Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cümlede zaman uyumsuzluğu ve dilbilgisi hataları var. Daha doğal cevap için geçmiş zamanı kullanın, doğrudan soruya yanıt verin ve kısa bir neden ekleyin. Örneğin: “Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because I enjoyed playing on the swings and meeting friends.” Ayrıca maksimum 3-4 cümleyi geçmeyin ve gereksiz kelime tekrarlarından kaçının.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because I enjoyed playing on the swings and meeting my friends. I often spent entire afternoons there, which made my childhood very fun.

提案: Cümlede belirsiz zamir kullanımı ve tekrarlar var; ayrıca duygu açıklaması kısa ve kaba kalmış. Daha net ve kibar ifade edin, nedenleri bağlaçlarla açıklayın (e.g., because, so). Örneğin: “Not really, I don’t enjoy parks much now because they are often noisy and crowded, which makes them less relaxing for me.”

例: Not really, I don’t enjoy going to parks much now because they are often noisy and crowded, so I find them less relaxing than I used to.

提案: Cevap dağınık, gramer hataları ve anlamsal belirsizlikler var. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayın (evet/hayır) ve net sebepler verin; bağlaçlar kullanarak cümleleri düzenleyin. Örneğin: “Yes, I would like more parks because they provide calm places to relax and safe spaces for children to play.” Ayrıca gereksiz dolgu sözcüklerinden kaçının.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks because they offer calm places to relax and safe spaces where children can play while parents watch them.

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve kısa, bu olumlu; fakat daha iyi puan için nedenini veya kısa bir açıklama ekleyin. Bağlaçlarla kısa bir gerekçe verin. Örneğin: “No, I don't think so because I usually prefer visiting other types of places like museums or cafes.”

例: No, I don't think so because I usually prefer visiting other types of places such as museums or cafes when I have free time.

× Yes, I like going to parks as my child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child.

The speaker refers to a past habit. English uses past tense for past habits: 'liked' not 'like'. Also the possessive 'my child' is incorrect here; the correct expression is 'as a child'. Suggestion: use 'liked' and 'as a child' to indicate past experience.

× Actually, no, I don't like us still going to parks because that's so boring for me and so loud.

✓ Actually, no, I don't like going to parks anymore because they are boring to me and very noisy.

The sentence mixes pronouns and tense incorrectly. 'I don't like us still going' is awkward; use 'I don't like going' for personal preference. 'That's so boring for me and so loud' should use plural 'they are' for parks and 'noisy' instead of 'loud' to describe sound level. Also 'anymore' fits negative present preference.

× Child's voice is so loud.

✓ Children's voices are so loud.

Singular possessive 'Child's voice' is odd when referring to children in parks; use plural 'children's voices'. Also use plural verb 'are'. If referring to a single child, say 'The child's voice is very loud.' Suggestion: choose singular or plural consistently.

× Yes, I will so much stay in the park in my city because my stay is so much even chilled and children is playing a game in parks or they mother and fathers umm still uh, watching the others I don't know.

✓ Yes, I would like to stay in parks in my city more because my visits are relaxing, and children play games while their mothers and fathers watch them.

Original has multiple problems: incorrect future/modal usage ('I will so much stay' is ungrammatical), article and noun number errors ('the park' vs 'parks'), verb agreement ('children is playing' should be 'children play'), and awkward phrasing ('my stay is so much even chilled'). Use 'would like to' to express preference and 'visits are relaxing' for natural phrasing. Use plural 'parents' or 'mothers and fathers' and 'watch them'.

× No, I don't think so.

✓ No, I don't think so.

This sentence is grammatically correct for expressing a negative opinion about future plans. No change needed.