally). Include article 'the' before 'future.' Suggestion: 'sometime in the future.'