Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần trả lời trực tiếp hơn và súc tích (một câu chủ đề + 1-2 câu hỗ trợ). Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "I'm not really love" nên là "I didn't really like") và dùng các liên từ phù hợp để mạch lạc. Thêm chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ hoạt động bạn làm thay vì đi công viên) để tăng nội dung.

例: Not really. I didn’t enjoy going to parks as a child because I preferred indoor activities like reading or playing video games. For example, I often spent weekends at home building models rather than visiting green spaces.

提案: Trả lời rõ ràng, sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "I'm not really have" không đúng; dùng "I don't really have" hoặc "I'm not really interested"). Hạn chế tiếng lắp (umm) và rút gọn câu dài, thay bằng hai câu ngắn mạch lạc. Nêu lí do cụ thể và một ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: thích quán cà phê với bạn bè).

例: No, I don't visit parks much now. I prefer staying at home or meeting friends at cafes because I enjoy chatting over coffee rather than walking in green spaces.

提案: Câu trả lời tốt vì đã nêu quan điểm tích cực; nhưng cần cấu trúc rõ ràng hơn: một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó giải thích cụ thể vì sao (ví dụ: sức khỏe cộng đồng, không khí). Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Bổ sung ví dụ cụ thể về lợi ích của công viên.

例: Yes, I would. Even though I don't often visit them myself, having more parks in the city would improve air quality and give families places to relax. For instance, a new park near my neighborhood could encourage people to exercise and socialize outdoors.

提案: Cần trả lời mạch lạc: bắt đầu với câu chủ đề rõ ràng (có/không). Tránh mâu thuẫn trong câu (nói không nhưng sau đó nói thích đi dạo buổi tối). Sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "I want to be doing indoor activities") và cung cấp một ví dụ cụ thể (khi nào và với ai bạn đi dạo).

例: Not really — I don't have a specific park I want to visit because I prefer indoor activities. However, I do enjoy evening walks in local parks with my friends when we want to chat and relax after dinner.

× Well, to be honest, I'm not the kind of person who has a strong fascination for nature or animals, so going to a park on my own is not something that I would normally do even that when I was a child.

✓ Well, to be honest, I'm not the kind of person who has a strong fascination for nature or animals, so going to a park on my own was not something I would normally do, even when I was a child.

The sentence has a confusing structure and incorrect tense usage. Change 'is not something that I would normally do even that when I was a child' to 'was not something I would normally do, even when I was a child' to match past time frame and improve clarity. Suggestion: simplify clauses and keep tense consistent.

× So I'm not really love going to park.

✓ So I don't really love going to parks.

Incorrect verb form 'I'm not really love' should be 'I don't really love' (use auxiliary do for present simple negative). Also 'going to park' needs plural or article: 'going to parks' or 'going to the park'. Suggestion: use 'don't' + base verb and correct noun article/number.

× Not really to umm So as I said before, I'm not really have, I'm not really interested in nature or used really.

✓ Not really. As I said before, I don't really have an interest; I'm not really interested in nature.

Mixed and ungrammatical phrasing: 'I'm not really have' is wrong (use 'I don't have' or 'I don't really have an interest'). 'used really' is incorrect and unnecessary. Suggestion: separate into short sentences and use correct negative forms.

× So I'm not going to go into park or something like that.

✓ So I don't usually go to parks or anything like that.

'I'm not going to go into park' is awkward and tense mismatch. Use present habitual 'I don't usually go to parks'. Also 'into park' incorrect preposition/noun form. Suggestion: use 'go to parks' and express habit.

× I just want to be in home or maybe I love to go out, hang out with my friends at a coffee something.

✓ I just want to be at home, or maybe I like to go out and hang out with my friends at a coffee shop.

Use 'at home' not 'in home'. 'I love to go out' is acceptable but 'I like to go out' fits speaker hesitancy. 'coffee something' should be 'coffee shop'. Suggestion: use correct preposition 'at' for home and specific noun 'coffee shop'.

× MMM even that I'm not a person who has who into going to park, but I think if my community, uh, especially in my city that it has more parks, it is a good size because, uh, it's so that people just care more about the environment.

✓ Even though I'm not a person who enjoys going to parks, I think if my community, especially my city, had more parks, that would be good because people would care more about the environment.

Multiple errors: 'even that' should be 'even though'; 'has who into going to park' is ungrammatical—use 'enjoys going to parks'; tense and conditional: use past subjunctive 'had' for hypothetical and 'would be' result. Also 'it's so that' is unnecessary. Suggestion: use 'even though', correct verb 'enjoy', and proper conditional structure.

× No, not something really. Oh, I just go. I'm just really want to being umm, indoor in activity, not something outdoor, but umm.

✓ No, not really. I prefer indoor activities; I'm not really into outdoor ones.

Awkward fragments and wrong verb forms: 'I'm just really want to being' should be 'I really want to be' or better 'I prefer'. 'indoor in activity' is incorrect order: 'indoor activities'. Suggestion: use concise phrasing: 'I prefer indoor activities' or 'I'm not really into outdoor activities'.

× However, in the evening, I love the way I love the feeling that I will walk with my friends in a park.

✓ However, in the evening, I love the feeling of walking with my friends in a park.

Redundant and incorrect future 'I will walk' conflicts with present preference 'I love the feeling'. Use gerund 'walking' to express the activity that gives the feeling. Remove repetition 'I love the way I love'. Suggestion: use 'the feeling of walking' or 'walking with my friends'.