Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ตอบตรงคำถามได้ดีและให้รายละเอียดสนับสนุน แต่มีข้อควรปรับคือ ไวยากรณ์บางส่วน (เช่น tense และ article) ควรชัดเจนกว่าเดิม ใช้ linking words เพื่อความลื่นไหล และลดคำเติม (uh, um) รวมทั้งจำกัดความยาวไม่เกิน 5 ประโยค

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I spent most of my time there with friends, doing activities like running and cycling. We often played simple games and sometimes had picnics, which made those visits memorable.

提案: คำตอบตรงประเด็น แต่มีคำเติม (uh) และประโยคสุดท้ายขัดแย้งเล็กน้อย ควรเชื่อมความคิดด้วย linking words และปรับไวยากรณ์ให้ถูกต้อง (e.g. focus on my academics หรือ focus on my academic work) เพิ่มรายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงเกี่ยวกับความถี่หรือกิจกรรมที่ทำในสวน

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and clear my mind. However, I go less often now since I need to focus on my academic work, so I usually visit parks only on weekends to take a short walk or read.

提案: ความคิดชัดเจนและให้เหตุผล แต่ใช้คำเติม (umm) และมีความไม่เฉพาะเจาะจง ควรใช้ linking words (for example, such as) และยกเหตุผลหรือผลประโยชน์ที่เฉพาะเจาะจงกว่า เช่น ผลต่อสุขภาพ ชุมชน หรือสิ่งแวดล้อม ใช้คำว่า "such as" ให้ถูกต้อง

例: Absolutely, I would like to see more public parks in my city because they offer many benefits. For example, parks provide safe places for exercise, improve mental health, and create community spaces where people can meet and relax.

提案: ให้ข้อมูลสถานที่ได้ แต่มีปัญหาเรื่องโครงสร้างประโยค ไวยากรณ์ และความชัดเจนของชื่อสถานที่ (word order และ articles) ควรกล่าวชื่อสถานที่อย่างชัดเจน ปรับประโยคให้สั้นลงและเชื่อมด้วย linking words รวมทั้งให้รายละเอียดเพิ่มเติมเกี่ยวกับเหตุผลที่อยากไป

例: I would like to visit a well-known park in Bangkok called Suan Lum. It is famous for its lively atmosphere, with activities such as dance classes and running clubs, so I think it would be fun to join some events there.

× I usually spend most of time there with my friends doing sport activities such as running and cycling.

✓ I usually spent most of my time there with my friends doing sports activities such as running and cycling.

The sentence refers to a habitual action in the past (when I was younger), so the past tense 'spent' is required instead of 'spend'. Also 'most of time' needs the possessive 'my' and 'sport activities' is more natural as the plural compound 'sports activities'. Suggestion: use past simple for past habits, include possessive determiners, and pluralize 'sports' for activities. Suggested improvement: 'I usually spent most of my time there with my friends doing sports activities such as running and cycling.'

× Actually, yes, I do still like going to parks now because, uh, when I go there I feel more relaxed and comfortable, but now I have to focus on my academic.

✓ Actually, yes, I still like going to parks now because when I go there I feel more relaxed and comfortable, but now I have to focus on my academics.

'do still like' is wordy; 'still like' is sufficient. Remove filler 'uh'. 'my academic' is uncountable/incorrect here; the correct noun is 'academics' (referring to studies) or 'academic work'. Suggestion: simplify auxiliary usage and use the plural noun 'academics' or phrase 'my academic work'. Suggested improvement: 'Actually, yes, I still like going to parks now because when I go there I feel more relaxed and comfortable, but now I have to focus on my academics.'

× Absolutely, I would like to see more public parks in my city. Umm, I think there are many advantages of providing parks, such As for exercising and relaxing.

✓ Absolutely, I would like to see more public parks in my city. I think there are many advantages to providing parks, such as for exercising and relaxing.

Use 'advantages to' rather than 'advantages of' in this context. 'such As' has incorrect capitalization and spacing; correct form is 'such as'. Also remove filler 'Umm'. Suggestion: use the preposition 'to' with 'advantages' and the phrase 'such as' to introduce examples. Suggested improvement: 'I think there are many advantages to providing parks, such as for exercising and relaxing.'

× I like to go to Umm, the popular park at in Bangkok it called Sualum.

✓ I would like to go to the popular park in Bangkok called Suanlum.

The original sentence has extraneous fillers and incorrect word order: 'at in Bangkok' and 'it called Sualum' are ungrammatical. Use 'the popular park in Bangkok called Suanlum' or 'called Suanlum' after the noun. Also 'Umm' is a filler that should be removed. Suggestion: restructure to 'I would like to go to the popular park in Bangkok called Suanlum.' Note: corrected the park name to the likely 'Suanlum'. Suggested improvement: 'I would like to go to the popular park in Bangkok called Suanlum.'

× It is very popular park in Thailand.

✓ It is a very popular park in Thailand.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'very popular park'. English requires 'a/an' with singular countable nouns. Suggestion: include 'a' before 'very popular park'. Suggested improvement: 'It is a very popular park in Thailand.'

× There are many activities there such as dancing and running club.

✓ There are many activities there such as dance classes and running clubs.

'dancing' is a gerund but for activities it's more natural to use 'dance classes' or 'dancing activities'. 'running club' is singular; if there are many activities, plural 'running clubs' or 'a running club' depending on meaning is needed. Suggestion: match plurality and use natural collocations: 'dance classes and running clubs.' Suggested improvement: 'There are many activities there such as dance classes and running clubs.'